TTC whilst breastfeeding support thread - join me to share your ups and downs!

[smallblackflowers]

Hi!
A little about me - I'm pushing 34, have a 10 month old DD that I'm still breastfeeding and really want to conceive no.2 asap!
I am on my second cycle since AF returned and am temp / CM / CP charting using fertility friend and have OPKs!
I ovulated on day 29 of my last cycle, and am on day 21 at the moment.
Have been having fun and games with very fertile signs over the past week, so lots of BD, but no ovulation, poor DH is full of a cold and not feeling very energetic but I keep insisting that he perform until my temps go up

So anyway - hoping that there are others out there in a similar boat who can help to keep me sane and hopefully share some good news in the coming months.

I wonder if my inability to bold things is something I should be charting on FF, as it seems to be pretty cyclical

@ sbf

Very depressed about the egg quality declining after CD18 thing Where have you heard that? I spent hours dejectedly googling last night but didn't read anything about that. Still feeling prety down about the whole thing.

My brother phoned last night to say that he and his DW had just discovered that she was 15 weeks gone with their second I was very pleased that I was nothing but delighted for them while on the phone, but did need a hug from DH afterwards. Hate this.

Found this interesting:

"Suckling by the baby causes the mother's pituitary to release prolactin. It used to be thought that prolactin directly affected ovulation/fertility, but new research suggests that there is another hormone intermediate between prolactin and the ovaries. So that high levels of prolactin lead to either high or low levels of this other factor, which then affects fertility. Fertility is not an "either/or" sort of phenomenon. Post-partum, a woman does not ovulation for a while, even if she isn't breastfeeding. If she is breastfeeding frequently enough to keep her prolactin levels above her individual critical threshhold for fertility (and women vary in this threshhold) then her fertility is suppressed.

The greatest level of suppression is not ovulating, but as your prolactin levels go up, your fertility will gradually return. First you will ovulate, but not have the proper hormone levels for fertilization; then you will ovulate and fertilization may occur, but you still may not have the proper hormone levels for implantation; finally, you may ovulate, be fertilized, and implant, but not have the proper hormone levels for continuing the pregnancy, so you have a very early miscarriage, probably along the lines of minutes or hours after implantation, so you wouldn't know you had been pregnant. It is also possible to ovulate without having the right hormonal levels in the right combinations for the uterus to have been preparing for implantation, so yes, it is possible to ovulate without menstruating. For all of these stages, there seems to be incredible individual variation between women."

from here - though it is not helping my general mood any to know that it might not be possible to get pg even though I'm definitely oving!

Started making a concerted effort to cut down on feeds today, so hope that will make a difference.

Good luck to everyone else.

That is interesting Dita(and depressing!) Thanks for the link.

I'm trying to cut out the daytime feeds for the same reason and just stick to morning and evening. Ds has been fairly easily distracted, so we'll see what happens.

FF have told me that my chart is possibly triphasic this month and I'm pretty sure that I'm not pg, so I'm wondering whether the increased progesterone from reduced feeding has got anything to do with it. Hmm.

I've just found some Agnus Castus in the cupboard and it's triggered a vague memory that I was taking it last time I was TTC. Can't for the life of me remember why or how much though!

Congrats on the weight loss SBF. I'm finding my caffeine habit a difficult one to break. I've been doing it gradually so it's not too painful and I'm getting there finally. I'm still having the odd glass of wine but I figure that'll be the next step if nothing works. [depressed emoticon]

Hi dita - got the 18 day egg thing from my current book - The Infertility Cure - I also had not heard of it before, which is surprising considering my googling habit!

Thanks for the other info - makes difficult reading though. I am only reassured by the fact that there are loads of women out there who get pg whilst BF.And good luck on cutting down with feeds. If it is any comfort, they seem to forget quickly, DD never asks for a daytime feed anymore, and it has been less than 3 weeks since we dropped the last one.

Well, I am now on the 2WW - ovulated on CD17. It is interesting as I seem to be ovulating a day earlier each cycle ,and I think that I am nearly back to what I was pre pg, fingers crossed that it is a good sign Will need to rebook my 'day 21' blood test though, as it is supposed to be done on 7DPO.

