Bloody husband won’t stay in!!

[BloodyBloodyHusband]

I’ve NC for this as most of it’s quite outing.

DH has one of the conditions listed on the severe list (AKA the stay in the house for 12 weeks list). He’s also self employed as a tradesman.

He’s absolutely refusing to stop working right now, even though we’ve been to hospital with him in the past for a cold - he ended up on oxygen for two days!

He’s shown me his routine which involves countless rubber gloves and hand sanitizer. He’s also asking all of his customers to stay away from him while he does his job. Some jobs he’s going to do at night when there’s no one there (industrial stuff) and others he’s just asked the customers to be out of the house.

I’m just not sure if it’s enough?! Surely he should just stay at home. I’m so worried about him but he won’t listen as he swears he’s being super careful. I understand that he’s stressed that he’d only get £94 a week if he does have to take the time off but we can cover mortgage/bills for a while on just my wages - it would be tight but we could do it.

Am I being unreasonable? YABU he sounds like he’s being smart, let him work. YANBU he shouldn’t be going out.

Selfish as hell. We've become so bloody individualistic in this country. I'm alright Jack, never mind the rest of you.

He has had direction as to what is best for him. If he gets it, he is more likely to be hospitalised, taking a bed or ventilator that a key worker might need and putting more pressure on the NHS.

Key workers have no choice but to go to work: teachers, NHS staff, people keeping the food supply chain running. They have to go to work, automatically increasing their risks. Tell him to do his bit to ensure the medical care is available to them when they need it.

The message is clear: STAY AT HOME; PROTECT THE NHS; SAVE LIVES.

I would ask him where his will is, if he could update it, and put it somewhere safe along with all his bank details, pension details, life insurance, etc etc - so that when the terrible time comes that he is ill and can’t get a bed in icu, and he dies, you’re not left with an administrative nightmare - just when you may be feeling rubbish having caught cv off him too.

Oh and any requests for his memorial service - suspect they soon won’t be able to hold individual burials let alone have funerals.

Might help to get the message through to him and if not the still insists he does it because it really will be of help at an incredibly hard time.

I also have a tradesman partner who is going off to work as normal. He's not on the list to stay at home, but I know full well that if he was, he wouldn't. He's never been able to turn down work/money, ever, and we've had arguments about his lack of support while my life is upside down already (impossible task of full time wfh with homeschooling). I've voted yanbu, however I can understand that he wants to earn money and not let his customers down. I hope he stays well.

He’s worried about money, right? He’s on the death list as has just been pointed out. Is he well insured? Not a nice angle I know. But it may sharpen his mind to think he will leave you and any dependants struggling. And if he gets ill you will likely need to stop working to self isolate and care for him. Ergo zero income. Grim post, sorry.

OP has he been contacted yet to advise to self isolate for 12 weeks? Some people in the most at risk group have been. If he hasn’t he should receive a letter from the NHS very soon. I would use this to encourage him to do so.

Btw there are a lot of people who think they or a family member are in this group, then find they’re not.

Yes he’s being reckless. Not just to himself, but you, who will have to survive forever on one salary and be grieving him when he could have protected himself. He’s also being reckless to the NHS as the chances are if he catches this he will need ICU care. Some hospitals are already full. He really needs to stay at home

I work with a lot of self employed traders and a few have health conditions unfortunately they need to work to earn a living some are already living hand to mouth every week so not knowing if they will receive money from the government or if they will how long it will take to come through is pushing these people to work to feed their families. I’m NOT saying it’s right I’m just saying from working with self employed traders I can see why they are working.

This is exactly why we need some sort of universal income during this time. My DH is self employed, he is a key worker. I’m a SAHM so his is the only income we have. It isn’t fair the pressure people are under as it is without money worries on top.
If he can afford to stay at home then he should. If we could afford DH to stay at home then he would be. Unfortunately his role is needed and we can’t afford for him not to work, but we worry it is putting us all at risk.

I think if he can do his job without coming into contact with others and he is scrupulously clean then yes he should be working. Working at night when others are at home is a good idea.

Working at night when others are at home is a good idea

Except the virus can live on surfaces for days. And nobody is scrupulous enough with hand hygiene. And it can stay in the air for around 8h if aerosolised. That isn't going to change whether people are still there or not.