I’m absolutely terrified

[imterrified]

I keep hearing Boris saying that many, many of us are going to lose our families and I’m terrified .

I’ve gone from normal life to bloody counting toilet roll squares, eating the bare minimum to conserve food and being wary of even opening the front door to let the cat in and out . It seems safest to bolt the house up and stay here for a few months if possible .

My father flies regularly to and from Asia; we fell out last month because I wouldn’t travel to see him, and now I’m terrified I’m going to get a call from his wife to tell me he’s dead .

I’ve got an anxiety disorder as it is - I’m in recovery from a horrendous bout of agoraphobia - but watching TV couldn’t stop shaking and bloody terrified . What can I do that would make me feel less scared, short of bolting up the house?

1. Fresh air is good for you
2. Daylight is good for you
3. Movement is good for you
4. You're withdrawing from sleeping tablets
5. You've started a different medication
6. You need to keep your appointment
7. You've got food coming

not meant cruelly (I'm a similar size)

1. At a BMI of over 40, limited activity and with food coming, you really aren't going to starve to death in 14 days.

and most of all

1. Boris Johnson is well known for opening his mouth and utter drivel coming pouring out

Definitely step away from the news for a bit, my head got mangled last night (more than the virus, just all the bad news) and I don't usually worry like this.

Is there anything you do with your hands when you're anxious, like knitting, drawing, colouring in, diary?

Take some deep breaths and watch something, or whatever it is you like!

Oh you've got a cat, haven't you? Find puss and have some stroking threat

Err, therapy

I do have a cat yeah ... he’s old and a bit grumpy .. and has a bad habit of somehow inviting an entire gang of cats back - but does still love a cuddle ! Did laugh out loud at stroking ‘threat’ .

Have checked tesco this morning .. frustratingly getting told half the order won’t be turning up but we’ll see . We have a well stocked freezer, pasta, rice, porridge oats, plenty of loo roll and tinned stuff . Offering to split what we have with neighbours if needed/share meals as we are quite far north and probably more chance of noticing lack of stuff quickly as is the usual with eg snow, etc - we seem to wait a lot longer for things to come back . Particularly as we only have one very small shop .

Have spoken to GP surgery who said it’s difficult, retention normally needs emergency treatment but they aren’t sure as I can catheterise safely at home, albeit not very safely, and I do have about a months supply kept back for emergencies . Hopefully won’t need it for a month but away to ring supplies line shortly and ask for a months worth of stuff (funnily enough, they always send out hand sanitizers and loo roll/wipes too...)

That’s us pretty much in for the weekend now . We have enough fresh food for the weekend and have made a basic list of everything we have, and when it’s expected to run out . Have gone for two walks and to pharmacy twice, and now limited to the garden except for maybe two or three walks a day .

I’ve never had to do that before in my life, except as a very small child when my mum wasn’t given much in the line of benefits and we did have to go hungry, etc .

Trying to find decent box sets now and looking for a book to read .