To resent parents who are still sending their kids to school on Monday

[letmeinthroughyourwindow]

Not the genuine cases, obviously.

But I'm a teacher and we will be opening for the duration because 40% of our pupils have at least one parent who is a keyworker.

Before the list was released, the government told us to expect 10% and we planned accordingly. In fact, we planned for 20%.

When the list was released, it was so broad that far more parents than we ever expected fell into one of the categories.

Now, if your need is genuine then of course I want to care for your child. I'm happy to do it, and proud that doing so keeps you working.

But we have so many parents who are allowed to send their child to school, but shouldn't be, that it's infuriating me.

If you are a keyworker but your partner is a stay-at-home parent should you be sending them in?

If you are a keyworker but your partner works from home or is allowed to work from home indefinitely, should you be sending them in?

My sister's employer is allowing all employees who are parents to work from home on full pay, but many are saying that they don't need to, because their partner is a keyworker so their kids can still go to school

Just because you can send them, doesn't mean you should. It shouldn't be the best or easiest option for you, it should be a last resort if there is nowhere else to keep them safe.

The number one, most critical piece of advice for keyworker parents is, 'if it is at all possible for children to be kept at home then they should be.'

Please don't think I'm lazy and cba babysitting these children. I cried when my class went home yesterday, and care about every child in school. If I am in work full time anyway, then it really doesn't matter how many children are in the classroom.

But so many people don't understand social distancing. They are walking around like they are immortal, or only thinking that they themselves will probably be ok if they get it. For social distancing to have the desired effect, then everyone who can be at home, should be. If there was a chance of your child dying from this, would you send them to school? Well then think about who might die because they came into contact with your child.

And all of this brought on by a friend who called me last night to say that she is thrilled to be able to send her child to school on Monday because she is a deliveroo driver, even though her unemployed bf will be home all day on the PlayStation.

DonkeyKong2019 the responsible person looking after your child should be you. If a TA has to go in to specifically look after your child and you are at home then that role should be yours. They’re putting themselves at risk whilst you’re at home!

*NeverGotMyPuppy’ just don’t. I can’t even. You’re not in a classroom, entertain your child at home and do what you can, I agree with the pp who said you’re an embarrassment to the profession. I’m doing the same with TWO children, suck it up.

This thread is infuriating. This country appears to be full of entitled snowflakes who are willing to make other people take responsibility for them. Thank god for the selfless people who are actually trying to make things work.

I’m so glad to see we’re having this discussion. I’m currently in a sort of shock that the special school where I work is open. And deep sadness and fear for the children of the parents choosing to send them in.

Its going to break soon, causing so much damage over this next couple of weeks while everyone tries their best. and then the choice won’t be there anyway.

DDs school are keeping the number low and required evidence that you are a key worker and essential.

Priority places were given to vulnerable and EHCP students first, NHS staff, teachers needed at their own schools. Any leftover spaces then given to other keyworkers we had to fill in a booking form a week in advance and have the option of just mornings, afternoons or all day.

People won't grasp it until the teachers die

This ^

The men who can’t cope 🙄 What has happened to society?

I am amused by the number of conference calls and meetings with kids on knees and laptops suddenly looking at the ceiling. We’re all making the best of it. Normal rules don’t count right now.

I don’t understand why any parent would want to have their child in school. Surely these are the children who are more at risk of getting infected because their parents are more likely to bring it home to them or catching it through social contact at school.

It should be an absolute last resort! Employers need to be forced to stop unreasonable requests of parents not looking after children and wfh, these are not normal times.

YANBU for most of your post but YABU to think a parent could work full time from home and look after children under ten.

slacker- your DH could take unpaid leave! This is the problem and why schools are still full- nobody is prepared to make financial sacrifices.

But genuinely why can’t you @SlackerMum1? I’m sorry you’re upset.

She’s a lot safer at home with you - yes she may end up watching CBeebies on repeat but if you’re at home she doesn’t have to go to a nursery.

Where is your DH working? If it’s at home then you need to juggle and so does he.

No one needs to take unpaid leave - these are not normal times.

DS school (in Scotland if that makes a difference) has taken a much stricter view on key worker and it's for NHS staff/teachers/early years staff only. And even then it's only if there is no other alternative. My neighbour is still sending her son even though the DH is working from home. Apparently he couldn't possibly do that with one 5 year old in the house

Well first and foremost, Jane, most parents are able to parent their children.

