How long did it take you to conceive aged 34+?

[terrier141]

Ok Im 34 - I have 2 dc's aged 10 and 8 but would desparately love to have another within a loving relationship. I am not ttc at the mo because circumstances are not right, am just starting to panic that I might be running out of time? What do you think? If I do find the right circumstances how likely is it to happen and how long is it likely to take? Any advice appreciated, thanks xx

I agree barkfox age is a big factor unfortunately, but the OP can conceive and carry a baby to term so that is promising. She is still relatively young compared to lots i know.
OP I think you need to see your GP and ask for some basic blood tests to start with. Find out if you are still regularly ovulating.I understand your concern that 34 is getting on a bit but really as long as everything is in working order you have several years yet before you need to panic. Obviously try and be healthy, eat well etc but that's mainly for your personal benefit. I don't honestly believe that diet/smoking/drinking etc are the main reasons that women find it difficult to conceive. I'm sure they play a role but there is far more to it than that.
FWIW i dont eat particularly healthily, have a bmi of around 30 and have been known to enjoy a few drinks. I had my 4th DC at age 42.
The other factor which is obviosly worrying as we get older is the quality of the eggs we have left and the chances of chromosomal abnormalities in our babies. But then again you are still not that old!!

True saladfingers - OP is 34 and already has 1 DC, which is a more positive scenario than many enjoy, and I think would encourage me if I was in her position.

(Congrats on DC4 at age 42 btw!)

I have never felt smug about falling pregnant quickly. I believe I was very lucky.

The op was asking for experinces of older mums. I was just answering. Had she asked about having a child with disabilities I would have answered that too.
So no, not smug about pregnancy and childbirth

Thanks barkfox I'm also very lucky to get pregnant so easily considering all the obstacles in my way.(I hope i'm not coming across as smug as that was never my intention) However i'm absolutely terrible at labouring and delivering. My body seems to have forgotten how to do it. I managed a natural if long delivery with DD1 11 years ago but last 3 have had to be induced. My waters go and my uterus fails to contract. I'm very lucky to have had access to intervention techniques as i'm in no doubt that many babies and mothers in the past have died in childbirth under these circumstances.
The technology is advancing every year. There are amazing new drugs and proceedures being developed to help with fertility problems. But if you dont seek help then you have to rely on 'luck' alone.

pagwatch if you're reacting to my post I think you're being over-defensive, wasn't pointing any fingers on any posters here; just saying that in RL if you are struggling to conceive you can encounter a lot of comments that in your sensitised state you can interpret as smug.

AND of course just as there are all sorts of people some actually ARE/intend to be smug. And it can sting to the heart of your womanhood.

Age 34 - within a week.

I am not over defensive, can't honestly see that my post reads as defensive but there you go - I was just explaining as it was raised.

FWIW if people are concerned that quick to fall posters may be being smug it might help to know that their lack of issues re getting pregnant does not mean that they are leading a tribulation free life and are actaually very far from smug.

OP, we conceived our daughter when I was 34, she was born when I was 35. We ttc but not very hard for a few months, and then the first month we used OPK's, I got pregnant. Even though it only took 4 months - I thought those 4 months were hellish, but they are nothing compared to the monthly sledgehammer that hits me each time my period arrives these days.

Therefore I would like to point out that having a child already is not always a good indication that you will be able to conceive again. Otherwise I'd be surrounded by a little clutch of gorgeous children by now. Sadly I am not.

I am now 38, we've been ttc no 2 for 21 months with no joy. We are both fit and healthy, do not smoke, drink little and are of a healthy weight. We seem to have been struck by secondary infertility and it is more common than you think - I think the stats are 1 in 5 couples will have trouble conceiving a second child. In fact I am sure I heard that statistically, secondary is more common than primary infertility. Of course, 'statistics' can be made to say just about anything you like.

I am now awaiting an HSG, DH has to do a sample and we are starting down the 'medical intervention' route. And I am NOT relishing it.

My advice OP would be that if you are desperate to have another child, I'd get on with it sooner rather than later. You may be one of the the lucky ones who falls at the first month (and lets hope that you are), but if you are not, at least time is on your side to get help. Good luck!

Am 33, came off the pill in June, and 7 months later, still trying...

I don't know if I'm abnormal but I conceived at age 40(!) while taking the pill. My dc4 is 18 months now and I'm still getting over the shock!

ds, 37, 5 weeks.

