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Original poster

Living with someone who will be ‘shielded’

44 replies

Doubleyouexwhyandzed · 22/03/2020 20:47

My husband is on the highest risk group list and from now on will need to be shielded.
I have no idea how we are going to cope with this, we have two small children. I work for the NHS.
No face to face contact? My mind is boggled at how we will function. Sad

OP posts:
sakura06 · 22/03/2020 20:49

Can he stay home with the children and you live elsewhere temporarily? You could drop food for them? Extremely hard, I know. 😞

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 22/03/2020 21:00

I've just found out (via mumsnet) that I may be on the shielded list

Having a very teary evening because I cannot face isolating in the house away from my son.

However, if he isn't leaving the house either and DH only leaves to go shopping the do I need to stay away from DC?! I don't think it would be practical.

Say I did isolate and spend 12 weeks in the spare room and have no contact, what if DS gets it and is I'll? He's going to need me to look after him.

I'm confused, and angry. Anxious and sad

79Fleur · 22/03/2020 21:04

I’m in a similar position the only difference is I don’t have to go out either - my other half is in the highest risk group with an already life limiting lung condition and he also has no spleen.
We have a 4 year old - it will be an interesting few months.
Are you key to the running of NHS or could you do your work from home? Or like others suggest move out for a few months (easier said than done)
To be honest the decision of what to do for people in yours/ our position should have been made weeks ago ..(pointing the finger at the government here not you) i fear it is already too late for so many even with these new shielding measures.
Do whatever you feel is right for your family I sincerely hope we all get through unscathed.

jennyfin · 22/03/2020 21:15

Same situation - mum and sister are both high risk and the 3 of us live in a 2 bedroom flat. Both are to self isolate for 12 weeks.

I on the other hand work for a council and have been told under no circumstances should I be working from home due to my role, I am classed as a key worker and the situation is changing everyday.

I am petrified I am going to bring something home to them both, and worry about how this is all going to pan out. I have been at work all week and have not stepped foot outside except for Friday evening and that was a quick shop for essentials for them while they are at home.

I love my job and in no way trying to shy away from my responsibilities, but at what point do family come first? They have nowhere else to go.

ivykaty44 · 22/03/2020 21:21

I’m really finding this confusing

I have to have flu jab and take fostair

Am I supposed to be staying home?

What do I do about work

SheilaTakeABow · 22/03/2020 21:22

I'm the same. Just found out that I'm in the needing to be shielded group and I have no idea how to make it work practically. DS is 4, he doesn't understand what's going on, and DH needs to work.
I wasn't expecting this at all - my asthma is well controlled, or so I thought, but my inhaler is on the list Asthma UK has circulated - and TBH I'm petrified.
Sorry for the hijack OP

NettleTea · 22/03/2020 21:22

My daughter will be on the list. We are simply doing extreme, and I mean EXTREME social isolation for the duration.
We will arrange for her to have her medicines delivered, I dont think they will give her food as we are here. We have a local farm shop who delivers and a friend who runs a butcher who will deliver. The only places I will go is to our farm (where everyone is following same isolation protocol - we are sharing deliveries in alot of cases too, nobody is going to the village even) and if I need, to the petrol station where I pay at pump and sanitise my hands and card afterwards.
My son is allowed to come to the farm with me and we are going to check with the GP if my daughter can do it too or not.
We have a garden that she can go into and she is in fairly constant contact with her friends, a couple of whom are also in the same or similar situations.

SheilaTakeABow · 22/03/2020 21:23

ivykaty, me too with the Fostair. I was only put on it after a chest infection last year, and I wasn't aware it now made my asthma class as 'severe'

OrganTransplant123 · 22/03/2020 21:27

I don’t know how it is meant to work. I think people have the impression that this ‘vulnerable’ group are on the edge of death in general. I had an organ transplant which meant I can live a normal life. I have a job, I have children, but now I’m meant to adjust overnight to being an invalid. I’m finding it really hard.

Harpingon · 22/03/2020 21:34

My daughter is in the shield group. I am a single parent with little / no support. We will get through this but the next 3 months will be hard. My worry is if we both get Ill at the same time and I cannot care for her.

mynameiscalypso · 22/03/2020 21:38

I'm waiting to hear if my medication is immunosuppressive enough to make the list. I live in a small flat with my DH and my 7 month old baby. I'm pretty sure I can't follow the guidance to the letter. DH can WFH but I have to look after DS to allow him to do that.

