To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

@CallMeAngelina the guidance says that we no longer have to teach the National Curriculum. We haven't been banned from teaching.

We decided that keeping as close to normality as possible would be better for the children who are in. We'll switch to Holiday Club mode in 2 weeks.

The younger children will be having phonics lessons very much as normal. The other morning lessons will be English and Maths based but will have to be more low key, largely because it won't be the same children in each day.

We're going to have a whole school theme each week. In a way it will be like going back to the 1970s style primary teaching that I remember from when I was a kid.

Less pressure on the children than now. Less pressure on the teachers in terms of the actual teaching (no in depth marking, no lesson observations, no asking why you haven't met your targets).

Poor kids

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

If the non key worker parent is self employed and has to loose work by looking after the children then unless the family can survive on the keyworker’s salary alone then the children need to be sent in. OR the government needs to include the self employed work force in the 80% salary scheme.

@1066vegan I think it's a really irresponsible decision to provide teaching in the way you describe. You're actively encouraging parents to use it when they don't have to because their children will be at an disadvantage if they don't.

For whichever poster said earlier that they are fed up with teachers moaning; most of us aren't.

I fact I'm currently switching between mumsnetting and keeping up to date on my school WhatsApp group where we are talking about thing like making videos of active challenges or telling stories and then uploading these to the school website, and other ways in which we can make those children stuck at home feel that they are still part of our school.

Also if they want to send their kids in because they cant be bothered to look after them then to be honest those children are probably better off being looked after by school than neglected at home.

You would think
However, lots of people who want ti send their kids because it makes life easier or better for them, are nowhere near the 'neglectful parenting'

That's a point, I wonder how many people who make it work at home, if they had the threat if being deemed to not be putting their children's health first.

Not saying SS should get involved, but if people were at risk of having g SS involved because they were putting their kids health at risk for no real reason, most of them would find a way to make it work.

Especially all these very important men who cant possibly do anything with their own kids.

Ok, I’m a keyworker (Hospital consultant), DH is not (sole trader). We have a two year old. We rely on DH’s salary to pay the bills as I usually only work part time.

This week, I have been working twelve hour days, five days a week. I worked from 8am to 2am yesterday, and am on the train back in again now. Hospital declared a major incident two weeks ago now.

If you want me to work 2-3x my usual hours, for free, for the next six months plus, then I need to no be distracted by wondering if we are going to lose our house. If that means DS goes to nursery for three half days a week (which is what we have been offered), and that means DH can do the bare minimum to keep his business afloat, then so be it. How terribly selfish of me to take the support that the government has offered me, specifically to allow me to devote myself to the NHS.

My DH is WFH but he’s a corporate dealing with distressed companies. He is rammed with work.

If he misses one call to do something with your toddler and deals with the company after the toddler is in bed, does anybody die?

By giving the kids formal education, you will make more parents want their kids in school

sally - I’m not sure that’s the test

Agree with that too cappy

There is definitely an assumption that schools are crammed with starving children roaming the cruel hard streets. It’s insulting to the people who may not earn much, who may claim benefits, but love and care for their children.

If you want me to work 2-3x my usual hours, for free, for the next six months plus, then I need to no be distracted by wondering if we are going to lose our house

We’re all fucking terrified of that. Given that you’re a medical professional who could presumably increase your hours, you’re very far from being the list vulnerable here.

If that means DS goes to nursery for three half days a week (which is what we have been offered), and that means DH can do the bare minimum to keep his business afloat,then so be it

My DH is also keeping his business afloat while minding children. It’s not ideal, you find a way. If you were in Ireland you wouldn’t have a choice as no childcare providers are open.

How terribly selfish of me to take the support that the government has offered me

Given that you’ve a medical background I am very surprised at the decisions you’re taking tbh.

Ok, I’m a keyworker (Hospital consultant), DH is not (sole trader). We have a two year old. We rely on DH’s salary to pay the bills as I usually only work part time.

Taking it on face value......your child absolutely must go to school.

So you cant be one of the people OP is talking about?

