To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

So it's OK for delivery and supermarket staff to risk their health.... But not the dear teachers? OK mumsnet.

Firstly delivery workers have steps in place to minimise their risk.

This is what's this is about minimising risk to teachers and other children that absolutely must be there. Therefore minimising the risk to the rest of the population.

Funny how people are so wrapped up in the 'I am entitled to free child care'they will wrapped themselves up to have a go at anyone who challenges it.

I work in the nursery that my DS goes to, so we are automatically entitled to a space. He could stay at home with my DH, however he is on LTS as he's recovering from his 2nd case of pneumonia in as many months. He isn't always physically up to caring for a demanding 15 month old who is cutting 3 new teeth. I am grateful to still have a job but also grateful to those who are keeping their kids off for all of us. It's tough 😞

@Dawnofanewmillenium you must be a troll. How can you as a teacher not be aware of child abuse or the role of schools to safeguard vulnerable children.

If you are genuine, you must be an older teacher (60s) who is set in their way or you are an narassicist.

Teachers have to play their role. I know a lot of you are pissed you have to come out one or two days a week to look after vulnerable children and key workers kids but boo bloody hoo.

I live in a rural area. Most vets, including mine, do a lot of farm work, so perform an important role in maintaining herd health which in turn protects food supplies and the financial viability of farms. Yes. Anyway we will just plough on as usual. We've got to look after animals.
I don't think that one arsey small animal vet is a problem. Consultations can be done over the phone and medicine can be left outside the door for pick up. However caesarians still need to be done as well as other surgical procedures.
Our Quality Meat Scotland inspector cancelled this week. That is an example of a non key worker.

YANBU. DP is a research scientist and has volunteered to make test kits for Covid-19. I work for a medical device manufacturer in a head office role. We could technically send the kids to school but I’m WFH so it’s not necessary. It’s not going to be easy or fun to juggle homeschooling and trying to get work done but needs must.

People playing the system need to take a look at themselves.

A husband who is WFH and doesn't want to be disturbed is not someone who needs emergency childcare.

Agree 100% with this.

This crisis is really showing people for who they truly are. Too many are just fucking selfish. The social distancing rules are there to stop the nhs going in to crisis mode. That means work from home, keep your kids at home if you safely can. We've already had hospitals declaring critical incidents and people still don't give a fuck.

YABU to think a parent could work full time from home and look after children under ten.

It’s really fucking difficult, yes. But needs must and people have to find a way. I have 2 under five in the house.

What an unpleasant thread. I agree with the OP but of course it's taking time for people to get their heads around the seriousness of this and the changes required. Also, the advice is changing daily. That doesn't make everyone a total prick.

The list is long for key workers and if you don't work in a school you have no idea how many kids are coming or not. Threads like this are great because they raise awareness. A little less vitriol might help the message get across faster.

I am a NHs world I am so upset I have to take my young children to the hospital nursery. I don’t mind being exposed myself as I am professional and trained . It breaks my heart my kids have to go into the germ pot of the school nursery though with kids from high risk workers altogether I really want to keep them at home but don’t have any other choice.

Ha ha ha. Of course I am not a troll, and I am in my 30s.

What I am saying is simple. It is not the role of school to ‘safeguard vulnerable children’ - that is a catch all and meaningless phrase.

Why? Because put simply, people don’t only abuse children between the hours of 9 and 3. Schools can and do and should record safeguarding concerns and pass these on. But given that children only start school at 4, given that there is no legal need to send them to school at all, given that schools close evenings, weekends and for sizeable chunks of the year, sending children to school does not stop child abuse - and you know it.

@Giganticshark - I haven't heard a single school worker complaining about working to help the genuinely desperate key workers - they are complaining about babysitting for parents that refuse to make any sacrifice for their children and working so that others can still do their non-essential jobs!

Nhs worker I meant and hospital nursery!

Incidentally uk I’m in 5 days a week, normal working times. So are all my colleagues. I’m at risk. And I’m upset and I’m angry about this.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant

You and your DH are awesome. Thank you so much!!!

"Asking genuine question here for teachers. If coronavirus wasn't happening, you would be working in school as normal, being paid. You will still be working in school as normal albeit under slightly different circumstances. I don't understand the problem in that respect, in that you will still be doing the same job but just with a different configuration of kids from other classes/years."

Well we're not working our normal hours because we're working through the holidays, but that's not the point.

We don't mind being in work. We are proud to be looking after children of keyworkers and vulnerable children. We are happy to play our part. But we are concerned that high numbers of children who are unnecessarily attending will dilute the effectiveness of social distancing.

I spent all of yesterday calling parents and repeating the government’s statement that children who can be kept at home should be, that the numbers needed to be kept low to reduce the spread of the virus, and then asking in light of this if they still wanted childcare. Many said they no longer required it. We also rang employers to verify key workers and their working hours (although we know our families well so often were fully aware if they were key workers). We will probably have 10-15% in on Monday but I think the number will fall as parents realise the risks of sending children in, many just don’t get it.
I even had one sahm mum ask if her child could come in for an hour a day during the closure, just to see his friends!

