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Original poster

My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.

409 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 25/03/2020 21:41

I’m a nurse, obviously anxious about what dangers and nightmares lie ahead, and my DH has just said that I don’t have to go to work if I don’t want to, and he’d rather us live on just one wage if it meant I could be kept safe.

Has anyone else working in hospitals ever felt so nervous about what’s to come that they’d consider leaving?

OP posts:
Helpmechangemymindsetplease · 26/03/2020 06:44

I really feel for you @Queenofmyprincess and would leave if I were in a position to do so (hypothetically, I’m not a nurse).

They say PPE is on its way (too late Angry) and I sincerely hope they are telling the truth. With proper PPE I would understand someone who wanted to leave as medics die despite it, but to expect healthcare staff to work without it is criminal.

I am so sorry about your scared and vulnerable colleague, and sorry for all of you Sad.

Lots of love to you Flowers.

Amboseli · 26/03/2020 06:46

I understand your position. I'm not a nurse but I would be very worried too especially as you don't have ppe.

I sincerely hope the government will be held severely to account for their actions both during this crisis and for the previous 10 years wrt the NHS.

Goatinthegarden · 26/03/2020 06:49

I haven’t read the full thread....I can’t believe the vitriol from all these people sitting safely in their houses. It must be terrifying for you and your DH.

You’re expected to be a saint who prioritises all the sick before your own children; yet consistently given crap pay and working conditions and just told to get on with it because it’s yours duty’.

We need nurses op, more than ever. It’s a big decision, but I certainly wouldn’t judge you for leaning

Goatinthegarden · 26/03/2020 06:49

Leaving, not leaning

Lardlizard · 26/03/2020 06:50

I feel for you op,

pantsforhats · 26/03/2020 06:54

I'm front line and terrified. I've cried everyday in the shower and on my way to work.

But it's a pandemic. I personally don't feel it's about individuals anymore it's about survival of society and the type of society I want for my kids to grow up in.

If me or my family get ill I want someone to be there to care for them. Why are their lives less important than mine, are those people more dispensable than me? I know ppe is an issue, but it's an issue for us all.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, if anything I'm trying to write down my own thoughts to strengthen them as I know I'll wobble in the weeks to come.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 26/03/2020 07:02

It’s so hard.

I don’t want to leave but nor do I want to be there.

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 26/03/2020 07:12

There are some nasty replies on here -those posters should be ashamed of themselves.

Selfishly I hope nurses don’t quit -we need every single one of you 🌷

However, the Govt has let you down terribly not having masses of PPE in place & I wouldn’t blame anyone for being too scared to carry on.

Maybe you could get a job in a nursing home or something like that?

AmelieTaylor · 26/03/2020 07:13

& to the posters who simply can’t stop, even now, Her husband saying ‘Quit if you want to love, we can cope on my way’ Makes him a lovely husband, not some controlling monster FFS

divafever99 · 26/03/2020 07:19

Quite shocked really by the nasty comments on her. As nurses this is joy something we signed up for. Nobody told me during nurse training that I would be expected to put my own and family's life at risk for several months. Our PPE has not arrived yet and I am terrified. I have been looking after people dying (not from the virus) who are unable to have any visitors due to their loved ones being infected or having to isolate. It's heartbreaking, and the effect this is going to have on the mental health of the workforce is going to be massive. I honestly wanted to walk today, and if we could afford it I would have done. If you are able to manage op I would go home to my family and keep the door shut! There will be plenty of jobs to return to when all this is over of you want to. Thanks

frumpety · 26/03/2020 07:52

I can completely understand why you are having a wobble OP and the lack of proper PPE is absolutely disgusting. Being scared of an unprecedented situation is not cowardly, it is a fairly normal human response and nurses are first and foremost humans. Being human is what makes the vast majority of us good at being nurses !
I hope you choose to stay, but I will not condemn you if you decide to go. Flowers

Cremebrule · 26/03/2020 08:00

I understand completely and I’m shocked you’ve had so many nasty comments. We’re asking a lot of frontline staff and many are obviously worried about ppe. I’ve got a friend due to come back off mat leave and she doesn’t know whether she will or not. She is in a good financial position so doesn’t need the money and is torn between helping and protecting her family. We will need healthy happy health care professionals once this is over that having some who haven’t worked the pandemic will probably be a good thing.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 26/03/2020 08:13

I am a frontline nurse, married mother of 2 with a DH who has severe immune problems.

I go from being terrified to calm and can completely understand your want to leave op. My family will and always comes first nowhere, does it say in our code of conduct we put patients first and disregard our own health and wellbeing. I am horrified by some of the replies on here especially from the nurses.

