30s TTC - We Started TTC When the LAST Coalition Government Was In Power

[Muser]

BESH is BACK for Spring. Come in, admire the cocktail bar stylings I have created for you. It's all lowlights and smooth sounds, and there's a rehearsal room in back for the GLEE practice.

The barman are beautiful, the Pit has been well stocked with beanbags and gin. So roll up all you 30-something BESHies who stopped counting cycles sometime in the last century, and grab a martini.

Aaaah, Pride and Prejudice! I declare Miss Scorpette I would not be as particular as you for a kingdom! I never met with pleasanter BESHes in my life!

(that's an entirely random misquote by the way. It doesn't mean anything)

Fire one back. Go on - dare you!

"Fuck Off Caz". That's what I want Lizzie to say to Caroline Bingley every time she's a caaah.

Isn't she brilliant?

When my sister got married last year, my mum said "Two daughters married Mr ..... God has been very good." It made us titter for hours. We were quite overwrought, mind you.

Morning ladeez. I win in the Miss Piggy stakes for what I ate last night. I took the boyf out for dinner thanks to a spot of overtime. Polished off a lovely 3 course meal, inc pate, wine & whiskey. Therefore I'm most definitely going to be diffed & have just caused undue damage.

(I did only have 1 glass of wine & whiskey in my coffee. Plus the boyf told me that would be fine. Didn't think about the pate til I got home & was wearing elastic pj's - the bliss). Perfick mother material, me.

Hope everyone has a great Bank Holiday - tis pissing down here - wouldn't expect anything else. So will prolly hibernate & watch endless episodes of The Shield. Its a tough life.

No comedy violence coz frankly I'm too lazy to get up.

Am also feeling massively lazy today. Possibly due to Friday night funs. And is grey and blah in ThatLondon.

My friend's book is available to purchase and is rather good; was called Girl Meets Cake in the UK & the cover isn't as pretty. I passed on your nice trailer words to her. She was dead chuffed.

Ah, Austen. I do trust, Miss Scorpette, that you weren't watching the Keira Knightley travesty?

IKEA FUCKING KNIGHTLEY CAN PISS OFF WITH HER JAW LIKE A COAL-SCUTTLE LIZZIE BENNETT MY ARSE

Shamefully, I was so bored that I watched both the Knightly film - which I quite like - and then the BBC series! I am truly pathetic. Ahhh, Colin Firth I love the fact that Andrew Davies gave him the stage direction to always look like he's trying to hide a massive erection every time he's in the same room as Lizzy

I have a stronger jaw than Knightly, so let's not slag off strong-jawed wimminz, please Let's concentrate on how emaciated she is instead EAT SUMMAT, WOMAN!

I might have to watch Sense & Sensibility this avo - Greg Wise as Willoughby is still my no. 1 crush after all these years

Christ, I still feel appalling. When will I start to get better? My arms are so weak that every post takes me ages to write as I have to keep stopping. Which does beg the question of why I write such long posts but balls to that.

I will not slag off Knightly for either her skinny figure or strong jaw as I have both of those and am frequently a skinny-women bashee. But what pisses me off is her STUPID FUCKING CRYSTAL CUT GLASS ACCENT AND STUPID LIP POUT, OK?

Other than HER, I thought the film was rather good. Nice production. Real house etc. But obviously there will never be anything to touch the '95 series - my completely favourite scene is when she and Darce are looking lovingly and tenderly across the room at each other when she's sat by Georgiana. Makes my heart fair turn over, so it does.

Sense and Sensibility is also Very Good ("May I have your permission ascertain whether or not it is broken?" Oh God yes!)

Ah, that 'sat with Georgiana' scene is the apex of the 'massive erection' smouldering I feel mighty flustered just thinking about it.

Her accent is truly crappy, I cannot disagree. She sounds less authentic than Jenna Malone, who played Lydia and who is American!

I have very pouty lips and have spent a lifetime with people making sarky/narky comments about me 'deliberately' pouting, like I'm trying to look sultry an' shiz. Same goes for my Mum. She has the last laugh now, being 62 and still having lovely full lips.

Ha, basically, if we slag a sleb off, we will end up inadvertently insulting another BESH. Can we all agree that Jordan is just awful, however?

KK has two expressions; pouty surprise and pouty happy. However, my problem with the film, which looks pretty and could have been a lovely take on Austen, is that if you make the Bennett parents nice and loving, NOTHING makes sense. Why would Lydia run away if her mother hadn't indulged her? Why would Bingley hesitate to marry into the family? It basically just makes Darcy a Giant Snob. Gah.

Jordan is a terrible human being! Agreed.

So, here are the rules. NO slagging off of:
fat people
scrawny people
pouty people (and therefore presumably thin-lipped people)
people with strong jawlines (and therefore people with "less defined" jawlines
ginger people
blondes
people with an accent apart from Knightley-esque i.e. Welsh, Cornish, Scottish, London/South East, Midlands, the North, Americam. Do we have any Irish on here?

