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Original poster

Friends who smoke

69 replies

Helpmechangemymindsetplease · 30/03/2020 07:54

Would you tell a friend, but someone you haven’t known that long, that now is the time to stop smoking given the increased risk of getting the virus badly?

He has smoked since his teens and is now in his early 50s - and is definitely addicted with brown teeth etc.

Don’t want to offend him, and of course he is an adult with a brain so he must realise all of this himself.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/03/2020 07:55

What’s the point he’s clearly addicted and won’t be able to give up at this stressful time regardless.

Elouera · 30/03/2020 07:57

NO, now is not the time. I'm sure your friend is well aware that its unsafe and not a good thing. Your friend has had an addiction for 40yrs, so now is not the time. If they asked for vape/patches/gum etc, that is another thing.

In Sth Africa they have stopped ALL tobacco and alcohol. I can only assume there will be people climbing the walls, in withdrawal, seizures and committing crime just to get their fix!

SnuggyBuggy · 30/03/2020 07:57

I think a lot of very addicted smokers will need a lot of help to quit and that help is going to be less available now.

squeekums · 30/03/2020 08:09

I'm a smoker, have been since teens, I enjoy it, I'd smile and nod if someone told me to quit. Corona hasn't changed that. Dp is smart though, to avoid going to shops more, he stocked up on our smokes lol

whatswithtodaytoday · 30/03/2020 08:12

I'm sure he's well aware. If he hasn't stopped now, with all the help available and knowledge of how damaging it is, he's unlikely to do it in a very stressful time.

I have a 40 year old friend who still smokes, has done since we were teens. I'm worried about him but I know he won't stop.

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2020 08:12

He knows. There’s not really any point t having that conversation.

BlueGheko · 30/03/2020 08:14

Apparently smokers are less likely to to get the virus in the first place although yes it's worse if they do become infected.

PurpleDaisies · 30/03/2020 08:15

Where is that from blue?

chipsandpeas · 30/03/2020 08:17

dont say anything

if you said something to me when i smoked you would have probably been told to fuck off

middleager · 30/03/2020 08:17

You are wasting your breath (excuse the pun) sadly. My mother has smoked for 50 years and nothing I can do will have an influence. Not then and certainly not now when she is stressed.

My grandfather (her father) died of emphysema aged just 50, but even in hospital he was chainsmoking to the end.

It has to come from them if they want it (FIL, 83, has gone from 20 a day to nothing in recent years!)

Your friend is a grown man and it is his choice.

BlueGheko · 30/03/2020 08:18

Can't remember, just remember reading it in a science article last week, will link if I can find it.

CrunchyCarrot · 30/03/2020 08:27

My friend who smokes is very aware they should give up, but as with any addiction it's extremely difficult, especially in a stressful situation like we are in now. We've talked about it a fair bit, and I do understand their position.

Ginfordinner · 30/03/2020 08:32

I wonder how long it will be when the NHS decide to make smokers low priority if they present with Covid-19 symptoms?

loserssaywhat · 30/03/2020 08:35

Trust me he already knows. He's 50 he hasn't gone through life unaware of the dangers of smoking.
I have friends who smoke and they are all saying they are worried and it's making some them smoke more not less. A couple have given up but the reasons are more about saving money or not being able to get to the shops for cigs as often.

As an ex smoker myself there's nothing worse than someone lecturing you and telling you things you already know.

Original poster
Helpmechangemymindsetplease · 30/03/2020 08:37

I know, I wouldn’t lecture. It comes from a place of worry, but I guess we can only try to look after ourselves and our dependents, bottom line.

A while ago he was saying about trying to stop, so I was thinking I could just ask how that was going or if he had managed to start trying to stop. Don’t want to embarrass him and might not say anything in any case.

OP posts:
RibenaMonsoon · 30/03/2020 08:38

Myself and DH are self employed. We both smoke, trust me, now isn't the time to be lecturing people about their smoking habits.
It frightens me to my core every day but without my crutch, this difficult time will eat me up and spit me out inside mentally.

You are rightly concerned about your friend and are coming from a good place but this isn't the time. As smokers we know the risks, it's just not as easy as simply quitting. It really isn't.

thepeopleversuswork · 30/03/2020 08:39

There isn’t a smoker in the world who doesn’t know the health risks. Your pointing it out will not make a blind bit of difference.

Also now is the worst possible time. “Long term” health considerations are going to take a back seat now and if you are stressed and worried you are likely to do something more.

I loathe smoking but there really is no point.

Iwantacookie · 30/03/2020 08:40

I'm a smoker. Covid 19 has got me worried about smoking but I also know when I do quit I get quite chesty and bring up alot of shit off my lungs.
I'm worried this could do more harm than good atm so am still smoking.

MerryDeath · 30/03/2020 08:42

why is it your business?

Magicbabywaves · 30/03/2020 08:42

Is it definite that smoking makes it worse for someone or an assumption. (One I had made myself).

KindnessCrusader · 30/03/2020 08:46

I've been trying to give up for years. I've smoked for 20 years (minus when pregnant!). Corona virus is what has made me give up. I'm now on day 11 of quitting. I know that's not a lot but I'm really glad and feel like I've finally kicked it!

Fredastaireatemyjamsandwich · 30/03/2020 08:47

If I had a new friend who thought they could start giving me ‘health advice’ I would honestly try and distance myself. I’m sure you’re not perfect. How would you feel if they picked apart your life and suggested areas you could maybe change or improve? If you want to keep them as a friend, keep your thoughts and words to yourself.

Mabelface · 30/03/2020 08:48

Don't bother. I'm a smoker and now really isn't the time for me to quit when we're all stressed, bored and uncertain. He's not daft, he knows the risks.

OddBoots · 30/03/2020 08:52

If this is someone you are close enough to that this would come up in conversation then maybe you can offer support in quitting but only once, if he declined then let it be.

I am overweight, I know being overweight make me more likely to die if I get C-19 and I am working on weight loss but there are only a few people I would want to say anything to me about it at this already stressful time.

Original poster
Helpmechangemymindsetplease · 30/03/2020 08:54

I think I worded my OP badly - I wouldn’t lecture I would enquire somehow, and try not to offend.

I didn’t say I was perfect - this is purely in relation to this virus and how scary it is.

I like this person a lot I guess, but we can only attempt to control our own lives I know that (not that I want to control his, I don’t!).

The thought came from a caring or anxious place, not a preachy or judgemental one, but I wasn’t sure which is why I asked.

I got my answer Grin so I won’t say anything. Bit of a relief really as it is bad enough worrying about things which I can actually attempt to control.

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