Friends who smoke

[Helpmechangemymindsetplease]

Would you tell a friend, but someone you haven’t known that long, that now is the time to stop smoking given the increased risk of getting the virus badly?

He has smoked since his teens and is now in his early 50s - and is definitely addicted with brown teeth etc.

Don’t want to offend him, and of course he is an adult with a brain so he must realise all of this himself.

I suspect he already knows it would be a good idea to stop smoking. People carry on smoking because they can't stop or don't want to.
My sister has asthma, has had part of one lung removed and still smokes...

There isn't a smoker in the world who doesn't know that smoking is bad for them.

I loathe the habit. It killed my mum. She had a slow, horrible death, and watching her deteriorate and struggle for every breath while she lit up yet another fag was truly heartbreaking, but there is no way that I would tell anyone to give up smoking.

What baffles me is why people start the habit in the first place, given that they know how bad it is for them, how expensive it is and how difficult it is to give up.

Thanks for all the messages and for reiterating how hard it is to let go of an addiction. Which I did know in theory, but it’s different if you are living it. On the other hand I should know because I am addicted to my bloody phone .

Yes I guess if it came or comes up in conversation, then it might be different.

I am really sorry about your Mum @Ginfordinner.

Thank you posterHelpmechangemymindsetplease

She did a pretty good job of making my sister and me completely intolerant of the habit. I never say anything to smokers, and was delighted when the anti smoking laws came in. I just avoid areas where smokers congregate.

@Iwantacookie there is no evidence to suggest giving it up will make it worse. All the stuff you bring up would otherwise still be there and sitting on your lungs. When people give up smoking their lungs are getting healthier and are therefore able to start cleaning themselves like no smokers lungs except they have a lot of cleaning to do. Logic says giving up smoking would be better for you not worse,

Don’t want to embarrass him and might not say anything in any case

You will probably just annoy him rather than embarrass tbh. Stopping right this moment isn’t going to instantly change his health risk anyway.

I quit the fags at the end of last year, am so grateful every day that I did it before all this kicked off... I wouldn’t have managed.

I had also never realised how much I worried deep down and feel so liberated. Good luck to any body quitting at the moment!

Health improvements & times it takes. I’m an ex smoker (20 years stopped) but DM smokes still

www.nhs.uk/smokefree/why-quit/what-happens-when-you-quit

You will probably just annoy him rather than embarrass tbh.

Yes, I am not going to say anything.

Am embarrassed that people on here may think I am a busybody now - there is a context to the worry about this friend, but it’s a bit of a long and pointless story.

I am glad I asked here because it has confirmed what I can and can’t really worry about. Or I can worry, but it is pointless so a waste of time.

He will be aware of the dangers of smoking. You mean well Op, but this conversation will go badly.

People are at increased risk from the virus if they are very overweight. It would go down badly if you starting asking friends and family to stop overeating wouldn't it?

Everyone is aware of the health risks and are likely to find intervention patronising and will react in a defensive way.

You do sound a very caring person op and I understand your worries

Now is not the time. I gave up booze in January and have continued to smoke. Pointless trying to kick both addictions - had planned to in April or vape. I've never got on with vaping tbh.

I've been reading about CV since Jan - I've known it's coming. If anything I'm smoking more. But for me it would probably be detrimental to stop as the additional stress will make me ill.

@BlueGheko - be really interested to see the article.

I wouldn't want to be lectured. I lecture myself enough..

I wouldn't want to be lectured. I lecture myself enough..

Yes I know. I feel a bit stupid now . Still, it didn’t come from a bad place. Maybe says more about my own anxiety generally, and what I choose to attach it to.

Here's the article I think Blue is talking about:

www.qeios.com/read/article/554

From China's data it was originally thought that the virus affects men much worse than women because there are very high rates of smoking among men and very low rates of smoking among women. However the prevalence of smoking among those needing hospitalisation appears to be only around 1/3 of the prevalence in the general population.

These are very tentative initial findings and it's still open for peer review.

You're not stupid OP. I think we're all terrified

It's not much consolation, but you can offer encouragement and support if he does ever mention cutting down or quitting or perhaps tell him that in a tactful way? It's difficult.

I had a friend quit due to coronavirus. Someone who said they 'couldn't' quit and miraculously now has. Amazing!

I worry for my husband who still smokes, but I know from experience that lecturing is only going to make matters worse. He's a health care professional and knows an awful lot about CV, so he knows what he's doing, but is unable to stop. It's not a great time to kick it as everything is really stressful at the moment, so I just make sure I get a couple of large pouches of tobacco in whenever I do our shopping. I am an ex smoker so know the anxiety of running out of tobacco. Maybe one day he'll stop but it is entirely up to him.

I'm a life long smoker and have cut down from 20+ a day to 6/7 - DP has gone from 30 to 3 a day; partially for health reasons but also to save (lots) of money.

I’d probably laugh at someone if they thought they could stop me smoking

How would you feel if they picked apart your life and suggested areas you could maybe change or improve? If you want to keep them as a friend, keep your thoughts and words to yourself.

Bit harsh. Everything I was thinking was in relation to the virus, and the reason I asked here was because I wasn’t sure. I am glad I asked!!

Thanks @SmileyClare.

No I wouldn't say anything. There's some things in life you can't control and an adult man smoking is one of them.

I’d probably laugh at someone if they thought they could stop me smoking it wasn’t about thinking I could stop him or anyone else smoking.

Yes I take your point @Crystal87.

In some ways it amazes me the govt haven’t put anything in their official advice about smoking. They could easily add “cut down on smoking” to the “wash your hands, use your garden” etc but they have chosen not to. I think that is because they know it wouldn’t make a difference - most people are addicted and trying to quit isn’t necessarily going to work when everyone is more stressed than ever. People rebel against being told what to do anyway, that much is clear!

I’d read about doctors in New York trying to get tobacco sales banned for now.

Is it definite that smoking makes it worse for someone or an assumption. (One I had made myself).

It's because smoking causes lung damage, which would make the disease worse. But the damage has already been done in OP's example and stopping now isn't likely to make a difference.