To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

My DH is WFH and he's basically shut in his study for 8 hours a day. He's on on calls for long periods of time and is completely unable to do childcare or home schooling.

I very much doubt he spends 8 hours a day sat as his desk and doesnt do anything else all day but long calls.

These longs calls will need to be shorter, because people wfh are expected to look after their kids too. With kids 8 & 12, they can be set up and checked in on between calls. Your dp will normally have a lunch.

No one is saying its will be easy but its is doable with older kids.

How do you think single parents are going to cope, those that need to keep working.

YANBU. It's beyond selfish and I cannot fathom how parents can do it I really can't. I want dd where I can see her and would move heaven and earth to make that happen!

YANBU. I have 4 dc’s and this is not going to be easy. But I wouldn’t send them to school even if I could.

I don’t understand the parents who aren’t taking this seriously.

Oh and dd has an EHC so has a place but there's no way I'd use it.

My DH is WFH and he's basically shut in his study for 8 hours a day. He's on on calls for long periods of time and is completely unable to do childcare or home schooling.

How many deaths is worth his avoiding inconvenience do you think? Someone you know?

It’s harsh but it’s what we are looking at in three weeks.

Totally agree.

I'm speak all school and we have many many children who do need to attend or the families will be out into a crisis very quickly.

Those vulnerable children are kept at home. Others are also being kept at home.

Yet I also know many many people with kids in MS where 1 parent is SAHP and other is a keyworker. Examples of the keyworkers in my example are supermarket staff, delivery drivers and a nursery nurse.

They are sending their kids in because "they are entitled to".

Seriously people? Has this virus not taught us anything about entitlement and to be less selfish.

Every child that walks through the door is risking affecting up to 20/30/40 staff and maybe more children. Is that a risk you are willing to take due to an entitlement you don't need?

Every teacher and TA and admin I know is willing to be there to support you and your family.

But please don't put us at risk unnecessar.

I can really sympathise with what you're saying OP, but I also have some sympathy with people trying to WFH. My DH is WFH and he's basically shut in his study for 8 hours a day. He's on on calls for long periods of time and is completely unable to do childcare or home schooling. It's a good thing I'm a PT student and SAHP, because if I worked in a non-key worker role we'd in a right fucking mess with a 12 and 8 year old who will both need help and supervision to do home schooling.**

A 12 and an 8 year old don't need home schooling or constant supervision. If you were a frontline worker then your husband comes out of his study and does what is needed with them (assuming he is not a key worker also)

It's a NATIONAL EMERGENCY

Forget educating the kids.

That can come later.

Completely agree. DH and I both have to work to pay the mortgage. We can both WAH but I agree it's completely impossible with small children (mine are 3, 5 and 7). My role involves lots of conference calls with people all round the world. I'm technically a critical worker but I'm not sending my children in.

We're splitting the day: 6-12 and 12-6, with more work in the evenings, so that one of us can be with the children and allow the other one to work. We're going to have to be flexible and swap around a bit to accommodate critical calls but my team is also rallying round to help out - doesn't matter who does the work so long as it gets done. Some of the parents at work are working around each other: so if I'm working in the afternoon I'll informally pair with a colleague who's working in the morning to make sure that we have full coverage. It's a complete change to how we work, but these are unprecedented times!

@barnabybenny it was a decision made following conversations between me, her support worker, the school and my youngest's nursery. It's a safeguarding issue for the youngest. It's Been a really fine balancing act of pros and cons but for now she is far better off in.

YANBU. Unfortunately I don't see how the rules can be more stringent without tightening the definition of a key worker.

I think the big issue is how many key workers are poorly paid. Nurses, carers etc. are often the lower wage earner. Society can't afford the lower paid worker not to work but the family can't afford the other wage earner not to. Perhaps government subsidies in this case would be the answer.... but that costs money.

Some schools will have far more key workers needing childcare than others.... probably decreasing in more affluent areas.

It has a knock on effect too. We have been told that anyone who can work has to work - which in turn means a number of our children are in different schools - and so on.

YANBU - if there is a parent at home then the kids should be at home../

My two will be going to school next week for 4 days (5th day my eldest can have them) because I'm a key worker. I'm a single parent and have no other childcare as their dad is self employed and for now his work is still going. It's shit and I'd rather they not be in school but I have no other choice.

our school are prioritising the vulnerable category over keyworkers

This is so wrong. NHS should be top of the list. Delivery drivers less so. Sometimes the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few.

Schools will go into meltdown if everyone who believe they are entitled to send their DCs does so.

Absolutely agree with you op. I know it’s hard for parents but social distancing is what we need to stop the spread. I think a lot of people hate me as it’s all I’ve been saying the last couple of days!! I’ve heard of so many people trying to take advantage of this system and it’s been getting me quite angry. I had to close my business the other day due to covid 19 but on the plus side I can now focus on my kids and family

YANBU I work In elderly care so could theoretically send mine in but they are JUST old enough to be left alone. So alone they will be not for a full day but still it’s better for them us and the schools.

@CappyCapCap and @MarshaBradyo It's not about inconveniencing him, it's that if he wasn't actually WFH he'd lose his job. And yes, he really is shut in his study all day. No way could he administer the full home schooling timetable that our DC's two schools require. But don't worry, I'm a SAHP so it's irrelevant. But if I worked for the NHS then our DC would have to go to school, despite him physically being here.

Working in finance is on the list, so technically they're both keyworkers. Sending her child in on her working days is fair enough I think.

Disagree. I'm in finance, but no one is going to live or die if I don't work, and no one will be unable to pay for food and drugs, therefore I'm not critical. Most finance jobs are not critical. People need to apply common sense here.

People will have to re-think what education is for their kids- school age children should be capable of entertaining themselves for an hour or two at a time. It's better they miss their education than go to school at the moment. Health is far for more important than maths and english right now! Let your children play- lego, a den, a train set, or whatever their favourites are, watch t.v., go on their iPad, do art etc.

YANBU.
Thank you for doing your bit.

@SarahInAccounts protecting vulnerable children is crucial.

If she’s better off in school risking the lives of those around her than with her non working parent donkey then quite frankly she needs removal full stop. And before that’s interpreted as a personal attack, I say it to every parent who is so ‘vulnerable’ they can’t adequately care for their child.

Teacher here too. Email your union for advice. I.did and they have sent us further guidance

I’m a key worker and will be in, doing more hours than ever, for the foreseeable. But my husband has just lost his job (hospitality) so will be staying home with my DC. Our school said two parents must be key workers, even though that isn’t the guidance, but I had no intention of challenging that and sending him in. He is safer at home and we will have to suck up the debt that will mount as a result over the next few months. There are posts on my local Facebook moaning about how to collect free school meals and why they have to walk to school every day to get them, and one moaning about schools shutting and grandparents having to have them. The sheer ignorance astounds me. As a social care/gov worker hearing a lot of the true facts and figures and seeing the disgraceful front line issues caused by family members of vulnerable people right now, I have lost all faith in the human race this week.

I think this will all change in a few days as the resentment towards those taking the Micky will build and although I’ve no doubt that teachers and other staff will show nothing but kindness and professionalism towards the unfortunate children of those exploiting the system, the resentment towards those parents from the media, staff and other kids will build and things will have to change. It’s just not fair to school/nursery staff and those who have no other option. I’m a single parent and nhs with literally no one who can help but would stay home in a heartbeat if I could.