I’m absolutely terrified

[imterrified]

I keep hearing Boris saying that many, many of us are going to lose our families and I’m terrified .

I’ve gone from normal life to bloody counting toilet roll squares, eating the bare minimum to conserve food and being wary of even opening the front door to let the cat in and out . It seems safest to bolt the house up and stay here for a few months if possible .

My father flies regularly to and from Asia; we fell out last month because I wouldn’t travel to see him, and now I’m terrified I’m going to get a call from his wife to tell me he’s dead .

I’ve got an anxiety disorder as it is - I’m in recovery from a horrendous bout of agoraphobia - but watching TV couldn’t stop shaking and bloody terrified . What can I do that would make me feel less scared, short of bolting up the house?

Give him a phone call

Say you would come over but your agoraphobia is bad. He understands you have it, right?

If you are in recovery from agoraphobia then you have GOT to get out of your house. I know as I have had it too. Open the door and walk down your road and back again. Walk around the block. Breathe the fresh air.
You will NOT catch coronavirus by walking outside. Please do not put your agoraphobia recovery back because of this.

I know but I’m so scared . I managed a mile yesterday and now this has put me right back. I’m obese (BMI 43) and I keep thinking, if I get ill the doctors will let me die . I’m late twenties . I’ve never had children or been abroad and I don’t want to die yet .

I could maybe wait until bedtime and then go out I guess - less chance of seeing anyone . I’m avoiding all contact with anyone until it’s safer . I’m meant to be seeing the GP next week and I’m considering cancelling that if they don’t cancel it for me . I’ve started a new anti depressant today and thinking I’ll just stop it before I get used to it, as I’m not sure where the next dose will come through .

My dad doesn’t understand no, not at all . Just says I need to get over it . I am but very slowly .

Yeah im the same. I slept terribly last night worrying about it

I think you are catastrophising. Keep taking your meds. Go to your drs appointment unless theY cancel. Try to get out of the house even if it is just a mile.

I’ve just been taken off my sleeping tablets, I know you feel there . It is just dreadful . I feel like it’s a bad dream I can’t wake up from .

Even this morning I thought, I’m not that hungry so I won’t eat breakfast, I can’t afford to waste food when I’m not hungry now . I’ve lost a lot of weight since Christmas but with this virus I think I’m going to have to ramp it up a stage as they won’t help me if I’m fat .

Same with paracetamol, I’m not taking it as prescribed (chronic pain) because I’m scared what will happen when the box runs out .

My lovely friend is a GP and has immunocompromised DCs, I’ve even found myself worrying for her today .

I genuinely don’t know what’s best to do . I don’t want this horrible fear every day, I’m wondering every minute if within a fortnight we’ll all be starved and alone .

He sounds unhelpful to you if not understanding it, I think you need support and do you have friends who understand better who you can talk to?
You definitely mustn’t shut yourself away, I’m extremely concerned about the situation but certainly strongly believe in getting out and needing positive things like fresh air and gardening or whatever you enjoy . This isn’t dangerous as you are outside and not even near people! Though do also meet friends who you know are sensible too . And talk to us here, it sounds hard for you and I hope we can support you too

As a pp said do go out for walks. Either get up early and go then or in the evening. Fresh air will help and you won't catch it that way. Staying away from crowds and good hygiene is what's needed. But you won't starve or be left to die, really. Can you download something like Headspace and do some meditations to calm down?

576,000 people died in the swine flu epidemic of 2009. I can barely even remember it! We will get through this.

I'm so sorry you're struggling. It IS scary, but you must try really hard to calm down a little.

Your immune system functions better when you are calm. Have you tried binaural beats music for anxiety? I find it really good to help me chill out and fall asleep.

Also, maybe try some lavender capsules - recent studies show they are helpful at reducing anxiety.

We’ll get through this.

Do you have a yard or garden? DH has waves of crippling anxiety and i have a minimum of 20 minutes daylight rule.

He can sit under a blanket in the garden but he needs the air and light.

After the fresh air, other personal challenges are far more obtainable.

You need the vitamin D from daylight so it's important for your physical and mental health to get some air.

A mile is great. That's a fantastic achievement. Also means that you got the all important minimum fresh air dose.

Did you time yourself? There are various plot my walk type free apps that do this for you. It's great to chart your progress and see how you can shave the odd few seconds off. It can be quite motivational. No pressure, no competition other than against yourself.

One day at a time, celebrate each achievement.

I’m wondering every minute if within a fortnight we’ll all be starved and alone

We won’t. Try to stop ruminating on what you think could happen which will always be hugely negative.

Take your tablets, don’t worry about them running out - they have been prescribed for you to take. You can get an online shopping order if need be.

Finally try to go outside. You won’t catch cv from bring outside

Blimey. This more about your anxiety than anything else. 'Starved and alone'? Please get a grip.

We have just been out to dinner to a packed restaurant. 2 days ago we were on the tube in London to go and had lunch at another packed restaurant.

I have also been to an emergency planning meeting at work today to plan contingencies. My friend in Northern Italy has been on lockdown for 3 weeks. She and her family are fine. There is no shortage of food or meds.

This is normal life in the midst of Corona. Catastrophising is not helping anyone.

You have to force yourself to leave the house, as hard as it may be. What about looming out of your street, seeing when its quiet then just opening the door and walking down the street and back up. 10 minutes. The last thing you want is to get stuck in the house again.

I'm in the same boat with an anxiety disorder.
I would advise limiting your monitoring of the situation. Check news once a day.
Go for walks, as you're unlikely to catch anything from a walk.

I also have recently started listening to guided meditation before bed, there's a guy on YouTube called Jason Stephenson who does guided meditation videos and they're good for calming yourself.

