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How to deal with friends claiming to be 'key workers'

335 replies

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:18

Just as the title says, really. I know a lot of admin staff in the NHS. A lot support inpatient services and have a real impact on keeping things moving. Others are PAs to managers who will be making decisions impacting upon patient care, but could do this themselves without a PA forwarding this communication on their behalf.

How do you deal with this? One friend is continuing to take her child to nursery as she's a 'key worker' when her husband is temporarily at home as his job has come to a standstill and I'm struggling to be sympathetic.

OP posts:
Igotthemheavyboobs · 21/03/2020 23:20

Just don't get involved.

copperheart · 21/03/2020 23:20

Why do you need to deal with this?

Letseatgrandma · 21/03/2020 23:21

It pisses me off no end too.

The ‘schools as childcare’ will just collapse -everyone will get ill.

ffswhatnext · 21/03/2020 23:22

So friend is a PA to someone in nhs?

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:23

I need to deal with this because I have friends who are texting, ranting about their difficult situation and, as much as I'd like to be a decent friend, I really disagree with what they're doing.

It's difficult because, as I understand it, if they don't work and aren't self isolating, they don't get paid but I disagree with sending children to school when it's not essential. They closed for a reason.

OP posts:
McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:25

Yes, ffs, it's the PAs that I'm struggling with. As far as I'm aware, that's not an essential service but they're still taking advantage of the 'key worker from the NHS perk' of sending kids to school/nursery.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 21/03/2020 23:25

But they won't be 'claiming' to be one. They either are or they're not.

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:26

That's the problem though, Edith. The government guidance is quite woolly and seemingly open to interpretation so the understanding of key worker varies from setting to setting.

OP posts:
minipie · 21/03/2020 23:28

I would say something like “I thought the rules are that if your child can be at home they should be?”

We need to call friends out on what they are doing.

BluePheasant · 21/03/2020 23:29

DH is meant to be in on Monday providing emergency childcare at his school. As of today we are in self isolation as he has suddenly developed a temperature as well as other viral type symptoms, fatigue, aches etc. We can't know but it seems likely he has CV. We have no choice but to self isolate. So that's another teacher down on top of the ones already unable to be there and we haven't even started yet. Schools are going to have to be very tough on which children they can take and any parents who are taking the piss with this should hang their heads in shame. It's all me me me in this country.

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:30

I've done so in a roundabout way, minipie. It's difficult. I don't want to piss off a friend but the situation pisses me off so I'm struggling to hold my tongue.

OP posts:
copperheart · 21/03/2020 23:31

If your friends are key workers then they are allowed to send their kids to school. nothing more needs to be said. move on.

ffswhatnext · 21/03/2020 23:32

The pa will be important though. They do more than just past notes onto other people within the hospital.

And whilst the managers are making the decisions how are they going to find the time to liaise with whoever? And then make any relevant follow ups?

OhLook · 21/03/2020 23:33

All NHS staff are keyworkers. They don't b get to decide if they are or aren't..

nopointinstaying · 21/03/2020 23:34

Nothing to do with you OP I'm afraid. Bite your tongue, wind your neck in and give your head a wobble.

SinglePringle · 21/03/2020 23:35

A consultant needs - especially at this time when they could be pulled from pillar to post - to be able to focus on medicine and treating patients. If they need a PA to organise their admin on order for that to happen, then the PA is fine to be at work.

Some Key Workers need their support team.

SwedishEdith · 21/03/2020 23:35

Anyone who has been designated as a key worker will have been told that they are. Someone making important decisions atm absolutely needs their PA.

ffswhatnext · 21/03/2020 23:36

Next someone will come along and ask why do they need so many in the surgical theatre. Too many cleaners. The porters surplus to requirement, the HCA’s can push patients surely? (And yea I know they do. I have had some fabulous staff take me onto wards).

BluePheasant · 21/03/2020 23:36

She is a key worker yes. But it's the fact that her husband is working from home and can have the children that is the issue. Therefore they shouldn't qualify for a place.

ChickLitLover · 21/03/2020 23:36

My OH could say he’s a key worker from the list issued. In reality, he’s not. It’s quite common.

I’m not sure anything you say will make any difference but I couldn’t be friends with someone taking the piss of the system. They wouldn’t be my sort of person. Teachers are working hard, putting themselves at risk enough to be in schools looking after other real keyworkers children. The less kids these teachers and other kids have contact with the better.

BacklashStarts · 21/03/2020 23:37

PAs do not just pass notes, the person they are working for will be at breaking point already. Removing their PA is like tying an arm behind their back.

browzingss · 21/03/2020 23:37

Why do you need to “deal” with it though? Frankly I’m confused as to why that would even bother you?

I work as an analyst at a major bank, I’m also considered a key worker, believe it or not - I’m sure you’re seething OPGrin I’m not abusing any “perks” or pretending I’m as important as medical professionals. In fact I’m lucky that I can work from home with full pay, but I’m still not going to judge NHS admin staff taking their children into school whilst they’re told they must go into work during this pandemic. How are you expecting your so-called-friends to obtain childcare, baring in mind social distancing guidance? It’s not like many people can even ask family for childcare if their relatives are older or have health issues rendering them vulnerable.

What do you think your friends should do instead?

If your friends are annoying you, just don’t reply or give a basic/boring reply and change the topic.

CaryStoppins · 21/03/2020 23:37

If they're currently doing something unimportant in the NHS they will quickly be redeployed to do something critical. Some admin staff are being redeployed to perform care roles on wards.

McDougal · 21/03/2020 23:37

I've quite recently been a PA and things are changing, especially in the NHS, with the expectation that managers do a lot more themselves.

In the current situation, managers are wfh so adding a PA in the mix is another level of bureaucracy that we can ill afford when it comes to liaising with relevant colleagues. My friend's particular role is very much minutes/diary management and fielding calls. The area she works in isn't frontline so the demand, if anything, has decreased so claiming free childcare seems even worse even though it is basically a means to her paying her bills (which is shit and I sympathise but kids should be at home if at all possible).

OP posts:
WhatTiggersDoBest · 21/03/2020 23:40

Anyone identified as a key worker isn't necessarily doing their normal job right now. A lot of people are getting seconded to areas with more need and are doing jobs normally out of their remit, longer hours and in high stress environment where there are a lot of staff absences from other workers having to self isolate for periods of time. If you don't see the value of your friend's occupation and don't understand why she hasn't just quit her job to meet with your approval instead of following the correct procedure, you don't sound like a very supportive friend TBH and I think you should find a new friend who you can get behind 100%. My sister's NHS admin and I think she's a hero for what she's doing behind the scenes.

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