Bloody husband won’t stay in!!

[BloodyBloodyHusband]

I’ve NC for this as most of it’s quite outing.

DH has one of the conditions listed on the severe list (AKA the stay in the house for 12 weeks list). He’s also self employed as a tradesman.

He’s absolutely refusing to stop working right now, even though we’ve been to hospital with him in the past for a cold - he ended up on oxygen for two days!

He’s shown me his routine which involves countless rubber gloves and hand sanitizer. He’s also asking all of his customers to stay away from him while he does his job. Some jobs he’s going to do at night when there’s no one there (industrial stuff) and others he’s just asked the customers to be out of the house.

I’m just not sure if it’s enough?! Surely he should just stay at home. I’m so worried about him but he won’t listen as he swears he’s being super careful. I understand that he’s stressed that he’d only get £94 a week if he does have to take the time off but we can cover mortgage/bills for a while on just my wages - it would be tight but we could do it.

Am I being unreasonable? YABU he sounds like he’s being smart, let him work. YANBU he shouldn’t be going out.

[DrManhattan]

Why are you asking? You must know

[BloodyBloodyHusband]

Why am I asking if I’m being unreasonable? Because if I am then I’ll stop nagging him, but if I’m not then I can show him that countless other people think he’s being stupid too... thanks for the super helpful response though!

[Mylittlepony374]

He's being reckless. Regardless of how many times he cleans his hands, or how many pairs of gloves he wears. He might be sensible but unfortunately he can not trust others around him to be.

[DrManhattan]

V.welcome

[dorisrainbow]

He’s being very reckless. You are not being unreasonable. He need to stay home

[NotStayingIn]

It’s great he is trying to protect himself but the only failsafe protection is staying in. But he knows that I assume? So maybe he is worried he wouldn’t get work again after this? Or that you do need the money? Or maybe he’s just being a bit stubborn?

[Bubblewings]

Being “super careful” would be self-isolating for twelve weeks.

[TerrorWig]

I think it’s fine for the overnight jobs. I don’t think he should be doing the other individual jobs though.

[hookiwooki]

The virus lives on hard surfaces for days, and can enter the human body through the mouth, nose or eyes. It won't matter if the customer is out if he even makes the smallest mistake. I don't think he's stupid, I think he's selfish. He could take an ICU bed and NHS care away from someone else. He could kill someone.

[fourandnomore]

Airborne for up to 8hr so indoors even when no one is there he is risking catching it. He should definitely stay in and take a mortgage holiday which would give you a bit of space financially.

[FazakAli]

If he was my dh, l'd tell him to update his will, sign everything over to me and that I'll request DNR & a direct cremation if he died. That might focus his mind a bit and he should stay in.

[clarebear99]

He's a tradesman with a cold? Yes that's very outing good job your changed your name

[Arseit]

Hopefully this will help him. Along with the letter / email he should get from the Govt tomorrow / Tues.

[Thedogscollar]

He is being both stupid and unbelievably selfish. You said he required oxygen for 2 days after a cold!!! Christ this thing isn't a cold and if he gets it then game over by the sounds of it. Harsh as that sounds it's the truth. As you said you have the money to cover bills and mortgage from your wages. It's a no brainer really.

[Redshoeblueshoe]

I have 2 relatives on the list. They didn't wait for a list to be drawn up, one has been self isolating for 3 weeks, the other for 2 weeks.

[Emmelina]

Unfortunately for all the will in the world, having his customers stay out of the house to protect himself is putting them at risk. Nobody is supposed to be going out unless necessary.

[CatAndHisKit]

Emmelina, people have a hell of a lot more chance catching it from the shopping for food/inpharmacies which are classed as essential, than a lone tradesman visiting their house who wears gloves and sanitises hands (and he doesn's cough.
But he is at risk, OP, even when travelling to jobs (using petrol stations), and if anyone in houses is a carrier and say, just left the house within a couple of hours of him arriving.

[AriadnesFilament]

Being brutally honest he needs to decide if you can manage for a little while on your wage +£94, or forever on just your wages if he catches it and is dead 🤷🏻‍♀️

[AriadnesFilament]

(That’s what I’d be saying to him if I was in your shoes, not just me being awful btw. I’ve got 3 people very close to me on that list - it’s not to be sniffed at. They’re all taking it with the seriousness it deserves, even though it’s going to come at enormous cost to each and every one of them)

[HicDraconis]

There is a high transmission rate to healthcare workers who are wearing n95 masks, and full protective equipment.

Rubber gloves and hand sanitiser doesn't quite fall into the same ballpark.

If England goes the same way as Italy then at some point he may well need an ICU bed. And if he's got existing medical issues he is unlikely to get one.

He needs to stay home.

[wecandothispeeps]

Of course he needs to stay at home!

He could kill himself, the protection measures are not enough, if they were we would all be using them and continuing as before.

He could others, by depriving others of a bed and oxygen.

Playing Russian roulette at this point in time is madness, and it sounds like he would be in a very dangerous place if he were to catch it.

Show him the thread, ask for his car keys and put your foot down.

[Carrie7469]

He's putting himself, other people and the NHS at risk. It's not acceptable

[GattinaGattona]

Tell him that money, wages, debt, budgeting, even living in poverty for a while, bankruptcy, recession it can all be overcome or recuperated but your life can’t if you die. Tell him that people in Italy are dying alone without funerals because their families are in isolation. This will be Britain very soon. This is a silent war, literally life and death. Plus he’s risking the life of others. So make the sacrifice, compromise, put your life in hold, suck it up. Do the right thing, and stay at home.

[lljkk]

I'm with your husband. No one else will be there.

[SignGrudgeBluebook]

Get a cheap caravan and make him live in that while he continues to flout good advice. Post a pizza under the door a couple of times a week. Job's a good 'un

He is putting you all at risk. He is going to be costing the NHS money and possibly the life of someone with an actual brain.