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Original poster

Lockdown - separated parents

61 replies

Fonduefrolics · 23/03/2020 20:47

You should not be meeting family members who do not live in your home.

Does this mean my child should not be visiting their other parent who lives elsewhere?

OP posts:
Madwomanuptheroad · 23/03/2020 20:48

Yes, that is exactly what it means.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 23/03/2020 20:49

Unfortunately, yes.

OddBoots · 23/03/2020 20:50

Does that mean the child stays with whichever parent has them tomorrow?

Tinkerbellone · 23/03/2020 20:52

My ex has insisted on picking up DC's up tonight.
Two want to come back tomrrow and the other one wants to stay!
I'm panicking now.
They need to be back here with me...

BiarritzCrackers · 23/03/2020 20:53

My son left for his dad's for one night at 8.15pm - he doesn't have any clothes there, or any of his things. Just a change of clothes for the morning. Hopefully there will be clarification.

quicknamechange80 · 23/03/2020 20:56

As from 8.30 tonight no non essential journeys. So children stay where they are now. Unless the parent is a dr/nurse etc so has to work.

bythehairsonmychinichinchin · 23/03/2020 20:58

I’m a key worker (face to face contact with patients in the NHS), my ex is a key worker who can WFH.

School hours don’t cover my shifts and she’s in a vulnerable category so shouldn’t be going to school, plus the local council have clearly said if one parent is WFH they should stay with them at home.

So what the hell do I do if DD shouldn’t be meeting other family members? Surely it’s no different her going to her DFs than going to school? If she doesn’t go to her DF’s I can’t do my job.

Fuck fuck fuck!

Jules2011 · 23/03/2020 20:58

I’m hoping there’ll be some clarification. I can see lots of families arguing over this otherwise.

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/03/2020 21:00

I have 2 young DC, and am a part time key worker. The school.age one can go to school while I work, the younger one cannot. Younger one could go to my ex on my work days. Ex will still want to see both. I can imagine he will kick up a proper fuss if I say no. Wtf do I do.

Original poster
Fonduefrolics · 23/03/2020 21:01

@Jules2011 yes, I imagine I’ll be one of the parents getting shouted at

OP posts:
DangerMouse17 · 23/03/2020 21:02

There cant be clarification for every personal situation. Its quite clear and common sense that the child or children need to remain in one household, with whichever parent they happen to be with now.

bythehairsonmychinichinchin · 23/03/2020 21:05

Nottalotta I think they’ll have to allow single parent key workers the option of letting their children see their other parent, as they’ll lose lots of employees.

Jules2011 · 23/03/2020 21:06

Yes I get that they can’t clarify personal circumstances but perhaps a “this means children who live in different homes will have to stay in one”

Some people’s ex partners need this clarification as they aren’t all so sensible and understanding!

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 23/03/2020 21:07

Its quite clear and common sense that the child or children need to remain in one household, with whichever parent they happen to be with now

If it’s so clear, how will two key workers manage to look after their child?

Seapink2 · 23/03/2020 21:17

I am a key worker and a lone parent, I have the option of my child being in school, however the advice given is children shouldn’t be there if possible. My child’s dad has offered to have him instead of being at school whilst I work, great but it’s not clear if this is seen as an essential journey? It is not as clear cut as some might think.

TheTrickyWitch · 23/03/2020 21:24

Dad and I are key workers living 1 mile apart. 50/50 custody. The NHS will be down either a doctor or a nurse if this is so black and white.

We can't get any other childcare help, school is on limited hours. We've already had to rejig working hours around this. Are we expected to move back in together?!

Notcool1984 · 23/03/2020 21:36

Why would it be a problem to still share? Both myself and ex are keeping kids inside our own houses / gardens. We both work from home. He can still drive to drop them off with me tomorrow surely? As if they would have to stay with the parent they happen to be with tonight!?

BiarritzCrackers · 23/03/2020 21:37

It isn't clear cut at all - I'm sure there will be some clarification coming, as so many co-parents will be effected by this.

Lots of circumstances weren't addressed: volunteers who keep vital services running for the vulnerable are in law not 'workers', but there services will be needed, for example. Post Offices for top ups for utilities. The statement had to be brief so people didn't get blinded by the waffle. The detail should come, one would hope.

In France, one of the permitted circumstances on that for they have to complete before leaving the house is 'compelling family reasons', which may cover this I suppose.

Kaykay066 · 23/03/2020 21:41

Also nurse/police so kids will go between houses as per our shifts not much else we can do, we both need to work

thetigerthatcamefortea · 23/03/2020 21:52

I just know I'm going to get flamed for this.
But the way I see it is my children have lost all sense of normality. Their education, their friends, hobbies like dancing and swimming. I don't want them to feel like they have lost a parent as well right now.
They are kept at home. They don't go out apart from the garden. We play by the rules.
But for as long as I think is safe I will encourage them to still have time at both their home's.

Fidgetwonkam · 23/03/2020 22:02

There is no way I will allow my children to stay in one of their houses for 3 weeks. The police will have to forcibly remove them from me. The journey is a only 3 minute drive.

My ex and I co-parent and we both live alone (apart from the children). If we were a non-separated family there would be no issue so I don’t see why adding another building makes a difference?

DangerMouse17 · 23/03/2020 22:05

@WiseUpJanetWeiss

School is open for key workers?

Fidgetwonkam · 23/03/2020 22:07

@DangerMouse17 I’m guessing that you don’t have joint custody of children!

nopointinstaying · 23/03/2020 22:07

@fidget it doesn't make a difference, it's just a slap-dash policy thought up in a few days without giving thought to things like custody arrangements.

Hopefully some clarification will be coming urgently

Fidgetwonkam · 23/03/2020 22:07

@DangerMouse17 or even children?! 🙈