We do not have the PPE recommend by WHO why? Because it's about money and the continual understanding of the NHS. I was told by stores yesterday that they are counting the crappy ineffective paper masks we are using on a daily basis and they are struggling with supplies. We are teaching ourselves donning and doffing techniques and have not all yet been FIT tested. I was told by a senior that as I have passed the FIT test I can now test my colleagues!!! No way.

My staff are terrified and phoning in sick through stress, self isolation or due to family isolation.

It is awful we are working more hours struggle to get food due to the shorter shop hours. My children are scared and my husband will be moderately to severely unwell if he gets it, then what? I can't get help from my parent's, I am shopping for them on my odd day off.

OP do what is right for you and your family ignore the ignorant comments, I don't believe these people have actually seen how it is on the wards. I am trying to deal with the stress of my staff but cannot give them the equipment they need to stay safe and possibly alive. It is disgusting out there. I hope you make the right decision for you OP. Take care.

WhenYouveAFirstInEnglish · 26/03/2020 08:21

What PPE are people not getting?

Looking at the PHE table here at my trust we are getting it all, and allowed but not recommended to wear surgical masks in non COVID cohorts

RomeoLikedCapuletGirls · 26/03/2020 08:23

OP my only hope is that when this is over nurses will be properly appreciated and properly paid.

Do what you feel is best. I’d be terrified.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 26/03/2020 08:26

I think it’s clear which mask we have all been fitted and trianed for, versus the ones we are being given.

We are told we have to use the same mask all day and if we wear visors (if we are lucky enough to have sone) we have to just wipe them clean if any body secretions get on them - we can’t dispose of it and use a clean one because there isn’t enough stock.

My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.
My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.
OP posts:
MrsJoshNavidi · 26/03/2020 08:28

Surely you must have known when you decided to become a nurse that there was a strong likelihood that you'd have to treat infectious people, even people with deadly infections.

The number of people infected, even front line people is still very low when expressed as a percentage rather than as an absolute number, even though any infection is one too many.

JudyGemstone · 26/03/2020 08:34

I'm not sure babies and children are dying in Spain, this is very much a killer of the elderly. There is always gonna be fake news around - yes this is scary and unpredictable but we will get through it. I'm frontline nhs too but not medical, being redeployed to psych wards next week and hope I can be of help.

My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.
dottiedodah · 26/03/2020 08:35

I think your husband is obviously worried about you ,which is nice (and a refreshing change from some of the Dickwads posing as husbands on here!) He has your families welfare at heart .However this has to be your decision really .God willing the virus does go away at some point and things return to normal ,would you be able to return to Nursing easily and at your current grade do you think?Would you be happy without your Career ?Could you manage on one salary for a longer time ?This is not to judge you at all . Very few people( including me! ) could cut it as a Nurse in normal times let alone a pandemic!

PonderTweek · 26/03/2020 08:36

I feel for you OP. It's such a difficult situation to be in. Flowers Obviously we all hope healthcare workers stayed, but I wouldn't judge you for leaving.

BLACKTUESDAY1 · 26/03/2020 08:38

I really really feel for you. I work in a hospital as admin but we are not working safely and are at risk. My child has bad asthma and DH heart condition. I keep crying and feeling sick and just couldnt go in. Ive asked to WFH or a reduction in hours for now but have been refused. The stress is immense and I am not even right on the front line. Weighing up the job vs family is easier for me as admin isnt really a vocation but I still feel guilt. Cant begin to imagine the pressure you feel. Your family will ALWAYS come first. No-one signed up for this!

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 26/03/2020 08:38

Surely you must have known when you decided to become a nurse that there was a strong likelihood that you'd have to treat infectious people, even people with deadly infections.

I don’t think any of us have ever considered we’d have to deal with something this lethal and of this magnitude during our life.

If, when I had my interview at university, they had told me that as part of my role I would, in 13 years time, have to put my life on the line, as well as that of my my DH, my children, and other members of family whilst not being protected by either the Government or my Employer, and expected to just get on with it, then I certainly wouldn’t have chosen to go into the career.

But unfortunately I, and thousands of other nurses now find ourselves in this position. We are all scared for ourselves and our loved ones - but unlike everyone else in the world we aren’t allowed to consider our own lives, we aren’t allowed to be scared and want to prioritise and protect ourselves and our family because otherwise it makes us a coward? It means we aren’t fit to be a nurse and never were?

OP posts:
annamie · 26/03/2020 08:39

My husband has said I can quit my job if I want to.

Whilst he continues to progress his career and earn his pension.

TheBlackBunny · 26/03/2020 08:41

I was thinking about this the other day. If I were a nurse what would I be feeling...
For me, if I had a family of my own, I just couldn't risk my own life or the lives of my children, but that's just me and that's probably why I'm not a nurse. I, personally, wouldn't judge you for leaving.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 26/03/2020 08:43

Whilst he continues to progress his career and earn his pension.

You’re right - I guess I will stay then just so I don’t risk my pension.

OP posts: