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Covid

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Original poster

What would happen to dd if I was hospitalised?

47 replies

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 00:20

This has been playing on my mind a bit today, and it's keeping me awake. Can anyone help to reassure me, please?

If I caught coronavirus and had to be hospitalised for some reason, what would happen to 14yo dd while I was there? I don't feel that she is old enough to stay alone, but she couldn't go to my parents as it would put them at risk and they are potentially very vulnerable. My DH is overseas at the moment and would obviously try to come home asap, but it might not be possible to get here quickly. He also has some underlying health issues in any case.

It's not exactly as if I could ask friends to take her, as she would be putting them all at risk. So what would happen to her?

OP posts:

avamiah · 09/03/2020 01:05

AlexaShutUp,
No your not being stupid your worried .
But hopefully you’ll be fine .

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:06

Thank you Homer, you're right, she would manage.

Crusty, I know I'm probably being stupid but I can't help it. Our worries are not always very rational. Thankfully, most posters have been helpful and reassuring, so I'm glad that I posted here.

OP posts:

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:07

avamiah thank you.

OP posts:

Nancydrawn · 09/03/2020 01:11

Not being stupid, OP, just anxious.

Here's something I like to think about: it used to be assumed by historians that plague destroyed social bonds--that society unraveled in times of stress and pandemic. It was an assumption that people wrote about without testing it against the records.

But recent historical studies have shown that really wasn't true. When push came to shovewhen plague, with 20, 30% morbidity, came to townpeople pulled together. People looked after their neighbors, after their friends; they took on their cousin's sister-in-law's children. And I'm not just talking in the short term--they invited them into their houses to live and be raised with them.

It looks like when push comes to shove, there is actually a human instinct to build community, not turn away from it. It turns out the nihilists were wrong.

I hope that's of some comfort.

crustycrab · 09/03/2020 01:12

I didn't call you stupid. Never would. But when posts seem "supportive" they aren't always. Validation is not always a good thing

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:18

I get that crusty, you're right that validation isn't always a good thing. On one level, I know that I'm worrying about something that will probably never happen, and even if it did, it would probably be ok. It's a good thing to be reminded of this. Sometimes, the mind goes to weird places though. I wish I could control it more effectively.

Nancy thank you, that's both interesting and reassuring. I hope that people will rally round to support each other if things get difficult.

OP posts:

theThreeofWeevils · 09/03/2020 01:19

14 is young but it's plenty old enough for her to care for her own basic needs for a couple of weeks

Right. It's definitely the end of days when one sees that sort of thing on mumsnet

avamiah · 09/03/2020 01:22

crustycrab,
Let me tell you that my offer is very genuine .
I have been a member on here for many years and post regular .
I live in London with my 10 year old daughter and also my 83 year old mother and 2 cats .
We would help anybody in a time of need if they had nobody else, especially a child /teenager .

Original poster

AlexaShutUp · 09/03/2020 01:23

Hope not Three!

Thanks all for your support and for helping me to get this in perspective. I'm going to try and stop thinking about it now and see if I can get some sleep!

OP posts:

expat101 · 09/03/2020 01:32

While raising our Daughter, I got fed up with my Parents health excuses/appointments as to why they were not spending time with her as my Nan did with me (and was expected to by my mother).

So my answer to this is if I was Granny, I would move heaven and earth to either have GD with us or I would go to her.

Having said that, surely if your Daughter was displaying symptoms, she would be able to be with you and self isolate together. Grannies can drop off shopping, medication and the like without direct contact. ?

Casino218 · 09/03/2020 01:54

At 14 she should be able to cook for herself, stay safe in the house etc. If she can't then start teaching her. My dd is 14 and she would be absolutely fine.

Blackbear19 · 09/03/2020 06:31

The other thing to remember is even if she did need to self isolate you'd still have phone contact and I'm sure neighbours would be willing to help with shopping.

Idolovechocolategimmygimmy · 09/03/2020 06:33

OP makes a good point. Just my husband and I here, no family around for miles. I don't know what we would do too.

bellinisurge · 09/03/2020 06:42

There is a thread about this in the Prepper topic.
Short term, get some easy to pull together food in an accessible place that she knows about. Doesn't have to be the most nutritionally fabulous- in that scenario just making sure they are fed and watered.
As far as I can see they want people to stay home unless very poorly.

WorriedAcademic · 09/03/2020 06:45

How long would it take your dh to get home....surely only 1 or 2 days max? She’d be ok for a few days on her own.

cologne4711 · 09/03/2020 06:48

I bet your parents would take her in and not think about themselves.

My mother certainly would.

Do they live near enough to pop by the house, so she could stay at home but they could pop in say twice a day for 5 minutes to check she's ok? Friends or trusted neighbours could do that too and it doesn't sound like it would be for that long as your DH could get back within a few days (isn't he at risk overseas too?)

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 09/03/2020 06:55

My mother went into hospital for two weeks when I was 13.

It was blissfully quiet, peaceful and I managed to keep 5 cats, a dog and a rabbit alive for the period without burning the house down.

The only problem was that I went on a school trip the evening before she was due home, but when I got back at 9pm, she'd been discharged early and hadn't read the school letter I'd left on top of the telly, so I was in huge trouble for it.

These days, we have mobiles, so that can't happen.

SunShineLovers · 09/03/2020 06:57

I would start preparing her to be safe at home.

Friends and relatives could phone to check on her, she could phone them, or pass by for a quick visit (from afar). Maybe a check list and she contacts someone at a set time each day.

I think a sensible 14 is fine to be at home for a few days alone.

Prepare her with a phone, emergency numbers.

And go through basics like locking up and making the house safe before going out/bed; kitchen safety; emergency scenarios; even where you passports/ID/will etc are kept

She will need to stay connected to people especially if her own health could be compromised and she may need medical treatment.

dottiedodah · 09/03/2020 07:05

If you are reasonably young and otherwise healthy ,you would be unlikely to end up in hospital anyway .A friends son works/lives in Italy and had Coronavirus he said its just like Flu .Recovered now and back at work .These scenarios of "What if" could be translated to anything really. I think because its on the news so much, we are all in a sort of semi panic whipped up by lurid headlines in well known tabloids!

homemadecommunistrussia · 09/03/2020 07:46

My dd is a bit older, but when she was tgat age I think she would have been welcome at one of her school friends. Might that be an option for you?

SirVixofVixHall · 09/03/2020 10:23

I am also very worried about this. I have two dc, recently turned 15, and 12. I also have a dog.
If DH and I both get hospitalised what would happen ? No friends would want to take dc surely, as then they could infect the friend. Mil is very healthy but 84. She is the only close relative we have in the UK. My closest local friends have asthma , one has a husband who is late 70s, another has a husband with diabetes, so no way would I want to put them at risk.
I am in my fifties, so higher risk. I am very worried.

LucyFox · 09/03/2020 11:23

If the “authorities” are aware of a child, they will not permit them to be left alone. I once stepped in to “supervise” a 15 yr old overnight when her mum was taken into hospital as she would otherwise have to go to a foster carer ... daughter had gone to the hospital with mum by ambulance & I had a phone call from her very scared. I went to the hospital where her mother agreed that she knew me & was happy to release A to my care & I took her to her own house & stayed there with her (her choice, she wanted to stay home & not come to my house)
At 15 she was deemed vulnerable & needed to be under the care of an adult - the hospital were correctly wary initially of allowing her home with me as I was not a relative but Mum was able to consent to it

I think you’d find friends very willing to take her in or come to stay with her if necessary. You’d do the same for one of her friends wouldn’t you?

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