I am such an idiot - I just found a copy of the Infetility Cure on my bookshelf. I was like this: . But now I think about it, I bought a copy after I had a miscarriage and it was consigned to the shelf and forgotted about when I got pregnant again very quickly.

Maybe now I can find out what I was doing with the Agnus Castus...

I'm out for this month - my lovely triphasic chart had a massive dip this morning.

coconutfeet at your copy of the Infertility Cure - I do that all the time with stuff - have 2 copies of a couple of albums as forget that I have already bought them when I see them again on special offer always surprised when I go to put the new one away and find another copy there....

A low temp can be a one off too due to breathing through your mouth etc - don't be too disheartened yet

FF confirmed ov at day 17 for me this morning and gave me an EDD of the day after my 35th birthday.That would be nice.

I'm swinging between thinking about stopping BF and stubbornly carrying on thinking that I will be able to get pg somehow....

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for ages as I've been too upset and emotional about the whole thing!! I think I had a faint BFP last cycle and then came on... ( this is second time this has happened!) So have now been to Doc's and had blood test - they said my hormones levels are normal - prolactin within normal range!! When i started asking more questions they said the test really didn't tell them anything cos it was wrong time of cycle so then i hade 21 day... This showed I hadn't ovulated but if I did have a BFP last cycle I must have ovulated then!! yeah? This is so confusing and frustrating... Doc don't seem to have any answers -I'm 39 and feel like I'm running out of time...
Tried to cut bck DS milk... even tried to explain to him that I needed us to cut back so that i have more energy so that I can make him a little brother or sister like his friend and cousin have got... he nods his head like it all makes sense and actually some days he's having less but then making up for it by feeding 2 hourly through nigh! Then he gets a cold so even more feeds....
I desperately want him to have a sibling!
I feel really scared of going through pregnancy and little baby stage again as found it all so scarey and knackering last time!
I think i need to put baby plans on hold and try to take better care of myself and son - maybe he'll naturally cut back on milk over summer and then if i've got more energy it'll happen naturally...
Have ordered fertility cycles and nutrition - but not arrived yet...
Have copies of Taking charge of you fertility and infertility cure (chi med) that I will willing lend out - need to get them out of the house as overwhelmed by too much info and need to get some head space...
Am reading 8 weeks to optimun health by Dr Andrew Weil at the mo... loads of lovely tips to increase sense of well being like -
buy flowers every week
liten to beautiful music every day
walk every day (in nature if poss - or focus on trees/flowers etc)
do stretch exercises every day

Does anyone else feel that maybe their fertility issues could be down to them needing more energy or calmness...??

I'm sorry about long rambling post. I just need to find ways to be more positive and find a way through this... I can't give up on my dream of having another child...

Thank you for reading (if you got this far!) sending pos vibes to everyone else!! XXXX

Oh raspberryknickers I'm so sorry you're out in limbo. Hope you get some answers (and a sticky BFP obviously) soon. From the quote I posted above it sounds as though non-sticky BFPs are part of the return to fertility so hopefully the fact you have had a couple of them bodes well for when your hormones do settle down.

I would love to borrow TCOYF but I think someone else above was after it as well and they mentioned it first

Forgot to say that I need to get pg while still bfing to prove my mum wrong! She is really winding me up. Stupidly told people we were trying, thinking it wouldn't take too long and she keeps putting pressure on me to stop bf (though I'm sure she thinks she's being supportive). The other day she said that most women have to give up bfing to conceive again, I said that wasn't true and I'd done quite a lot of research into it, and she said that MN didn't know everything! I actually meant Kellymom - grr. On the plus side, SIL got pg while still bfing (though only one feed a day I think).

Should be thinking about SWI since I'm on CD13, on the off-chance anything good has happened to my cycle, but I smacked my face in my car door yesterday so too bruised and sore to really be in the mood!