Yes, I know. Shocking, isn’t it? But it’s true. Most children survive in the care of their parents from birth until they are school age.

Then there are holidays, when once again, it is expected that parents will either care for their children themselves, or make arrangements for them to be cared for. The majority of adults are ordinary people who love their children and will make sure they have food during this time.

For the minority who can’t or won’t, bluntly, I think there is nothing magical about 9-3. This is the problem with schools generally. Someone is a shit parent? Try to get them to spend as little time as possible with their parent and then all will be OK. I don’t agree with this. I never have.

If they are at risk, they need to be in care. If they aren’t at risk, butt out and let the parents get on with it.

My partner is a keyworker and I am not but have to work from home. I definitely won't be sending my LG to nursery I'd feel far too guilty. It isn't going to be easy working from home and looking after a 2 year old but I see no other option.

This is just a typical example of selfish bastards thinking they are exceptional. They are easily identified by the words "I make no apologies for that".

If these entitled pseudo-adults actually grew up and took their responsibilities as seriously as their "rights", the country would currently look in far better shape than it is.

YANBU op. Struggle to WFH with kids around? Tough shit. It will be more of a struggle when you are unable to work because you are ventilated as a result of the virus being brought home by your kids being around the children of those on the front line.

itsgettingweird so you’re telling me those children never go home, they never have a holiday, they never spend more than an hour with their parent?

If that is what you’re saying, then absolutely, I presume they are kept in some kind of residential facility.

If NOT, then the parent can cope. Easily, no, but cope they must.

And I accept as a result of that we will be exposed in this house. But apparently I’m a proper cunt and should just parent properly and organise myself to work around DD....

The county behaviour is forgetting that everyone else is at risk because of what you are doing.

Your dh absolutely cannot reduce his work or work from home. You absolutely can not work at home without your ds going ro nursery monday?

What about the rest of the week?

Do you think the rest of us (key worker here) who has had to set up 90% of our workforce at home, find it easy? That we are getting much of a break?

Putting others at risk, just isnt ok.

I'm a key worker but DH and I are able to wfh so keeping them both here even though it will make things much harder. Not worth the risk

So it's OK for delivery and supermarket staff to risk their health.... But not the dear teachers? OK mumsnet.
If you don't want to be in school then isolate. So easy

YANBU

@Aesopfable

YABU to think a parent could work full time from home and look after children under ten.

Yep it’s not ideal but it’s necessary. Any school age child can be managed in blocks of time to keep themselves amused. Especially once they are 6 or older.

Someone is a shit parent? Try to get them to spend as little time as possible with their parent and then all will be OK. I don’t agree with this. I never have.

Me either andbits going to bute us on the arse.

If you parent so badly the kids are at risk, if they can not go to school, the problem should have been sorted long ago

We have the same situation here, we could take DP’s children to us for the forseable but the other (keyworker) parent wouldn’t agree to it.

DS is in the vulnerable group so we either have them for the whole time or not at all as we cannot risk key worker bringing the virus to her kids and then passing on to DS.

It is likely both her kids will continue going to school even if there is no need because their keyworker parent doesn’t even want to pick up the bloody phone to discuss it.

Agreed cappy

I think there’s a fuck of a lot of smug hand wringing. Fact is, most people look after their kids just fine, thanks very much. They might not live up to your middle class ideals, but the kids are nonetheless FINE!

@Giganticshark - if your DS can look after himself for a few hours how old is he?

Ours made it very clear in red, bold and caps that you must only send them in if there is no other option, that it’s not proper school just childcare.
DH could technically fall under the list of key workers as his company help maintain a critical part in phone lines, and mobile phone networks.
But because I can work from home (not normally but work have let me bring my desktop pc home and sorted VPN access) it’s safer for the kids to stay home even if it’s going to be bedlam with 3 kids and working. I’d rather save the school places for those who have parents who can’t work from home as are saving lives or feeding the nation as well as the vulnerable kids who don’t have a safe home.
It’s selfish and is going to increase the chance of them getting and spreading the virus!

My daughters school is only open for NHS workers and these are single parents or both parents. They said they will add more but prioritising and seeing how this works.