Wtf

[PenelopePeachStone]

So h is a police officer and is worried about bringing home the virus.
He has been in contact with confirmed cases and I totally understand the worry.

We’re taking precautions eg his work stuff goes in a special box and uniform straight in wash etc...

However he wants to move to his mums so as not to pass the virus to our dd (8 months)

I said his mum would be in a much worse position if she was to catch it from him and he says she’ll move in with me and baba to ‘Help’

Is he for real? She’s been angling for this since lockdown started and the answer from me is no. His answer was also no until yesterday afternoon so presumably she’s been working on him. It’s just so she gets to be near my baby.

I like his mum in small doses but she is passive aggressive, covertly critical and never shuts up.

I like quiet in my own space and I don’t want to share my house with her.

According to h I’m selfish and clueless ( for pointing out that lockdown rules forbid this and that is he has brought the dreaded bug home there’s every chance we’re already carrying it - then it gets passed to his mum - she’s over 60) again it’s gonna hit her hardest if it hits.

He’s been so nasty about this

Oh god! She's dead now but if I had to live with my MIL only one of us would have got out alive.

Tell your DH to jog on.

My DD is in a similar position. She has small children, she is pregnant and her DH is a key worker. No one is moving out and no in laws are moving in. It's far from ideal but thousands of people are in a similar position.

The last thing you need while being stuck at home with a small baby is having his mother stuck there with you.

She is more likely to be harder hit if she catches it. What happens then, is he going to expect you to nurse her through it? And then she'd be putting you and your baby at risk.

This sort of movement between homes is completely against medical guidance. However, if he wants to go and live with her, I'd tell him to knock himself out, but she's not coming into your house.

His remark about you not being able to get food is very nasty. He really doesn't sound like he's thinking of your best interests over this.

Sounds a lot like he wants you shoehorned into being carer to his mum and peace and quiet single life for himself whilst you're holding the fort at home. He's using coronavirus as an excuse.

Would be a big and permanent NO from me.

Tell him he can move out and in with his mum if he wants, but she's not living with you.

So you get to live with his mum, and gets a house to himself?
He doesn't mind about not seeing you or the baby for weeks on end?

His idea is baffling.

You've got me breathing into a paper bag!

Me too

No way. Just no. Nope. Nada. Nein.

Your mental health is as important as your physical health and it sounds like you are taking precautions. I would not contemplate this for a second.

Tell him to go to his mums and stay there permanently.

I’ve said it’s not gonna be any good for my mental health at all, we lived with pils last year as we both got made redundant at the same time and it was hell... and that was in a massive 4 bedroomed house with separate living areas.

As I said I don’t mind her in small doses but she has no boundaries and whenever she’s here it’s like she’s trying to compete with me(that goes straight over my head btw - I know my baby loves me the most)

As for h he loves ds and is good with him and he wouldn’t move away from him unless he felt he absolutely had too but he’s mentioned that loads of people on his force are doing the same thing !!! Im doubting this little nugget tbf. I’ve asked if they’ve been given any official advice and nada apparently... I’ve tried finding advice online for police and again nothing... it’s like they’ve been forgotten about in this whole saga no ppe nothing...

I’m happy to stick with what we’re doing I think it’s safe enough considering xx

Would have spaced that more, I didn’t realise how much I wrote

God no, I wouldn't agree to this at all. You're perfectly reasonable in your response OP.

images.app.goo.gl/WArZbWwLAdMs47io9

As for h he loves ds and is good with him and he wouldn’t move away from him unless he felt he absolutely had too but he’s mentioned that loads of people on his force are doing the same thing !!!

^ Y'know, a great deal of all the teenagers I've ever taught always told me the Everyone else is doing it/got it/said it/ yadda yadda! Ignore and ground him when he's not at work!

Don't Cave in!!!