Fingers crossed for you both coconutfeet and sbf - would be a nice birthday present

raspberryknickers I'm sorry you are feeling so rubbish too TTC is so emotive and hard enough without the added conundrum of breastfeeding in the mix. Your book about improving your positivity sounds like a good idea - all the things that you mentioned always make me feel better too - I bought flowers yesterday (reduced to clear, but still lovely) and looking at them makes me feel happy. As does lying in the garden on my sun lounger reading a good book which I achieved at least half an hour of earlier - bliss.

dita ouch! How about only going for the SWI of you have other positive fertility signs? And your DH could always kiss it better!

I'm out to a friend's bd party and hog roast this evening, taking DD as have no local childcare options, fingers crossed she'll sleep in the car on the way home and I can manoeuvre her into bed without her usual bedtime bf.

Thanks Dita and SBF...

Dita I hope your face is ok!?!

My mum is exactly the same - I don't think she approves of extended bfing so weaning him is her answer for me too... I need to go back to kellymum they've got a help sheet for TTC whilst feeding - I did print it out but have lost it. Although I got really worried about the supplements/herbs it suggests in case they're not safe.. I asked a chemist about progesterone cream and Agnus Castus and she said no to both!! Also I stopped taking Brewers yeast for vit b cos I suddenly noticed on the pack it said not to take if feeding!!?

Also does anyone know is vit C is a general no no if you're trying to conceive? I just think I've read this somewhere but not sure!

Vit C doesn't ring any bells, think vit A is bad because too much can harm a foetus (?? baby brain has set in permanently I fear). I think a lot of things say not to bfeed with them just because they haven't been tested but may not actually be harmful iyswim.

I don't think my mum really approves of extended bfing either. She kept mentioning stopping as DD was approaching a year and at her first birthday party kept lurching over and saying "That all stops now, you know!". Apparently this was because she thought I wanted to give up at a year but it led to an awkward few weeks. Then she seemed to accept it but it's suddenly all started up again I think next time I'm just going to point out that she's putting pressure on me, not supporting me, but I find it very hard to get into conflict with my parents. The weird thing is that she bfed the three of us herself, for 7, 5 and 12 months respectively.

My face hurts! Though is a little better today than yesterday. I am such a dick!

raspberrykickers. You poor thing, you sound really fed up. I think it's easy for the whole TC thing to become totally all-consuming, which makes it even worse when it doesn't work. I'm 42 and I can totally relate to that feeling of running out of time.

If you're feeding every two hours at night you must be knackered. I'm not sure how old your son is, but if he's old enough, would you consider night-weaning? Not sure if you're co-sleeping but if you are, Dr Jay Gordon has a very gentle method for co-sleeping parents, here. Could it be worth doing that and then tackling the daytime feeds? Trouble is, if you're exhausted it's really hard to find the energy to follow through with your plan at 3am isn't it...

I really like the ideas about increasing your wellbeing. I sometimes have to force myself to take a bit of time to relax, and then I remember how nice it feels. Can your partner take your ds for a couple of hours to allow you to do something for yourself?

Good luck with it all - I'm pretty sure there is some kind of mind-body connection. Now I just need to follow my own advice!

Dita - Ouch! I hope your face is better soon.

Oh, and I would think Vit C is ok, as it's not stored by the body. Not sure though...

Oh, and period started today so I'm back on day one. Feeling OK about it though as I was pretty sure that it hadn't happened this month.

Thanks for that Coconutfeet I've been reading Elazbeth Pantry - No cry sleep solution too... but you're right - hard to impliment in the middle of the night!! Will check out Dr Gordon's ideas too.. This made me laugh and its so true -

Co-sleeping babes - 'Their babies tend to breastfeed for more than one year and they don?t sleep through the night any better than most of us would if we napped and cuddled within inches of the best restaurant in town and knew it was open 24 hours a day.' LOL

Things getting bett tho - he's over cold now and back to one 3 o'clock ish wake a night!! Thankfully!!

Good luck to you too. SOrry to hear AF arrived! It is hard to stay pos but this thread is really helping - thanks everyone. XXXX

Evening all

Well I've just managed my 2nd day of only 1 feed in 24 hours. Am quite surprised actually, as didn't really plan for it to happen so soon, but asked DH to take her straight down to breakfast on sunday morning, with strict instructions to bring her back up to me if she requested her milkies, but she didn't. So I did the same this morning, saying 'wouldn't you prefer your breakfast now instead' when she signed for milk, and she was fine with it. I'm feeling quite sad, but plan to increase feeds again if I get pg (if she wants to). Not planning on weaning completely for a good while either.

