Living with someone who will be ‘shielded’

[Doubleyouexwhyandzed]

My husband is on the highest risk group list and from now on will need to be shielded.
I have no idea how we are going to cope with this, we have two small children. I work for the NHS.
No face to face contact? My mind is boggled at how we will function.

No letter or text here yet though as a kidney Tx pt we know DH is part of the group.
It felt so weird at work today listening to people’s moans and worries whilst harbouring my own.
There may be Hotel accommodation available for staff living with those being shielded but I don’t want to go into that too soon as we’re in this for the long haul.

I bagged my uniform up at work into a bin bag and will chuck it straight into the machine when I get home.

We’re continuing to stay in different rooms, talking to each other in doorways.

I’m just not sure I can face moving out from my little children for three months plus, to enable me to work. My work is not the diet that you can do at a 6ft distance so there will be exposure to those without symptoms.

Letters are still being sent out . I chased this up today as my 5 yr old is extremely vulnerable and I was pointed to the gov. UK website where it says that letters are being sent out and can take until the 29th to be received.
All guidelines for living with a shielded person are on there. So it is quite useful.
We are all staying in for the duration as we have 2 with complex needs though likely only youngest will be on the list. We are foster carers so the whole family have decided to go on lockdown together. Boring but necessary and even venturing out for shopping is anxiety inducing for me so we will rely on friends , neighbours and volunteers from the community hub if necessary. It all feels v unreal !

Ds(13) has to be shielded. However, we have 5 dc, 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, so the whole house is now under isolation for 12 weeks.
Noone in, noone out. Its hell, the younger kids are struggling already, and DS's mental health has taken a battering.
Fuck knows how we're getting through this, but if ds catches it, he doesn't stand a chance, so get through it we must.

I live in a 2 bed house with my partner and 2 kids - only one bathroom. I’m high risk both kids are asthmatic. My partner works frontline nhs. We have no spare room or extra bathroom and someone has to look after the kids. Can’t get a shopping delivery slot for love nor money. If he’s not here helping us on his days off we’d have no food. Neighbours all in a worse state than us. I’ve no idea what to do. There’s no one to walk my dog if he lives somewhere else either as the dog walkers all stopped too.

I honestly don’t know what to do and have no one to ask for advice.

My elderly mother lives with my elderly dad . My mum received a letter although I would say for their age they are in excellent health. No carers. Both have been practicing good social distancing for more than 2 weeks.
It would be very bad for their well being for them to have to separate in their own home . I suggested that they "shield" themselves together with the 2 dogs in their quite large house and garden and we will make sure they get food etc for the duration, keeping in very regular daily contact.

This sounds the most sensible option to me , can anyone see any drawbacks with this approach?

The whole household has to stay in the house the whole time, surely? that's what people I know have been advised.

I’m in the shielded group. Have had text messages but no letter yet. I’m also a single parent. I’m working from home, 2 primary aged Dc are obviously off school and my Dd aged 21 is a nursery nurse. Luckily her nursery closed Friday so she’s also at home so we’re all isolating together for the 12 weeks. Don’t know how we’d manage if she was still at work, my sympathies go out to you all having to deal with the logistics of this x

I so wish I could do that linky thing that others can do.

The whole household doesn't need to shield, if 1 person in the house has to, according to the official document Guidance on shielding and protecting people, defined on medical grounds as
extremely vulnerable, from Covid 19.
It says they don't have to do it but should support the person in their efforts and stringently practice social distancing.
They outline the measures they advise you take but everyone's circumstances are different.
IMHO, it's about doing the most that you realistically can, to keep yourself as safe as you can be and minimise risk.

Fellow shielder here.

The whole household has to stay in the house the whole time, surely? that's what people I know have been advised

They’ve been misinformed the guidance is here www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19

As an NHS nurse I’m finding this very hard.

Are any of you key workers who have received the shielding letter? Waiting to see if DP gets the letter as his inhalers are on the Asthma UK list but his work are staying open (food production) and he can't WFH so not sure where this would leave us financially. We're definitely not able to claim UC due to my salary but will he get sick pay? The advice online doesn't seem to fit our exact situation

I'm a carer for my son who is "high risk." We got a call from the nurse at our GP, no letter yet. The nurse advised the whole family to isolate for 12 weeks. I'm a key worker and the job cant be done from home. My employer is a small company and dont have option for furlough so I'm having to take 12 weeks unpaid leave. If the government guidance extends this time, I'll probably have to resign.

Oh god @Starshine55, that's exactly what I'm worried about for us - extended unpaid leave. We just can't afford that with a baby on the way, I'd probably have to cancel my maternity leave . I hope you and your son will be ok.

WutheringShites86 I feel your pain. Initially my employer told me that there wasnt really any guidance on this that the HR department could look into as the person in the high risk category was my son and not me and so I wouldn't fit into the category of having sick pay. Which left me with, either going into work and isolating myself from my son (impossible, as I provide personal care for him) or to take unpaid leave. I think because it's all so new, a lot of employers wont know or understand what it means to be a carer or a family member of someone who is a high risk.
I'm gutted really because I had recently started this job and was very happy there

That’s crap @Starshine55 there is guidance [[What should you do if you have someone else living with you?
Whilst the rest of your household are not required to adopt these protective shielding measures for themselves, we would expect them to do what they can to support you in shielding and to stringently follow guidance on social distancing]] here which states that

Whilst the rest of your household are not required to adopt these protective shielding measures for themselves, we would expect them to do what they can to support you in shielding and to stringently follow guidance on social distancing

There's plenty of guidance in the long letter that comes after the text/email.

We are in this position as my DH has lymphoma. No children at home anymore thank goodness, although we'll miss them.

He stays at home. His doctor said when we rang that he could go out for a walk (well away from people and not touching anything) but we live in Central London and have decided to not do that for now.

I'm WFH but have to go out for essentials like food (and a quiet walk every day). We are just very careful to absolutely minimise the chances of me bringing it home. Good handwashing. A shower if I've been anywhere busy.

My very elderly parents are a couple of hundred miles away and in the same position. Trying not to think of that continually and support from here, as I don't want to take it to them either.

This is all the best we can do.

My mum received a liver transplant a few years ago and is therefore in the shielding group. Currently my dad is shielding with her (he isn't in the group but obviously wants to minimise risk) and myself and my brother are dropping off shopping as delivery slots are like hens teeth round here at the moment, I'm adding their order to slots I booked in advance weeks ago.

So far they have received no letter about shielding, they got the text message that everyone else did but nothing else. She's rang her GP and they said that they'd 'chase it up' but weren't very forthcoming with any further information.

Really not sure what we can do at this point.

OP I’m in the same situation. DH has to sleep/live in the spare room. It’s a nightmare. I can’t WFH and work can’t furlough me.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19

Quaverqueen the quote you pasted is on the understanding that you can follow social distancing. Difficult when you have to go out to work and shop for food.

Starshine55 is furlough an option?

QuaverQueen the quote you pasted is on the understanding that you can follow social distancing. Difficult when you have to go out to work and shop for food

Tell me about it @Itallgoingpetetong, I’m an NHS nurse, I haven’t been in the same room as DH for I don’t know long