Mil went to church today

[Sackofspuds]

Just this. AIBU to think this was just plain irresponsible! FFS. We live at the other end of the country and can do nothing to help. Am fuming at the stupidity. Also cross that the church was even open. She's 80+ and lives alone.

As long as she washed her hands and coughed into a tissue, she's following current advice!

If she's CofE, YABU. There are more people in my house.

My Mum (82) and mother in law (88) are saying they've lived through worse and are just carrying on as normal. The older generation don't seem to get the fuss.

Just take a minute to think. She lives alone, miles away from her family. Loneliness is awful.
Older people like likely have to stay in soon anyway.

So did I. It was announced that there would be shaking hands at the sign of the peace, that communion would be in one kind only (i.e. no wine) and administered by the priest wearing latex gloves (which looked really weird!), there was handgel at the door that everyone was asked to use and they made people make their own coffee afterwards so multiple people weren't touching each cup.

Until we are actually in a lockdown situation that all seems reasonable to me.

Honestly, it’s up to her. I think it would be wise for older people or ill people to stay at home more but most must carry on. If she knows the risks and is well (ie doesn’t have a cough or fever) then she’s really doing nothing wrong. I understand why you’re annoyed.

The churches have adapted the service as much as they can in light of the coronavirus. Maybe as she lives alone it is a way of her getting out of the house. I think you have to accept that she made her own decision on this, even if you don't agree with it!

It's the elderly that seem to be accepting this a nd the young think they're invincible that seem to be spreading this. 😡

It was announced that there would be shaking hands at the sign of the peace

Doh. Missed out "not" in that sentence!

I went to Mass this morning. Chapel was busy as usual. Only thing different was there was no holy water to bless yourself when you entered the chapel.

Church might just give her some positivity & hope? Or indeed a reminder of dying for eternal life. How popular is the church? Holy water, shaking hands as the sign of peace and drinking from the chalice are all banned.

I know I should respect her decision. Just frustrating.

The poor woman lives alone. It’s natural she wants company. I really don’t understand some families - while most are rallying around their elderly relatives and moving them in or getting them support at great cost (in terms of time and money) others are just bitching about them while conveniently making their relatives someone else’s problem.

But why it frustrating? Are you expecting her to self-isolate at the moment? Because if not, with all the changes to the service that have been mentioned above, it's no different to going to the shop or to a cafe. Are you frustrated when she does these things too?

Other son lives up the road. She is very active socially and always out. Just think she should start to be protecting herself given her age.

You can't blame your MIL for wanting to say her prayers at the moment! As others have said, churches are making a lot of changes in response to the outbreak: ours had no hymn books, no peace, no communion wine, no coffee afterwards etc.

My dad (75) will soon be making a long haul flight back to the UK from Australia: I'm not too happy about it, but it's his decision.

I'm not expecting her to self isolate but to avoid large gatherings might make a bit of sense.

What do you want her to do?
Self isolating with no symptoms, then come out in a few weeks and catch it anyway?
Calm down.

I'm hoping the removal of hymn books might force whoever needs to, to head into the twentieth century and project the words on a screen somewhere.

DH went today and they all had to radiate love towards each other during the sign of peace. DC say at school it's all about the elbow and ankle tapping.

No refreshments though - that's going to be hard on some people.

Is it a large gathering? There will be about 4 times as many people in Asda right now that I'm about to be amongst than were in my congregation this morning.

Can't see church attendance decreasing in the elderly at present. Quite frankly, for believers, it could be their last chance to get in with The Big Guy.

Bet Confessions are particularly well attended.

I was surprised churches and places of worship havent been mentioned earlier as some are quite large.
However as constraints get stricter I imagine individual churches may decide not to meet as one congregation, or be forced not to.
As family you can only give your opinion. My Ddad (who sadly died before christmas) listened intently to all our advice and did what he wanted to do anyway. (If the same advice came from neighbours he was more likely to listen) He was very unwell and advised not to go out, and not to go on holiday. In the end we would have rather his last days were doing things he enjoyed

I went to church this morning. There was no physical contact between churchgoers, when normally we’d shake hands (passing the peace). Communion was administered in one kind only (bread), and the servers sanitised their hands first. The C of E guidelines are actually very good and our church has taken them seriously. The announcement at the beginning said that most of the church groups had been suspended and we wouldn’t be having coffee afterwards.

I think your MIL will have been safer at church than in the local shop. We may get to the point when services are suspended so it’s probably a good thing she could go this week before that happens.

Remember that life isn’t just measured by its length but also by its richness: church brightens the lives of many isolated older people.

Yeah because you can trust Bozo's advice!

Sorry that was for the first reply