LOL at the 'best restaurant in town' quote

Hope you are all well and enjoying the lovely weather.

Ah, that sounds great sbf. I am also trying to cut down but it's not going particularly well - last two days it's been three feeds outside of bed, today probably five or six. Pah! I keep hearing from people who naturally weaned at a year and wondering how the hell they did it

Nightweaning is going okayish in that she doesn't cry too much and sometimes she doesn't get a feed when she asks for one, but it's bloody hard work and I'm knackered.

Well done SBF!

Ugh to nightweaning Dita. It's hard work isn't it.

When we decided to stop co-sleeping and also start to nighwean I really relied a lot dp to settle ds. We had a cut off of 5am and if ds woke before then dp would settle him back to sleep. It did seem to break the habit and he woke less than before. It's only now at 19 months that he's actually started to sleep through.

How are you feeling Raspberryknickers?

Oh, and I think I've found the bit about vitamin C in the Infertility Cure that you were referring to. Apparently lots of vitamin C can create an acidic environment hostile to sperm so you mustn't overdose on it.

Hope everyone's OK.

checking in!

congrats lpsmum I am v for me but v for you.

Well second AF has arrived. LP is still 6/7 days. Might start on the B6.

Am toying with nightweaning as well, but not sure I have the energy for it.....

ho hum, onwards and upwards. fingers x-ed for all!

dita I'm dubious of anyone saying that they naturally weaned at a year too - what we're doing in the SBF household is not natural it is enforced, but luckily DD is pretty compliant by nature, and a little younger than your DC too, so less demanding!

Well I've had a bleeding awful day today.

Whilst feeling a bit down about being told I can't return to the toddler group that I go to - no, not for raucous or bad behaviour, but because DD at 14 months needs stimulation that is more appropriate to her age.......
She is the oldest in the group by about a month. My main reason for going is that all the other mums are my friends, we initially met at the bf support group many many months ago. Anyway, I digress, whilst feeling about the above, I crashed my car. Into another car. Hit the accelerator instead of the brake at a junction. Then hit it again really hard (thought I was slamming on the brakes) and activated the turbo on my 2.5l automatic, and slammed into the poor other car. Needless to say I was absolutely mortified, incredibly upset, and thankfully DD and I were unhurt, she didn't even cry. The car, however, is a mess. Undrivable.
I was taken to the local police station and given hot drinks and reassurance until DH could come and get me. The coppers were lovely, even when the mother of the women that I crashed into came in to shout at me about how her daughter already had problems and was on medication, which resulted in more tears from me. I didn't get her registration number so have to phone her too at some point , which I feel really awful about doing, as will probably end up in tears again.

Before all these shenanigans I had my 7DPO blood test done. Results due on tuesday. On a positive note, I have not had any spotting yet, and as I've not been on the progesterone cream this month, that's pretty good going.

Anyway, essay over. I hope you've all had a better day than I have.

Rushing off to SWI but sbf so sorry to hear you've had such a crap day but thank goodness you and DD are both okay. Hope that tomorrow is a better day for you both.

Thanks dita, a much better day today although just found out that my car has over £5k of damage
Fingers crossed your swi was fruitful!

Pleased to say no spotting yet, and my temps went up significantly this morning - hoping that I'm going triphasic! Either that or that my progesterone is kicking in due do my dropped feed. Either way, its positive if it carries on tomorrow.

Just sticking my head around the door to send an un-MNetty hug to SBF. You poor old thing.

Sorry for my overshare - next time I'll just stick to "Didn't want to read and run".

Yay for the temps and fingers crossed tomorrow.

I have a +ive OPK today (I think - forgot to check it so had more than the stipulated 5 min, but it'll have to do)

SBF - That sounds like a bloody horrendous day. Sorry to hear about the car damage too. Good news about the temps too. It sounds like all your hard work is paying off.

Dita.

Thanks guys