How to deal with friends claiming to be 'key workers'

[McDougal]

Just as the title says, really. I know a lot of admin staff in the NHS. A lot support inpatient services and have a real impact on keeping things moving. Others are PAs to managers who will be making decisions impacting upon patient care, but could do this themselves without a PA forwarding this communication on their behalf.

How do you deal with this? One friend is continuing to take her child to nursery as she's a 'key worker' when her husband is temporarily at home as his job has come to a standstill and I'm struggling to be sympathetic.

Uhm, no Derbygerbil. She is a key worker, therefore her children can be in school. This is the point, which I did not miss.

Why would you be dealing with it?

I agree with you in principle OP but I think you chose the wrong example unfortunately - a PA in a hospital definitely IS a key worker.
The issue is people thinking that being a key worker and therefore sending your kids to school is a perk, so wanting to take advantage of it when they dont need to.
For example my friend who is a nurse and has just started maternity leave (at 34 weeks) still sending her 6 year old to school. She could be staying at home with her mum.
Or a friend whose husband is a key worker but she is a SAHM still sending her child to preschool.
Or a friend who works evenings in a shop but is at home during the day, still sending 11 year old in to school.

I work for the DWP in an admin role and wouldn’t have said I was a key worker but we have all been issued with a letter to give to schools to say that we are key workers. I would imagine many employers are doing the same.

I have no choice but to now go into work. And I would really rather be at home with my children.

In fairness I think they will be moving our department onto UC payments so we will be key workers then. Knowing how slow they are at implementing any changes I imagine the whole crisis will be over by the time we are able to support with payments.

By the time we had been issued with the letter it was past the deadline to inform the school that I am a key worker.

I do have some family able to help with childcare and if needed I will reduce my hours so that my children can stay at home.

I also blame the government guidance for being so open to interpretation.

I will be angry if when I go to work on Monday we are not actually auctioning UC payments and I will be challenging management. Because I strongly believe that we all need to be social distancing as much as possible and those who are working need to be in essential roles.

Not sure if someone's mentioned this but all admin key workers are being redeployed if their current role is deemed non essential at this time, so even if her job wasn't key, chances are it is now.

Lot a responses and won't reply to all individually but I did address some of the questions in posts last night.

Just to reiterate, my friend is incredible at her job. I posted this in relation to texts from her saying she would have nothing to do but would still send her child to school and her husband will remain at home for the foreseeable, not working as his role cannot be done at home.

NHS are essential and, obviously, even more so in a pandemic.

I'd be interested to know if some would have responded in the same way had I said my friend worked for another organisation? There's a lot of anger that I'm not valuing an NHS worker, but no doubt there'll be a lot of people interpreting the guidance differently, from all kinds of organisations, so they can send their children in which is my main issue.

Hannah021 - to call me a 'housewife on benefits' was rude and unnecessary. Even using that as an insult (which I assume you meant it as) was uncalled for.

As mentioned up thread, I work for local government. I do hope this pleases you and you stop being so personal in your posts.

What she does is totally a relevant - she is a key worker and working in a hospital and no matter what the role will be working for every penny. The Issue is, her husband is at home and I would absolutely question that as anybody sending their children in to school unless they absolutely have to, is incredibly stupid and selfish.

Schools should only be open for DCs who have 2 parents who are key workers.

The rest need to parent their children, lazy sods.

There is a grey area here (which doesn’t apply to the OP’s friend by the sound of it, but just throwing it out there). What if the non key-worker parent is at risk of losing their job if the childcare stops them from being available to do it? As a pp said, some people can work from home but not while simultaneously caring for very young kids. Are you saying that people who have an option should voluntarily give up their incomes in order to reduce the number of kids in school (and therefore reduce transmission rates)? I am not saying yes or no to this, but it is a very real part of the decision-making process for many.

I'm an NHS Social worker. Still working very hard. WE have been told that everyone in the organisation, everyone, clinical and non-clinical may be redeployed anywhere in the organisation to do anything. With hotels provided if we can't get there. That's where we are so yes, some jobs don't seem vital but they may at any point.

My DH is a key worker and people don't believe me because he's not NHS or emergency services or teaching.

He's still going to work. I'm not and DD doesn't get a school place because I can work from home although the local authority haven't confirmed to any parents yet who gets a school space or not.

As far as I'm aware, that's not an essential service

"As far as I'm aware" is the key phrase there. You have no real idea what their job entails during normal times, let alone what it is now. Unsurprisingly, there are an awful lot of NHS staff who are currently off sick or self-isolating and the remaining staff are having to cover. Your friend may have thought she would have nothing to do on a particular day, but I suspect she found the reverse on going in to work.

Why do you need to "deal with" it? Does it actually impinge on your life?

Is a NHS PA support staff?
They definitely need to go in, why do you think they're not needed?

