Genuine opinions wanted. Should I let my daughter come to stay

[Progress2019]

My daughter is 18 and lives alone in a flat 25 minutes walk from our house. Shes self isolated since the 17th March, only going out to the shop, on her own.

She wants to know if she can come back for the rest of the lockdown as the loneliness is getting to her. Her mental health isn’t always brilliant, but she seems ok, just wants to be with us. She usually wants her own space, so for her to admit this is quite a big deal.

Her sister and I haven’t been outside (apart from the garden) since the lockdown started. My husband goes to the shop and for walks in the evening. He and I are working from home, both daughters places of work are currently closed.

I think its fine for her to come back. We would all rather shes here, but my friend has made me doubt myself. She says we’re putting ourselves at risk, and breaking rules. I know some uni students are still making their way home, so I can’t think this is different, apart from she doesn’t need to use public transport to get here.

I’d be interested in hearing opinions.

absolutely, immediately.

Can I just point out that she hasn't 'self-isolated' if she's been visiting the shop.
Neither has your husband.

I’m glad she’s coming home OP. I’ll probably get mocked, but I asked my 29ys old to come home, when he was furloughed. He may be an adult, but he suffers from MH issues and has Aspergers. He didn’t and now he’s stuck where he lives. Your kids never stop being your kids, no matter how old they are.

You go and collect your daughter. Don’t even have to think twice about it. It’s the right thing to do.

I bought my daughter home from uni. For your peace of mind, get her to self isolate.

Of course she comes home. Ignore your friend.

I brought my DD21 home from uni or she’d have been in a flat herself, she says every day she’s so glad to be with us as she doesn’t think she’d have coped in her own and she’s a very self assured confident person. Being isolated alone is difficult for most ppl.
Glad she’s home.

Yes I would at time like this it’s important we remember compassion

Well, if your friend brings it up again you now have a link to the legislation itself saying moving house is permitted.

Yes, definitely - go get here

@CillaBall
Whether or not I have children is irrelevant. It is not allowed and whether or not I have children is irrelevant to the current rules.

All those arguing that moving house is allowed if reasonably necessary is also irrelevant, she isn’t moving house, she is going to stay with her mother for a time before moving back to her own house.

Mental health matters.

Moving house is allowed.

So sick of the competitive proxy martyrdom popping up on MN. I am assuming it's from SPADs testing the waters and/or whackjobs.

Moving house and seeking medical care are both allowable reasons, and this is what she is doing, for the hard of thinking

No she shouldn’t come home and under current rules it isn’t allowed

The legislation doesn't say that.

I know it stretches it a bit, but the legislation says movement is permitted 'in relation to children who do not live in the same household as their parents, or one of their parents, to continue existing arrangements for access to, and contact between, parents and children.'

With common sense.. an adult child moving back to the family home and staying there is going to be less risky than a young child moving backwards and forwards between two parental homes every few days.

Yes absolutely.

She's alone she won't be with you, then go back to household... So there's no where for the transmission to go

Glad she's home with you op

Common sense,decency , compassion and empathy seem to have gone out the window because "rules".

Yes i would as long as she stays with u until lockdown is over.

Yes, I have DC who is in a similar position, they are currently coping ok, but I’d bring them home in a heartbeat

@EarlGreyT it isn’t relevant Whether you have children but my question really was, would you do the same for your child or not? That seems relevant to the debate

So glad to hear she is coming home, no question in my mind I’d go get my daughter.

OP I hope your daughter is ok.

Having thought a bit more about it, you could argue that this: She wants to know if she can come back for the rest of the lockdown as the loneliness is getting to her. Her mental health isn’t always brilliant, but she seems ok, just wants to be with us. She usually wants her own space, so for her to admit this is quite a big deal. might fall under the category of her leaving home for a medical need/to escape harm.

But as your daughter hasn’t self isolated for 14 days and neither has your husband, when she does come to stay with you, you all need to completely self isolate for 14 days (so not leave the house for shopping etc otherwise you do run the risk of potentially infecting other people)

Of course! If she's only been to the shop what difference does it make which house she came from?

Moving house and seeking medical care are both allowable reasons, and this is what she is doing, for the hard of thinking

This ^

I would have her home in a heartbeat.

She isn't 'in and out'. She isn't visiting a variety of people. She is moving home. If she gets ill, she will have folk to help look after her - bring her food etc.