I want to send a message to some posters and maybe lurkers who are worrying about their children’s childhoods and their own mental health.
I want to speak quite personally so I expect some people to think I’m talking rubbish. I don’t mean to offend, this is about how I’m coping.
It’s completely reasonable to feel grief and sadness for the way of life we are losing. I’m finding myself feeling quite tearful every so often and when there’s a step change of one sort or another it’s taking me about a day to process it. Most of the rest of the time I’m feeling positive, looking for silver linings and, in a very small way, trying to support extended family by phone.
My chief job is keeping home going for my 6 year old. He has SEN and last week, after years of battling we heard his EHCP had been agreed in principle. I wonder if it will ever be implemented.
Fortunately I have some difficult life experiences to draw on. If you have ever had severe illness, depression, faced your own death or lost a loved one you may have learned things which can help you now.
I know any contact with a loved one might turn out to be the last, usually I don’t dwell on this but generally if there’s a disagreement or if I don’t have enough time and energy to meet a high standard of eg daughterly perfection I check I with myself and consider whether I’m doing the best I can. If I am I think I can live with that.
This situation has sent me back to my spiritual practice and community. That’s a help for me.
I’m also using all my mathematical ability and lay medical knowledge to read and understand the current research and be as informed as possible.
I think of people in history or in fiction who have lived through really difficult times. I try to take comfort and inspiration from their stories.
I remember GoJetterGirl who lost her beloved son so very recently.
If I survive this I want to help in the rebuilding and recovery of our lives and happiness. If I am fortunate enough to be mildly ill and become immune I hope I can be of practical help. The truth is I’m at higher risk so I need to do all I can to avoid but that’s not guaranteed to work.
Sometimes leaders have arisen, people with feet of clay, who have been able to inspire or comfort people in very tough times. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela. Who is carrying a message of hope and service now? Can we support them? Can we follow their lead?
You are enough. You can find inner strength you didn’t know you had. You can be a wonderful role model for your children showing them how to face adversity, accept your own difficult feelings and find meaning in life.
What you are doing is making a difference. Take care 🌿
As a wise friend says, take what you like and leave the rest.