I honestly don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next few months. And then to hear it could be a year or more. I feel physically sick. I live in a small house with an 18 month old. We have no garden.
I have a severe anxiety disorder, I also have depression.
The idea of being indoors when the sun is shining and the weather is nice, not being able to go out is making me feel so low. I honestly felt suicidal last night and had a complete meltdown.
All my mental health groups have stopped, they’re offering online and phone conversations but it’s not the same and I also have anxiety about speaking on the phone. FaceTime feels false to me too.
I was on the long list for nhs counselling too, but god knows how long it’ll be until it will happen now.
I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to, no sign of this ending in the near future, just bleak. I was really looking forward to a summer playing with my almost 2 year old at the beach, park, with other baby friends. It’s all so depressing and is sending me into a dark spiral.
We had a holiday booked (UK) at the end of July. We haven’t cancelled it yet, I’m still holding out hope it might happen, but I’m trying not to get too focused on it, in case it doesn’t.
Not seeing my parents, family and friends for that long is also really upsetting, I know everyone is in the same boat.
I’m crying everyday, all day on and off. I’m not eating or sleeping really. I feel like I can’t be a proper mum to my little boy either as I’m always distracted.
I find my health anxiety is back too and I’ve been taking my temperature and oxygen levels on an obsessive basis.