It is not the role of school to ‘safeguard vulnerable children’

Yes it is. You cannot be real, unbelievable. You see these kids every single day and you don't believe you play a big role in protecting children?

So it's OK for delivery and supermarket staff to risk their health.... But not the dear teachers? OK mumsnet.
If you don't want to be in school then isolate. So easy

Supermarket workers and delivery drivers can practice social distancing. I had an email from the sainsbury's CEO asking the public to maintain distances from colleagues while shopping.

This isn't possible in a small room with multiple children, all handling the same books, pencils, times etc.

Surely you can see the difference?

And if all teachers took your attitude and just self-isolated, what would happen for those key staff who need the childcare? We're doing our bit so others can do theirs.

What we object to is people who don't need to sending their kids in like everything is normal.

It’s interesting to see that this pandemic has highlighted so many societal flaws that have been glossed over or even celebrated at times over the last few decades.

The health and wellbeing of cleaners, nurses, doctors, teachers, shop workers, delivery drivers is actually more important than mr Smyth-Jones clawing up the corporate ladder largely through pointless egotistical posturing

Looking after your family has to take priority over everything including submitting a spreadsheet at an arbitrary deadline when no one will actually die if it happens 24 hours later.

The wellbeing and needs of a whole society take precedence over an individuals wants

Rights do not come without responsibility-if you choose to have kids, they are your responsibility first and foremost. Yes ordinarily people might help out, but this is not a right, it’s a privilege. Sometimes privileges are taken away. You then need to make compromises which might mean life changes, you might not reach your previous goals. Do not confuse privileges with basic rights.

People actually need to take responsibility and make good decisions themselves based on evaluating all evidence, don’t go through life expecting government, your boss, a love island contestant to spoon feed you on how to responsibly live your life.

We are encouraged to have predictable, pigeon holed lives, we are conditioned to fear change from our times as babies, having schedules rather than going with the flow when actually the only certain thing in life is change. When it happens now many people can’t cope because all they have learnt from the cradle is how to manipulate the world around them to make things predictable and stable. They haven’t learned how to mentally cope with change, it’s worth dying or causing other people to die to keep things the same as before. It’s why you see people standing in supermarkets bemoaning the fact there is no food, when actually there is, just not their favourite brand of chips (I actually witnessed some oaps who clearly should be self isolating do this yesterday then say they would try somewhere else today).

People need to understand we are at war. If there was a risk you or or child would get shot in the head if you walked out that door like in traditional war zones would you still be focusing on conference calls without interruption? Would you still send your kid to school because you can’t type with the noise of a child playing? Remember needless (and I mean need rather than want or convenience) social interaction could cause someone to needlessly die. Even if you are still of the stupid persuasion - well it won’t affect me, it’s just a mild illness to young healthy people, what if your kid gets run over on the way to school, gets taken to hospital after a long delay,there’s no doctors to treat him and no ventilators to keep him alive because stupid selfish people thought completing a spreadsheet in peace and quiet was more important than trying to keep this virus at a more manageable level!

YANBU

Technically I'm a key worker, supply chain and they're redeploying us to work in supermarkets (I'm not employed by a supermarket) for free to the supermarket to support.

My DH is WFH so the kids stay home. No discussion.

If he can manage it I'm sure all you're "incredibly important husband's" can too.

I've been off work ill this week, and I've seen him working from home. Laptop on, taking call after call, but it's not fucking 8 hours locked in a room. He washed our cars with his earphones in so he could keep taking calls from the lads on sites.

When the kids are getting loud, he'll throw them into the garden for "PE".

We need to work together on this, not palm our kids off cause it's easier for the higher earner.

I'm nhs and won't be sending mine in, I think there's too much risk. My daughter is asthmatic, and the schools will have a collection of mainly frontline facing staffs children.

Do I take them home with me? No

Do they stay with me at weekends and holidays? No

Did they stay with me before their fifth birthday? No

What makes you think children are only abused during school hours, ukgift?

Well said Life

YANBU

Due to my employer I have a letter stating I am a key worker. But we have been told to only send children to school if we have no other option. And in my current role I don’t consider this necessary (and neither does my manager). So my children will be staying home.

If I am re-directed to work that is essential to keeping the service my employer provides in operation (and that service is essential) then I might do, but even then first resort would be for my husband to look after them full time (currently we plan to share).

I agree with the OP but of course it's taking time for people to get their heads around the seriousness of this and the changes required

We dont have time for people to get their head round it.

Just follow whats been said. Do not send you kids unless you absolutely have to.

It being difficult to work from him is not a reason to send the kids. Especially older kids.

If we wait for people to get their heads round it, teachers and child care settings will be closed because too many are sick.

Then how do medical staff work?