Again, my post was in response to texts from her saying she would have to go in but would have noting to do. Of course, this could be very different when she arrives tomorrow but that was where my post came from, not an assumption.

I worked in the NHS for 11 years and know how important admin staff so please don't think this is a post specifically aimed at them. It was in response to a flippant text from a friend saying she would make use of her child's nursery setting when it didn't appear to be essential due to both her comments and her husband being at home.

Have you asked her why her DH can't look after the DC then?

It's not a 'perk' OP.

Having to put ourselves and our families at real risk whilst everyone else is told to stay at home is really, really NOT a 'perk'.

I agree if her kids can stay home with the dad they should be. I can see why you’re annoyed at that.
In regards to being a key worker...She will be redeployed within the nhs as this all unfolds to do whatever is needed so that’s why all nhs staff are classed as key. I’m a Speech and language therapist which you wouldn’t think was key either but our team are all being redeployed to local hospitals etc.

My partner teaches kids with autism in a specialist school so will be staying open and working through school holidays too. I am able to work from home so will be at home with 3 children between ages of 15 and 5. We will manage however my partner is concerned he will get the virus and pass it on to all of us including his son who lives mainly with his mother but will also continue to be visiting us - can’t just cut contact with 1 child whilst the others including his 2 step children have him in their lives. I also need to be able to go shopping for my 87yr grandmother and drive her shopping 15miles to her. On a good day she can only get to a small corner shop herself and can’t risk not being able to get her a delivery slot which will bring her essentials.

My partner has respect for keyworkers who are doing their bit to work through this but if anyone is able to keep their child at home please do because it’s unnecessary and risky to send your child to school and defeat point of socially distancing.

If there is a parent at home or even a sibling/ someone else to do childcare, then children should stay at home unless there is a very good reason not to.

The less points of contact, the better.

All NHS staff are needed right now. Many staff in 'admin' or other non-clinical roles are doing essential things to help (like ordering necessary equipment, phoning relatives, arranging transport to get patients to more suitable facilities etc). The admin staff being in frees us clinical staff to get on with clinical jobs. However, in the case of your friend if her husband is home really he should have their DC.

In our school, both parents had to be keyworkers to get a place. I'm an inpatient nurse so obviously counted as a keyworker, and DH also counted as a keyworker because he works as an NHS IT engineer to keep all the clinical IT systems working, and so his job is still very much needed even though it's not 'frontline'. I do think age of children makes a difference to. Our DDs are 5 (and autistic) and 3, so although technically DH can work from home, in reality he would struggle to get much done whilst the kids are home and need constantly supervising. I'm a bit about the number of secondary school children still going in to the local secondary school though. Surely once kids are over about 12 / 13 and don't have any special needs etc, they should be fine to be on their own for a few hours?

My husband is a key worker and my kids are staying home. I’m just thankful I don’t need to use the service and exposing my children.

they're still taking advantage of the 'key worker from the NHS perk' of sending kids to school/nursery.

I get where you're coming from, OP. Whether or not people are key workers is almost a separate issue; so many people are treating the emergency school provision as something to which they should be entitled rather than thinking about whether it's something that they actually need.

We're in a privileged position where our DS has a parent who is very much a (part-time) key worker in the NHS and a parent who isn't a key worker, but who also works part-time and very flexibly from home (work can be done in the evenings if need be).

We could apply for him to stay in school, but we honestly can't see why ever we would want to. It won't be normal learning in the usual routine - it is just childcare and won't be particularly fun or educational for the kids. As 'normal' school is suspended, he will be looked after at home as, in our circumstances, we absolutely do not need childcare. We're looking forward to having more time in the day to be able to spend with him.

Why would people consider applying for emergency childcare when they patently do not need it - any more than a fit and healthy person would apply for a blue badge or a well-off family would seek a referral to a food bank?

It IS everybody's business if the schools are being closed for the purpose of stemming the spreading of the virus and then people who have no need at all to do so are just sending them in anyway. It's the same principle as the panic buying - it's taking more of scarce resources for yourself than you need, regardless of what your own level of need actually is.

It's quite offensive, really, when there are parents who would dearly love to be able to stay at home to protect and look after their children (and themselves), but can't because they need to staff the hospitals and keep the food supply going, so they take that risk for everybody's benefit; and then there are people who will be at home anyway, not even needing to work, looking on and saying "Hey, I should get a bit of that 'privilege' too!" I wonder if some of them are the same ones who complain because wheelchair users get to park closer to buildings - the 'lucky' people.

OP I think some people are bending the policy on the key worker rule to suit their needs. I, like others and yourself would never say a word against the unbelievable work NHS staff are doing and the part of your post that stood out for me is the fact that her husband is at home. The rules are very clear on this - if a parent is available to look after their children at home, then they look after their child at home!

Huge assumption. They are likely to be redeployed into more urgent support roles , otherwise some clinics etc will continue to run for chronic and life limiting conditions.