If you are not, how do you feel about people increasing the risk of infection to your child, you and your dp? Meaning you and do could potentially not be able to work. Your do losses his business. Because a few weeks out will bring you income to a halt?

I would imagine as a some trader his work will be greatly reduced anyway, so he can reduce how much your child goes in

@LisaSimpsonsbff we have made it very clear in letters and emails to parents and in the information on our website that children should stay at home if it is safe for them to do so and that the school is only open for children whose parents have no other choice. We are most definitely not encouraging parents to send children in. I know that we had a number of unhappy parents who were told they couldn't send their children in.

I anticipate a lot of the children coming in will be anxious, increasingly so as this goes on. We are just trying to do our best for those children.

YANBU
DH and I are both key workers. He is in the emergency services and I am a manager in residential care. We are doing what we can to work round each other so one of us is at home. We are also lucky that our older DS can can help out.
School places should only be taken by those who really need them.

This is entirely down to your schools lack of application of the rules, they are clearly set out. If one parent is at home so should the children be. It’s up to your school to enforce this - as clearly not all parents will.

I’m not sure that’s the test

I'm just highlighting that for many jobs, delaying something until the evening or the next day isn't vital.

People need to change the way they work. Especially if they work from home.

Christmascarcass

I've said all along that, if you have no other alternative, if school is your absolute last port of call, then you should send them in.

If you can say that, hand on heart, then this thread is not about you.

If not then yes I am afraid that your dp would fall into the category of someone sending a child to a childcare setting unnecessarily. As an NHS employee you must know what is required to ease the pressure on you and your colleagues.

Thank you for everything you are doing for us. Your dh - not you - may need to prepare a back up plan for when your nursery inevitably collapses though. Lots of ideas coming out of countries where everything is properly closed down.

If I were christmascarcass I’d be looking at upping my hours (surely hospital consultants are in high demand) while her husband’s business will take an inevitable hit.

I have upped my hours, as I mentioned I worked about 70 hours last week, and expect that to continue. Contracted for 24.

We do not get paid for these extra hours, as this is a major incident

So please fuck off with all the “you must have loads of money working all those hours” comments.

Advice in Scotland is different - both parents must be key workers to use schools. I’m a key worker, DH isn’t so DC are at home with him.

So please fuck off with all the “you must have loads of money working all those hours” comments.

In the slightly longer term though your financial prospects are very sound on a consultants salary. I’ve no idea if mine or my husbands industry’s will ever recover from this.

@ChristmasCarcass yet you havent addressed the other points.

People the OP is talking about will end up with you in a situation where one of you can not work.

So the NHS loses out, or you do as a family. Your dps business goes under.

If enough people in the NHS can not work because some people sent their kids needlessly, then we are fucked.

So your choice will be fuck everyone else and you not go to work. Or fuck your family, and your dps business goes under.

Surely in your position you would agree with OP.

And if your dp can not do his work, chances are his work is reduced. He can look after your child more.

My husband is a teacher and when he saw the list of keyworker jobs feared most kids would be in school but when they have asked for parents to let them know if they need to send their kids in they are now expecting 20 children (out of a school of 400).

Surely most people won't want to send their kids if they don't need to. They know they will be sending them to spend time with the children of medics and health care workers and these people will be at high risk of catching the virus and passing it on.

We won't be sending our child to school and will be muddling through but as a carer and a teacher we will be at high risk of working with people with the virus over time so are resolving to not see grandparents - where if we could all isolate at home and not mix in the community or for work we would be more confident that we had not been exposed and more likely to see them. My husband could potentially take my eldest to school with him but he will then be exposing him to children from different areas that may be carrying the virus - although we will be anyway one step removed via my husband of course.

I hope anyone deciding to send their children to school understands that they will be massively increasing the chances of them picking up the virus (although they may have no choice in this of course) and so understand that if they are working groups that are contagious and/or their child is going to school they must isolate outside of school and work e.g. grandparents very strictly.

Unfortunately winter as this thread shows, I’m afraid that they do.