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Covid

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Original poster

What would happen to dd if I was hospitalised?

47 replies

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:20

This has been playing on my mind a bit today, and it's keeping me awake. Can anyone help to reassure me, please?

If I caught coronavirus and had to be hospitalised for some reason, what would happen to 14yo dd while I was there? I don't feel that she is old enough to stay alone, but she couldn't go to my parents as it would put them at risk and they are potentially very vulnerable. My DH is overseas at the moment and would obviously try to come home asap, but it might not be possible to get here quickly. He also has some underlying health issues in any case.

It's not exactly as if I could ask friends to take her, as she would be putting them all at risk. So what would happen to her?

OP posts:

Daffodil101 · 09/03/2020 00:23

Could she self isolate in a cleaned house and another adult come to stay?

sprinklemagicinmyhair · 09/03/2020 00:24

If you really had no one to look after her it would be foster care.

DressingGownofDoom · 09/03/2020 00:25

It's an unlikely scenario but you're the only one with the answer. She could go into foster care but then she's still putting other people at risk. You need to identify someone who can and is willing to look after her and agree with them that they will if needed.

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:25

I guess, but who would come and stay? All of my friends have their own lives/families to think about. Also impossible to self isolate in our house properly as we only have one bathroom.

OP posts:

Blackbear19 · 09/03/2020 00:30

I'd guess at 14 SS would probably go down the route of her staying home with them as emergency contact.

If corona becomes really wide spread SS could be spread very thin. Parents hospitalized, inc foster parents and homes / spaces needed for much younger children.

AutumnRose1 · 09/03/2020 00:30

“ It's not exactly as if I could ask friends to take her, as she would be putting them all at risk”

But sone of us are calm about it, if any of my friends have this happen I’d volunteer to stay in their home. Not with a little kid, I don’t like those 😂 but a teen, I’d offer help. So you may well find you know people who will help you.

AlunWynsKnee · 09/03/2020 00:31

Where are all the additional foster carers going to come from? Especially willing to take on a probably infectious child?

AutumnRose1 · 09/03/2020 00:32

My mum is 82 and not bothered so she’d also take a friends DC on the house. It’ll be reet, OP.

AbsentmindedWoman · 09/03/2020 00:35

14 is young to stay alone, but in extreme circumstances it might be safest for her too. Staying home, with a kitchen well stocked with easy meals, can keep her head down and relax at home safe and well.

Foster care doesn't sound like a good idea.

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:35

Thank you AutumnRose, that's really comforting to think that there are people who wouldn't mind helping. Thankfully, she is a good kid so wouldn't be any trouble to anyone who was kind enough to step in.

OP posts:

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:38

Yes, I suppose she'd be alright on her own if that was the only solution. She's pretty sensible. Just think it would be pretty lonely as I know she'd be worried about me.

OP posts:

AutumnRose1 · 09/03/2020 00:40

Akexa, that’s kind of funny because I’ve been called heartless on other threads.

But someone has to be unworried. I’m worried about losing contract work coming up so I think I might volunteer at the local hospital or ask if the church need help doing visits.

Irony - being a nihilist makes it easier to be helpful!

Good night and try not to worry

AcrossthePond55 · 09/03/2020 00:41

I'd take a 14 yr old in in those circumstances. But our house is such that if it were deemed necessary by health professionals she'd be able to 'self-isolate' in a bedroom & have a bathroom to herself (not en suite but right next to the bedroom).

I have a feeling that amongst your friends there will be someone who would be willing to help out. If only because of 'there but for the grace go God go I'.

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:44

Thank you. It's weird as I am not usually a worrier really, but this is getting to me at the moment. I'm glad that lots of people are unworried!

OP posts:

Fidgety31 · 09/03/2020 00:47

She’s 14 , not 4 . More than capable of looking after herself surely .

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:47

Thanks Acrossthepond, that's reassuring. I hadn't considered the possibility of her self isolating (if necessary) in someone else's house.

OP posts:

sprinklemagicinmyhair · 09/03/2020 00:48

She’s 14 , not 4 . More than capable of looking after herself surely .

There is a reason 14 year olds still live with their parents.

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:49

Fidgety, yes, she's capable. I just don't like the idea of her being alone, potentially unwell herself and probably worried about me. It's all hypothetical though, so I need to get out of my own head!

OP posts:

katy1213 · 09/03/2020 00:58

Surely a 14-year-old would rise to the occasion in an emergency. And this is completely hypothetical!

Lynda07 · 09/03/2020 00:59

If the worst happened I'm sure there are agencies who would support your daughter at home, it wouldn't be for long.

Please don't worry about what probably will never happen.

avamiah · 09/03/2020 00:59

AlexaShutUp,
We are in London and my 10 year old always has friends staying over.
She is welcome here if the situation arises .
Don’t worry yourself to much for now .

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:00

Yes Katy, you're right on both counts. I don't know why I'm worrying about this stuff, as it isn't really helpful.

OP posts:

crustycrab · 09/03/2020 01:00

What? Why would you be in hospital? She's 14 not 4. Christ 🙄

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:03

Thank you Lynda and avamiah, I appreciate both of your posts. I'm just being stupid, I think.

OP posts:

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 09/03/2020 01:03

In the extreme circumstances you describe here I think they'd just leave her on her own with maybe an emergency contact and someone checking on her by telephone? Something like that.

I know 14 is young but it's plenty old enough for her to care for her own basic needs for a couple of weeks.

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