Lockdown - separated parents

[Fonduefrolics]

You should not be meeting family members who do not live in your home.

Does this mean my child should not be visiting their other parent who lives elsewhere?

Well I would risk a fine if that became enforceable as it makes no sense... not when people can still go to work or the supermarket.

Driving basically isolated children between 2 houses is no risk

Exdh has agreed to stay away for 3 weeks while we are in lockdown. He's a key worker and usually visits the kids 3 times a week but with the lock down and the extra risk he could bring to us and him it's not worth it. We've arranged nightly FaceTime calls.

Mine will be FaceTiming his dad instead of going for tea tomorrow.

@Fidgetwonkam

I'm relieved it's not just me in this position. My DC live with my ex in the family home. I live one mile away and do all the travelling to see them, once or twice a day. I don't intend to stop. We are both working from home and doing no more interaction than any other couple.

School is open for key workers?

Oh come off it. You seriously think this is a better option?

@LesleyKnope1 there has to be some common sense applied to all of this I think!

Hi, family lawyer here. We're waiting for updated clarification from the President of the Family Division and CAFCASS. In the interim the general advice is that arrangements that are court ordered should be kept to as long as they are in the children's best interests - and that will very much depend on individual circumstances for each child and each family. Sorry it's vague, we are all trying to help manage and advise on a huge grey area.

Fidget and Lesley I have similarities to your situations in being an isolated unit comprising exes - one DS, his dad and I get on very well, and we have been operating as a unit of three for a fortnight now. Even sharing food shopping and evening meals, and just driving the few minutes between our homes. If we have to divide this operation into two separately operating households, we will have much more contact with the outside world (DS and I would have to do our food shopping together, and exH doing his alone - instead of exH doing it for all of us).

I have a 10 year old DS with an ex partner, we have agreed that he’ll stay with me. I have a 6 month old at home too and his dad has a 14 month old and his girlfriend is pregnant, it seems safer for everyone thus way. I feel bad for my son though, could be weeks or months before he sees him

My ex or I will walk DCs from one house to the other on changeover day. They live in both houses, 50/50. They won't be seeing anyone else. We are all staying home otherwise.

Same as Luzina. I know in other EU countries this was allowed. With common sense.

I'm a key worker have to work no choice, my ds is with his dad exh who is also a key worker until Wednesday. We don't want to put ds in school with the childcare system asking us to care from home. I've changed my hours so we can split between 2 homes so what do I do now?

Family courts are quite happy to send kids to their abusive parent because it is bad for children to be away from them. Sometimes the abusive parent murders them. Yet now children will not be able to see their other parent. So both can work in crucial work. ( At least two posters above) but going to school is ok? Where they see more people than their other parent.

Me. Two autistic children in a small flat, I am dealing with meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. I am being sworn at, yelled at, called a fucking bitch many many many times a day. Someone is going to end up in hospital,

Surely if parent 1 is isolating except seeing DC
And parent 2 is also isolating except seeing DC. The risk is quite limited. I would say they can keep their usual custody routine.

But if one parent is still going out / to work / seeing other family
Or lives in a house where people are doing that then DC should stay with the other parent.

FYI the officials guidance says that travel is allowed - ‘Where applicable, this includes moving children under 18 between their parents’ homes.

@LochJessMonster where please?

Too stressed to read.

My autistic child is still bouncing around upstairs.

Section 1 of the guidance, giving the 4 reasons to leave the house:

Any medical need, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person. 1

Footnote right at the bottom of the page:

1. Where applicable, this includes moving children under 18 between their parents’ homes.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

My 5 year old son has Autism and finds change particularly difficult to cope with, on top of that he has some vulnerabilities with health concerns, when it was obvious 2 weeks ago that he shouldn't be at school both my ex and myself took the decision to remove him from school and both of us went into isolation apart from shopping of course! I haven't seen anyone other than my 18 year old son, my ex and my 5 year old for 2 weeks now. I haven't even seen my partner of 3 years during that period, I take the health of my family extremely seriously.
My 18 year old son lives with me and worked part time in a supermarket up until a week ago. I've asked him to give up his job so we can still share contact with my 5 year old. 2 households living as one family should continue doing so, this situation is hard enough for my 5 year old not having any contact with his school friends for 2 weeks now, he is already showing the strain because he is depressed that he can't play with his friends, thank God he still has a Father and half sibling and he's not just locked in with his Mum, if he was to lose contact with his half brother and father it wouldn't be right or reasonable considering the precautions we took long before government ordered it, it also goes against a court order and as far as I understand it a court order can only be overturned by a Judge. Each case will be different but in the case where both parents are behaving as one unit I see a much lower risk, after all why should my ex have to take my vulnerable child into a supermarket where he is more likely to be exposed????

I too am in this situation - ex and I live 4 minutes (drive) apart. Both of us have cars.
I don't understand how driving our children in our cars between our two places - once a week - increases the risk? I would like guidance as there are thousands of us in this situation, desperate to adhere to the rules but also not be isolated from/abandon our children. Clearly if it increases risk no, but clarification is needed. @nopointinstaying I do agree and @Fidgetwonkam, yes.

GeorginaLS see my post above, the official guidance allows for transporting children under the age of 18 between parents homes.

Ex lives 5 mins walk from mine - we are allowed a form of exercise a day, so I will be walking my DS to his dads on changeover day as part of my daily exercise allowance.
We both (other than DS) live alone and will not be seeing anyone else during the 'lock down' so I don't see how we are doing any harm?

@LochJessMonster thank you so much for that. I can sleep now.

@37wejammin
Thank you, that's helpful. I am a keyworker with shared care: my head says it would be safest for my child to stay with the other non-keyworker parent, but I hate the idea of changing one more thing in their new strange life 😥

@LochJessMonster
Thanks for that. I'd read the guidance but couldn't find anything. Clearly didn't spot the footnote