Take care of yourself and do what you need to in order to feel safe but make sure you're trying to be mindful and not reinforce your bad habits.

What a stunning misunderstanding of how anxiety works, TheWord.

OP, you're only at risk when meeting other people if you spend approx 15 minutes in their company, indoors (obviously not including touching, but I assume you won't be doing that!). You can safely go for a couple of short, 15 min walks in the daytime when it's quieter and there's sun for some Vitamin D - maybe put some headphones in with a meditation/breathing exercise or some music, both to help you stay grounded and also to discourage anyone from speaking to you, if that helps?

This isn't a nice situation, and I understand your fear - I am beginning to feel my old health anxiety creeping up myself - but as you know you are prone to anxiety related disorders, you have to put in a little work now to keep a handle on it, and you can do that - you've battled agoraphobia, you're obviously a strong person!

Focus on the fact that you have internet access (for social interaction, for online food shops, for - unlikely, but for peace of mind - summoning help should you need it); you have the strength of mind to have noticed you are struggling with this, and how that is the most important step.

Good luck with tackling your fears - I know it's a tricky time to be an anxious person and starting a new AD won't be helping, as the first few days/weeks are often a bit of a rollercoaster too as the effects settle in.

TheWordmeister The OP has an anxiety disorder. Telling her to “get a grip” is really unkind.

OK, sorry. I didn't really absorb the anxiety bit. But nonetheless, I'd be telling it like it is in RL. No-one is going to starve.

Catastrophising is futile and people giving you cold, hard facts can be helpful. I don't know anyone in rl who is panicking over this, including my 2 closest friends - she is a gp and he is a surgeon.

Thank you

I do have a garden yes ... and a Tesco order booked for next week, and six days after that. It’s just the total loss of ‘freedom’ that’s a shock, which is stupid in some ways because it’s not like I went out much anyway. That and this sudden fear that the shops are going to either shut altogether, or run out of food completely as unlikely as I know that is.

Yes definitely harder with new antidepressants . They’re having horrendous side effects tonight which isn’t helping , can cope til tomorrow as know how to manage it (urinary retention, I’ve been taught how to catheterise) but will need to phone GP at 8am .

It shows how vintage my health anxiety is that I vividly remember an anxiety forum I was on before having to set up a swine flu section !!

Will definitely go a walk tomorrow . Live relatively rurally with the advantage you can in theory avoid most people quite easily - if you don’t go into wee shop/GP . 3km beach in fifteen minutes walk .

And yes will step away from the news/daily mail . In hindsight watching Boris was a big mistake . Nicola Sturgeon a bit easier to listen to (sorry, I know!!) as with the weegie accent I trust her ... she sounds just like my lovely v sensible aunt and so easier not to panic !

Word Don't tell someone to get a grip when they have anxiety. Because you were at 2 packed restaurants this week doesn't make you some sort of hard nut. Chill out.

OP you're not alone having this fear. It's scary and it's the unknown which is more scary. But do try and go outside even if it's to your garden (if you have one).
I take my 8 month old DS on a walk daily because we need fresh air still. I tend to take the quiet routes at around quieter times too and have started to cross over if I see people coming just to avoid as much contact as possible.

Hey, OP - what you're going through sounds super difficult. Covid is definitely a prime candidate for preying on already-existing anxiety and ramping it right up!

You sound like you're doing everything you can and should be doing. You're getting outside, even if it is only briefly, and you're considering what times you can do that at to avoid risk even further. You have a review appointment set up with your GP, and it sounds as though going would be really helpful especially given the side effects your new meds are causing.

My partner is a GP and while he says quite matter-of-factly that yes, it is going to get worse and spread from now on until after the peak, he also has spoken about all the precautions practices are taking. They have lots of their own hand sanitiser - and surgeries are probably the one place you can guarantee they won't run out! - and reception staff and GPs are being given very clear guidelines about phone triage so that people with symptoms are either advised to self-isolate or are admitted to hospital if their condition worsens. You will likely to be safe to visit your GP. Arrive on time, not too early, to minimise your time in there.

You've got food coming, and it will come. Don't starve yourself for no reason. Eat what you need to eat to feel healthy and good in yourself; lack of sufficient nutrients makes your brain less able to function and won't help the anxiety.

Can you contact your dad by email to perhaps explain a bit more about your reasons for not visiting (which are probably moot now anyway given increasing travel restrictions), but also to tell him that you're worried about him and that you'd like to stay in more frequent contact? He may well be very worried about you, too.

Take care of yourself and remember that you're actually doing a lot of what sounds helpful and right - keep it up.

Also, @TheWordmeister, it's very easy to be dismissive of anxiety and people's issues. I don't know your situation but there are a number of people in the UK who, without being able to go out, will find themselves struggling when it comes to food. One of the reasons that the government is delaying closing schools, for instance, is because there is a very real danger that certain pupils, particularly those from low-income families, will go hungry without being able to attend school.

It is clear that Covid is a real worry for many, more so for some than others, so please try and be compassionate and not dismissive of concerns that may be very relevant for some, if not for all.

Whereabouts in Asia is your father travelling to? Some parts have considerably less CV than we do because they're warmer.

He’s in Dubai although regularly flies out to Abu Dhabi (no idea if I’ve spelt that right), Riyadh and Egypt . He works with huge businesses and flies at least 2/3 times a week ... I don’t know him all that well but at the moment I’m so worried about him . I think if I tell him that I won’t get a positive response but might try .

siddons yes, will definitely contact GP tomorrow . Can manage retention a bit by myself but not brilliantly/confidently and I’d rather confirm with them that I’m doing the right thing with regards to that !

Thank you