TTC whilst breastfeeding support thread - join me to share your ups and downs!

[smallblackflowers]

Hi!
A little about me - I'm pushing 34, have a 10 month old DD that I'm still breastfeeding and really want to conceive no.2 asap!
I am on my second cycle since AF returned and am temp / CM / CP charting using fertility friend and have OPKs!
I ovulated on day 29 of my last cycle, and am on day 21 at the moment.
Have been having fun and games with very fertile signs over the past week, so lots of BD, but no ovulation, poor DH is full of a cold and not feeling very energetic but I keep insisting that he perform until my temps go up

So anyway - hoping that there are others out there in a similar boat who can help to keep me sane and hopefully share some good news in the coming months.

welcome meggiemo

to answer your questions a bit of science! The usual luteal phase length (the time after ovulation and before AF is on average 14 days, in reality it varies between 10 and 16 days. So in a 48 day cycle the latest you likely ovulated was day 32. However, most cycles that go over 35 days are anovulatory.

After ovulation your dominant hormone is progesterone, which often causes sore nips / tender breasts, this is the one of the hormones which dominates in early pregnancy and also the cause of sore boobs then.

If you read back at the beginning of the thread someone talks about the 3 staged return to fertility when BF, it might help make sense of where you are at the moment!

Some positive news - a friend of mine who is BF a 10 mo announced that she is pg today, obviously very but also pleased for her, and pleased for an other example of pg being achieved whilst BF

Thanks smallblackflowers for your info - congrats to your friend. I can't tell anybody that I want another as DH only agreed to no.4 after much negotiation and he is adamant that there will be no more!! There is a massive gap between the first 3 and no.4 though, so 1 more would even it up a bit. Complete novice at cycles, temps etc when bf as only fed briefly before. Have made it to 1 year now which is great but not much help for no.5. Have read most of this thread now so good luck to everyone else.

Oops sorry Meggiemo, missed your post before

Think I must be on cycle 7 by now, but have lost count a bit!

smallblackflowers; TTC#2; Cycle 4; BF 13 mo DD; age 34
DitaVonCheese; TTC#2; Cycle 7; BF 18 mo DD; age 33
Alibaba; TTC#2 iminently; BF 20 mo DS; age 32
LPsmum; TTC #2: cycle 3; BF 16 mo ds; age 32
QueenFee TTC#4 No AF yet BF 9 mo DS; age 28
iloveholidays; TTC #2; No AF yet; BF 12mo DD; age 29

graduates

Birdonthewing: TTC#2; Cycle 6; BF 15 mo DD; age 34; BFP 16/3/10

Mazel tov lilysma!

Well, suggesting graduation was way too premature I think. Temp down this morning (still above coverline but lower than it has been), did another POAS and it was even more faint than yesterday. Had crampy feelings all night (didn't sleep well as you can imagine!) and now spotting is starting again, although it is light.

I assume AF is on its way and I'm having an early miscarriage . I kind of wish I hadn't tested yesterday now. I know it's good news that we did conceive but it's much more of a loss to know we were almost there than just AF arriving IFSWIM.

DD decided to chose today of all days to have a tantrum on the way to nursery so ended up sitting in the street with her bawling and me trying not to bawl with people asking us if we were okay. Not my finest hour.

Now at work and wondering how long I can last before sobbing in my office

AM OVER THE MOON FOR YOU Lilysma! Although I know only too well how those initial feelings of elation can suddenly give way to extreme anxiety about the pg. FWIW, I had a very very faint line to begin with. Followed it up with a digital test, which was unequivocal. Am v pleased to have some company on the graduates' list. Makes me feel slightly less uncomfortable about own my flukey graduation ;)

Meggiemo and raspberryknickers - welcome! Meggiemo, as sbf said, my posting on 18-Feb mentions the 3-stage return to fertility hypothesis. The theory is that, after the return of AF, it can take a few months before fertility is fully re-established (the length of time varies from person to person). It is thought to return in stages: (1) Follicular activity but no ovulation (or in some cases menstruation without ovulation); (2) Ovulation with luteal phase defects; and (3) Luteal competence and a return to full fertility - when BF no longer has an effect on fertility. Apparently having periods without ovulating (known as anovulatory cycles) are more common during the first 6 months post birth. If AF is back and settled into a reasonable pattern it is thought that BF is no longer likely to be having an affect on fertility. As I said some time ago, I found a lot of helpful stuff at www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html. Well, HTH.

My bleeding has abated somewhat but I am still spotting every day. Had a reassurance scan yesterday which showed that my little bean is still hanging in there. The bruising/haematoma appears to have resolved, so just hoping the spotting will stop soon so I can actually start to enjoy this pregnancy .

Crossed posts bird. I'm glad your bean is hanging on in there and the bleeding is slowing. It sounds really hard. Hope it sorts itself out soon.

Oh God . Am sure I should just stop posting on this thread as I think I make everyone feel worse

Lilysma, I started to write my posting hours ago, when I first got up, but DD has been incredibly difficult and clingy this morning so I've had to abandon attempts several times. Only got round to finishing/posting it now and didn't refresh page before posting. Sorry for terrible timing and apparent tactlessness.

I know it's not much help when you are where you are, but am trying to see positives here: your temps are not below the coverline. FWIW (again) I continued to chart temps post BFP and I had a few major dips. It was torture (eventually decided to throw away my BBT). It is just possible, is it not, that this could be the tail end of your implantation dip??? If not, then as you say it has got to be a positive thing that you conceived (but I understand the feeling of loss - believe me I do). I really hope that all is not lost (remember what I've been through with my diagnosed miscarriage only 2 weeks ago!) but my thoughts are with you nonetheless. Hope you get through the day in tact (it's ok to go and have a sob in the work loo!).

