Childcare WWYD

[Blueroses99]

My parents usually look after DD(3) full time apart from when she is at nursery which is 2 half days, either at our house or theirs, about 5 minute drive away. DD was last in nursery on 13th March. DH and I are now working from home, my last day in the office was 12th and DH was 16th. We work in London so have been commuting until now. DD has respiratory issues so is vulnerable, and DM and DF are also high risk. Last week they looked after DD at their house every day until Thursday, and she’s been with me and DH since. We have all been self isolating since Tuesday in that we haven’t been out of the house except to go to the other house, and hadn’t had any face to face contact with anyone in the outside world (no shopping, only deliveries).

This week do we:

1. Let DD be looked after at their house as per last week.
2. Let DD be looked after at our house (DH and I are WFH)
3. Not let parents look after DD and look after her ourselves

None of us have any symptoms. I keep changing my mind between thinking a) if any of us are carriers, we’ve spread it already as we’ve been seeing each other all week, and b) we haven’t passed 14 days since we locked down so it isn’t safe.

We could manage without parents for childcare, but they enjoy it. I just want to do the right thing for everyone as I don’t want my parents or my child to be infected as I worry how much they would suffer. Please be kind. WWYD?

That’s very simple.

3
It’s not difficult.
Keep your distance from people you don’t actually have to share a house with.

3

Definitely 3 - she shouldn’t be with potentially vulnerable grandparents at all.

1. Could you not work in alternate shifts between you?

3

You shouldnt even have to ask the advice has been clear for days

the message is just not getting through is it?? Ffs!

If they're high risk they can't be in great health? How old are they?

Technically 3, but are you not going to see your parents at all for the forseeable? There's little point doing 3 yet still visiting.

3

Ok thanks for the replies. I was wondering if it was possible to self-isolate but across 2 households rather than one. None of us are seeing anyone else or going out. DD is high risk as I said before. Parents are in their 60s. No I wouldn’t do 3 and visit.

1. For a few weeks at least

It is possible to self isolate across two households and would work fine as long as everyone has been in isolation for two weeks, which you haven't at the moment.

So two weeks from when you last went out (or three to be on the safe side) if everyone is symptom free you can blend households. Not at the moment though because you/DH could be carrying it.

Can one of you work during the early mornings/evenings? What do you both do?

I’m sure we could work in shifts with a bit of planning. As we live in each other’s pockets we were thinking of ourselves as one household.

3 for childcare option.
You also do their shopping and leave it on their doorstep to protect them.

There really is no need for any consideration. The above is what you do.

I’m not doing any shopping as my DD is vulnerable but I can arrange deliveries.

I’ve got the message loud and clear!

I hope we can blend households safely at some point in the future though if we all stay self isolating.

How are you self isolating if you mix with others??
Stay home.

Even if your DD has respiratory issues the stats suggest she is still at much, much lower risk than your parents.

You can both self isolate but you can't cut yourself off completely - you'll need to take food deliveries, you'll still get post, you could even be incubating the virus right now and not yet have passed it on - London is full of it. So by blending families you are increasing that risk for your parents, albeit small.

We are washing every item of food, not touching post or deliveries for a day or more, not going into shops etc and I still wouldn't risk mingling with my high risk parents.

Do they have a front garden?

Perhaps you can chat to them through the window.

3

I’m struggling with a childcare issue too. Daughter not going to nursery anymore, usually splits nursery and grandparents. Late 60’s, no health conditions. I’m exclusively wfh, dh working few days in the office few days at home.

Grandparents still happy to have them, after much discussion with them.

Are we being irresponsible? They are adamant they aren’t in a vulnerable group.

Of course you are.