Further suggestions?

(iz all lighthearted by the way.)

Drom, I hadn't thought of that aspect. That is v observant. What pisses me off is that they always get 50-summat women to play Mrs Bennett. Considering the book makes much of the fact that Mr Bennett fell in love with her beauty and caprice when she was very young and then regretted marrying such an immature gal, Mrs B is meant to be no more than 37/38 (eek). I know you aged quicker back then, but would it kill people to not have her played as a fat crone? I could play her - I have the authentic teeth!

Also on that subject, Donald Sutherland's teeth are ridiculously dazzling and perfect in that film, even if he does affect a tic of covering his mouth up when he smiles. He's also far too old and not sarcastic enough, although he does a good job of showing his need for 'an easy life' is detrimental to his parenting and that is one reason why his wife is so fussy about everything.

Wow, I'm bored (boring)!

No slagging off of shortarses and curly/wavy hair, please Oh, and crap teeth.

Kerry Katona - she's vile too, isn't she?

Tall people also.

Actually I've only seen the film version once and I came away hating it because it wasn't the Andrew Davies version. I was trying to be fair, but I'll be honest and come out and say it: I didn't like it! I thought it was unnecessary and Darcy wasn't sexy enough nor Mr Bennet acidic enough. And ...oh....everything!

I get the point about Mrs B needing to be younger- however if I saw her portrayed by a woman my age(ish) I think I'd have to do hack my head off with a large knife. It would be depressing beyond imagining.

Useless/boring fact - I was once sent a Mr Darcy/Colin Firth postcard from the JA museum in Bath and the sender found it so rib-crackingly hilarious she actually really offended the old dears in the shop and was asked to leave.

Katona - another waste of space. Judgmental? Moi?

The thing that really annoys me about KK is that she shows about as much emotion as a plank of wood. She is dull dull dull.

Useless fact of the day: I used to work in a building society in Bath, where Greg Wise's mum was a customer. He sometimes came in with her. I had no idea who he was at the time (I was about 20) but even back then thought 'fuck me he's gorgeous'. Or summat of that ilk. I used to suck up something chronic to his mother in the hope she'd pair us off, but the bitch* refused to play ball.

*Must say she was very lovely lady, terribly posh and horsey, but always v nice and not actually a bitch at all. Let's just call it 'artistic licence'.

How is everyone today? TG has gone away for the weekend, hoorah! (I love having time to myself, utter bliss.) I am going to bake some caramel mud cakes in a mo to stuff my face with give to Ma and Pa when we visit them tomorrow. Nom nom nom.

Heh, have you seen this

Christian Mumsnet

Seems it has been taken over and ruined by lots of non-christian MNers.

There is an AIBU thread about it too...
thread

It's good to see they still have a BUMSEX thread on there Or was that the norty non-Christian infiltrators?

(Calm down, Iggy, I don't think you'd like Christian MN ).

I am hungover again. I have now tasted vintage Krug. S'ok.

Have you been partying with Jeffrey Archer, Muse? I am out left-wing ranting with one of my best mates. Is so satisfying. We are currently trying to work out how to solve our borough's problems; with some of the richest areas in London, 77% are still living below the poverty line. Fundamentally, every non-yuppie child I see is deprived. This feels unfixable and frankly shit in 2010.

Drom when I did a lot of yoof work in a church in North London there were kids living in homes with no furniture bar a beat-up sofa and a telly. And they had shaved heads cuz of lice. Makes me even crosser about David "Millionaire" Laws.

Not Jeffrey Archer, just out with MrM's best pal, who has expensive taste and a generous disposition.

As part of my job I spend a lot of time talking to people in bad situations. I end up very angry at the injustice of it all. I wish I knew how to fix it.

Evening all.

Hullo. I had a break for Dr Who there. I have an exciting evening of Eurovision planned. Normally this would involve many bottles of cheap bubbly, but think I'll have to skip that. Not sure a sober Eurovision is a very good idea.

What's everyone else up to this bank holiday weekend? Is it even a bank holiday in That Scotland?

This Dr Who is roughly 67.34% better than the Tennant one

We did our bedroom up today. I have made a bedside lamp out of a twisted hazel branch shoved in a vase of pebbles and hung with fairy lights and everything . It has gone from foetid clothes-strewn pit to pale cosy room three times the size in 24 hours. I hope it will do wonders for the SWI (nothing shrieks 'seduction' like two extracted wisdom teeth, a paperback that got dropped in the bath & a dented lamp on the beside table).

it is, but I'm not off. Oil industry doesn't really stop for bank holidays.

Muse Tell me about your job on t'other place?

Ed Am torn on the Laws thing. V bored with MPs expenses, but it seems this scandal is more a product of an attempt to keep his sexuality secret from judgy Catholic parents. Hard not to sympathise.

Have been doing some counting today. I have to stop boozing soon because IVF and booze don't mix. Does anyone fancy trying for a small London BESHup before I have to be sober?