QuaverQueen · 22/03/2020 21:39

I’m in the same boat!
DH is being shielded and I’m an NHS nurse.
We’ve moved into different rooms, he’s moved all his stuff into the front room where there’s a futon.
I’m in the lounge and he’s sitting on the futon in the front room.
We’ve only one bathroom.

Jj2431 · 22/03/2020 21:45

Same. My inhaler is on the list. I'm home with kids but DH still has to go to work. I'm petrified and also pregnant

SFCA · 22/03/2020 21:46

Our two and three year olds are both in the shielded group. We are very lucky that DH is able to WFH and I am a SAHP. We will be isolating as a whole household (already one week in), my kids not only have complex clinical needs but also can’t go 12 weeks without hugs and kisses!

If DH had not been able to WFH he either would have needed to move out or quit his job! We have some two people medical procedures so I think probably the latter.

This is going to be really hard for households that straddle both the shielded and key-worker camps, especially if children are involved.

A massive thank you to all our key workers and I hope everyone stays safe.

QuaverQueen · 22/03/2020 21:54

I’m going to miss my DCs, we FaceTimed today.

peacebypeace · 22/03/2020 21:54

I am in this position too, DH is being shielded but I am a key worker in a school. Finding it very stressful. We will sleep in separate rooms, I will put gloves on to get into the house and go upstairs then will shower. We will minimise contact as much as possible.

It is horrid.

Redda · 22/03/2020 21:59

I think it's a blanket letter covering everyone but it doesn't necessarily apply to everyone - this is just what I took from the Q&A's from the press afterwards, the lady to the right of Boris said each individual case was different, they are just sending letters to all but it may not be required for all.

Blueberryham · 22/03/2020 22:05

What inhalers are on this list?

SheilaTakeABow · 22/03/2020 22:09

Screenshot here. Hopefully

Living with someone who will be ‘shielded’
Madhairday · 22/03/2020 22:11

I'm in the shielded group and expecting a letter. Feeling very tearful aboit separating from the rest of the family for 12 weeks. Just horrendous. I'm lucky in that mine are teens so ok to sort themselves while dh is working. Dh sees a fair amount of people in his job (lot less ATM) so I'm going to have to avoid seeing him. He'll have to sleep in the spare room. Feel really sick but I know it's the right thing to do.

wishingitwasfriday · 22/03/2020 22:25

Make sure you are taking the dose that puts you in the group. My inhaler is on the list but I do take the dose prescribed to put me in the high risk category.

Original poster
Doubleyouexwhyandzed · 23/03/2020 07:34

My DH is also post transplant but very well.
Currently we are all isolated as children had a new cough couple of days ago. So we are isolating DH in our bedroom/en-suite/office so he can work. We have put a makeshift barrier across the upstairs hall so the kids have a barrier to guide them on distances. If we stay on our side and he stays in the rooms we have 6ft gap. Is this enough? Or are we supposed to be totally unable to talk to each other? I’m not really sure what it means.

OP posts:
OrganTransplant123 · 23/03/2020 10:31

If you have a child with a cough then you need to be more stringent. How is your DH feeling about it?

My DH would like us all to go into an isolation bubble whereby he and the children also never leave the house. I don’t think that’s going to be practical. I need to ring my transplant centre today because I need more medication. I’m going to ask to speak to my consultant.

BarbedBloom · 23/03/2020 10:35

We have the same problem. I am high risk and must shield but we live in a small open plan one bed so we can't close a door on each other unless I live in the bathroom or garden. We have nowhere else he can go either, both of our parents are also in the high risk shielding group and no friends have room or are also shielding/self isolating. We can't afford a hotel etc.

We are just having to constantly wash hands etc and he puts his work clothes straight in the washing machine when getting home. I am half hoping they will close non essential shops soon though it screws us financially. His boss was going to close on Friday but changed her mind as she wants to have a sale

findtherainbowafterthestorm · 23/03/2020 18:13

Has everyone who has to be shielded received a text message?

My MIL has chronic leukaemia lymphoma, COPD and heart issues. I understood from the NHS guidance that she would be part of the 1.5mill who would be shielded.

But she's yet to receive one. Just wondered if it's texts and letters or just texts?

Thanks.