Thanks bird I didn't think you were tactless or anything - just one of those things!

Thanks also for reassurance. You are right, it could be okay, it just doesn't feel that way for some reason! I think it is the waiting that's torture . I know you understand and are still to some extent going through it yourself. Please don't leave us (the thread) unless you want to. I don't think anyone is likely to feel that you are making anything worse and it is good to have someone 'on the other side' who understands the anxieties etc.

Am managing not to sob so far, but the loo beckons fairly frequently

Thanks Lilysma. It's so tempting to feel that one is saying all the wrong things and constantly putting one's foot in it , especially on such an emotive issue as TTC. I'm sure I come across the wrong way 90% of the time!

I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Over the last few weeks I've been through this whole thing of not wanting DH/friends to induce hope, in case there was none, so I'm wary of doing the same to you. Nevertheless, spotting and a dip in temperature at this time may well be consistent with implantation - which may just be taking a little while to complete - so don't give up hope yet. Plus, the blood from implantation can take a while to work its way out. There is hope. Have you considered doing a digital test in a few days time perhaps?

Either way I hope you are managing to keep your spirits up.

Bird you really have not put your foot in it and have been very supportive and understanding! I don't think you have come across the wrong way at all.

I survived the day at work without sobbing too much but have become increasingly convinced that I've had a 'chemical pregnancy' . All the signs seem to point in the same direction IYSWIM, so I don't hold out much hope. I just wish AF would arrive now and put me out of my misery. It seems so stupid to be so upset about this. That'll teach me not to test until AF is well overdue!

Am trying to focus on lovely DD and the positive that we did conceive again.

How are things for you?

Hello! I might be joining you in a few months so do you mind if I lurk?

I am bf 15 month old dd with no sign of returned periods at all. I don't even know if I can join this thread without them!

I am getting a bit anxious about my lack of periods. We plan to ttc once we've moved house but I'm getting worried that I'm going to be one of those women who can't get pregnant until their dc weans.

Anyway, I shall go back to lurking and hope that you've all graduated by the time I come to join.

lilysma and bird big virtual hugs to you both.

Hulla - of course you can join, no periods required! Tell us a bit more about yourself and your DD's bf habits and maybe we can make some suggestions to help your AF return - most of us (well, I speak for myself) seem to have bad googling habits and encyclopaedic knowledge of TTC when BF.

Thanks smallblackflowers.

Dd is 15 months old. We cosleep and she still feeds at night - not much these days but more if she's teething. I work 3 days a week so she goes about 10 hours without nursing on those days. If I'm home, like today, she feeds to sleep/if she's hurt/ upset etc.

I don't want to wean her or have to deny her milk really. Maybe I'll be desperate enough if I am still without af in 12 months time!

Glad to hear that obsessive googling is acceptable as my habit is really ramping up!! I have also read Roni Weschlers book & have been looking for signs of returning fertility but not found anything to get excited about yet!

Thanks sbf and welcome hulla and meggiemo.

Am a bit self-obsessed and pitying ATM as definitely lost my very brief pregnancy today - BFN this morning followed by AF . Have been trying not to sob in front of DD all morning, but felt a bit more phlegmatic this afternoon. I guess it is ups and downs. What's bothering me is the thought that it might take another 9 months to conceive again, let alone get the bean to stick.

The double whammy is that now that AF is slightly late, DH will probably be away during my fertile time this cycle .

Oh well.

Hulla I have the same fear as you, that I won't get preg until DD weans. She is now 3.4 though and have no idea how to get her to do it...

Well, I'm a barrel of laughs tonight, aren't I ?

Oh, lilysma (hug). I am so sorry.

Thanks

Oh lilysma I'm sorry, I just waded into the thread without reading the recent posts. It was very insensitive of me to waffle on like I did, sorry. I hope you're feeling a bit better today x

Don't worry, Hulla, I don't think we tend to 'tune into' a thread until we get to know people on it. I wasn't offended! I'm okay. Sad, but able to start moving on now it is clear what has happened.

lilysma I'm also very sorry xxx

Hulla I reckon that taking Agnus Castus helped to kick start my AF - or it could just have been coincidence...but anyway, DD was about 8 mo, I started taking it, and about 3 weeks later AF returned. I get mine from Holland and Barrett.

Hi Lilysma sorry to hear bad news... it is so hard dealing with getting so close and then blooming AF turning up. If no chance to BD this month maybe it'll give chance for acupunture to have more of an effect!
I've decided its going to happen for me over the summer... My theory is DS will be more active so feed less and sleep better. Well they're all bound to wean themselves eventually anyway - we hope!

Thanks smallblackflowers I have searched for info on it and can't believe I hadn't come across that sooner.

I have an op in a couple of months but if AF hasn't returned by then I might start taking it afterwards. Have you seen any affect on your supply? I don't know how I'd know if it reduced my milk - I thought it worked on a supply and demand basis. I might do some more googling.

Hulla I didn't notice any change in DD's feeding habits, so assume no change to milk supply. From what I researched googled some say that it can be taken to increase supply and others that it can cause a reduction. As a BF peer supporter, I am led to understand that once your supply is established you're pretty much ok with whatever is thrown at you, its the early weeks where anything and everything can effect your supply.

Hello!
I posted a few weeks back and am in a similar situation to Hulla with AF still not returned. Interesting about taking agnus castus. I just wondered whether it helped AF return but not necessarily ovulation? Some googling needed from me today I think!!