Coronavirus won’t kill me but social isolation may instead

[Notopel]

Does everyone calling for greater social isolation have any idea what real isolation feels like? Or are you planning to hunker down with your husband, partner and children to some well deserved family time?

I’m a single parent without any family, so I spend a lot of time at home with a six year old by myself. We live rurally so have about five immediate neighbours spread around a large village green. My social interaction tends to be limited to work and the clubs that my son attends. I’m very lonely as it is. I spent two weeks alone at Christmas as my son was with my ex husband and my work was shut. Distractions like cinema, shops, cafe, gym etc were intermittently open. I cried a lot because I was so lonely.

From Monday I’ll be working from home. Clubs and activities are starting to be cancelled. I’m forseeing the schools having an extended Easter Break and that the remaining non essential public places will be closed.

I’m not afraid of getting ill or dying. I am very afraid of months of enforced isolation.

[AgentCooper]

I’m dreading it. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and getting out to work is a massive lifeline. I work 3 days since having DS and it just makes life so much better.

I get that it’s for the best and we have to do it. I wish we knew whether we were talking weeks or months.

[alexdgr8]

i think in spain the citizens are still allowed to go to work, those who are not working from home.
apart from that, they are not allowed to go anywhere, unless it is for medical necessity, pharmacy, for which proof is needed.
the police enforce it strictly. they had drones going over residential areas making announcements to remind people.
so maybe it will be like that. still going to work. not sure about shopping. think it would be restricted, not too many at once.

[Eesha]

I will find it hard as I try and take my kids out each day for something at least. Us cooped up at home will be so stressful so I'll probably go stay with family.

[Papoy]

We will be here, it is not RL but better than nothing ... i am sure many feels the same as you...

Who knows we may all set up calls and whatsapp groups call one another perhaps to keep eachother sane ...

This is that one time we all need to help eachother. I believe alot of good will come out from this difficult time..

By the way this "abusive partner" comments come up alot... if you are in danger please call the police. Lock down doesnt mean you cant as for help anymore...

[famousforwrongreason]

I'm a bit late to this thread but I could have written your op myself op!
I have two kids, mainly working from home now, single and long term health issues.
My family lives hundreds of miles away (mum and dad side are opposite ends of the country)
and I'm estranged from both parents for my mental health.
I'm lonely the majority of the time. The first lockdown I was dealing with a huge amount of stressful stuff, it was almost unbearable and I only got through it for the sake of my kids. Most of those pressure have eased now and I'm having therapy but I'm still struggling with anxiety and depression, mainly depression and I'm in constant pain as well as permanently exhausted.
My kids are with their dad Christmas eve and Christmas day.
I haven't got an invitation to go anywhere and as the kids are back in the evening it's not awfully feasible. I don't drive due to my medication and illness and there's no public transport to take me anywhere to family and back in time for the kids.
Everyone around me is talking about how they're going to manage with only three households allowed for Christmas and it's become a huge issue for a lot of people.
I feel like a bit of a loser not having this concern and feel really sad that I'm not on anyone's urgent list to invite.
Unless I'm in a relationship, Christmas is a yearly source of angst and grief for me. I lose count of the amount of Christmases I've spent alone since adulthood.
I have a friend who I've spent Christmas with before and I'm sure we could do it again this year but for reasons I can't explain here, Christmas at hers is extremely hard and she won't come to mine due to her responsibilities at home.
I do partially enjoy the luxury of the day to myself but this year more than ever I'm really feeling the loss of a secure and close family or relationship.

[Userzzz]

You don’t have to follow the rules. If there are friends and family willing to meet with you, you should meet with them. That’s what I am doing... Fuck the rules, they don’t make any sense anyway!

[OpheliasCrayon]

@OhCaptain

That sounds tough but it really is necessary.

Lots of people, particularly elderly people will be alone.

But the alternative of thousands of deaths is just not an option.

That's very callous.

It's necessary to do this to people when the average age of death from covid is older than the average life expectancy for someone in the UK?

Is it necessary to ruin the country like this and do this to people ? Really?

Seeing what this has done in schools, to education, to special needs education (where I work), to people's mental health, to people's health in general because things are so delayed and they're unable to get treatment... I don't think it is necessary really.

Or, if you're about to call me callous to say that I'm killing people - I definitely don't think it's completely clear cut that all this is needed. There's so much damage being done and I don't think any sort of balance has been struck.

[User258544]

I live alone, no kids, working from home since March.

I paired up with one person for support (DM, but could have been anyone). We talk several times a day and meet socially distanced 1-2 times a week for a walk. Only thing that kept me sane. Had to get really mentally ill before I did it. S/one at work suggested seeing DM.

I think you have to find a system that works for you within the rules.

[User258544]

I should add DM is a care worker so technically I am putting myself at risk, and I have mild to moderate lung disease but am under 50, but had to balance with mental wellbeing.

[User258544]

^and take immunosuppressants

[FizzyDizzy121]

I'm sorry you're struggling OP, it sounds really tough - I've had a similar experience previously.

The thing is though, I'd rather be lonely that spread this virus to my loved ones and watch them suffer. I'd rather be lonely than in hospital surrounded by people but struggling to breathe. That doesnt make being alone less tough though.

I'd be spending lots of time with your DC, this is a great opportunity for some 1-1 quality time. There are also still NHS/Local Council volunteers calling people for chats if they're alone - maybe you could see if you can apply?