Argh I am 31 and quite a few of my friends who are over 34 seem to have conceived their DC2s a lot quicker than me . I am on cycle 9 for DC2 and DS came after 3 cycles. It was just 2 years ago. I would get going as soon as possible if another baby is what you want.

One of my friend's is 36 and she winds me up by telling me that her DH was annoyed she got pregnant first go as he wanted more practice. Think my DH would just be happy to conceive what ever cycle. Oh and she does know I am TTC and have been for a while!!

I was 36 and it took 6 weeks. I was gobsmacked. I had expected it took take about 18 months. If at all.

five cycles of trying, started at 38, resulted in a mmc. 3 months later conceived dd.

Re falling quickly and being smug, here's my story: I went without contraception with DH1 for 18 months. I was young, he was desperate for a baby & I went along with it. Nothing, so I assumed it would never happen. We split up.

I married DH2 when I was 34. He insisted he wasn't ready for children, but he agreed to me 'giving it a go' after the wedding, sure it wouldn't happen anyway, given my record. We went off on honeymoon and I took a positive test 15 days after the wedding, but I'd 'known' for a week. It turned out to be twins.

OK, some notes: falling pg quickly meant that we were both in shock, with no time to enjoy our married life together or mentally prepare for parenthood. My pg was VERY stressful because DH wasn't ready for such a big change, the responsibility etc. (But now he's a fantastic dad). Having two babies at once, health probs associated with low birth weight & them being in SCBU, then looking after them with no relatives to help was also a rollercoater and not at all as I'd imagined having a baby.

I read up a lot of stuff about twins. One theory is that leading up to the menopause, a woman's body can start throwing out more eggs, so you've actually got more of a chance.

HTH

Hi Terrier

I started ttc at 34, and I am 38 now and still no joy. I think it's good to have an overall picture of the realities of conception, so you don't just sail through life assuming you will be up the duff at the drop of a hat. However, I would always always recommend optimism - there is no reason to think that things won't work out well for you!

What I would say, though, is...get started asap, unless there is a particularly strong reason why not, and go to the GP asap if you don't get pregnant within a year at the very outset, so that you can get on with treatment in the (less likely) event that you need it.

I just kicked my heels for about 20 months, but I regret that now, as it can take so long for treatment to come up on the NHS that you can run out of time for funding, and all the while your natural fertility is decreasing. Throw a couple of miscarriages into the mix, and that can wipe out 6 months to a year of potential treatment time.

What ever you do...good luck! And don't spend all your time ruminating on concerns re. fertility, otherwise everyone will go relentlessly on about how you will never get pregnant if you stress out about it....and then you will have to kill them, and no one wants to do that!

Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences with me. I think i have got a more balanced perspective now. I'd scared myself with the statistics, and many of your posts have shown that Im not irrational (as I believed!) for worrying about the fact that statistically things werent looking that promising. However, there are many of you that have been successful and that has given me hope that there is still time for it to happen - so thanks to everyone for your replies.
All I have to do now is find the right partner.......................!

Started at 35 in 2003, finally had DD3 at 41 in August 2009. So six years.

Hi all,

I am 35, came off the pill in Feb this year (after 17 years of being on it), and nothing happened until last month.

We wondered if we were actually "trying" and what that meant... so, without being too crude, we made sure we "did it" (sorry, cringe), every day from day 8 of cycle to day 19. Have just found out i am 5 weeks and 2 days! Whether it is fluke, timing or what I don't know but keeping everything crossed that all continues to be ok. It's my first pregnancy so a bit anxious and so hope everything will be ok.

I'm 34 (35 in a month) and 38 weeks pg with number 2.
It took us two months to fall pregnant. Same as it did for DS1 when I was 31. I know we are lucky though.

I've had 4 pregnancies (3 after the age of 34):
#1 was an accident when I was on the pill. We were very young, having lots of sex and alcohol. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was having a miscarriage as I took the pill back to back (so I could have sex throughout the month).
#2 DS conceived during our first cycle of trying, which we weren't expecting but was a pleasant surprise.
#3 first cycle trying but resulted in miscarriage at 8 weeks
#4 conceived first cycle after the miscarriage and still going strong at 20 weeks

I'm not super healthy. I'm active but not sporty. I drink too much wine and have the occasional cigarette. I think it's genetics and luck!

We started trying to have a baby when I had just turned 40. I got pregnant the first month of trying. Unfortunately I miscarried at 8 weeks. I had one more pregnancy at 40 (again first month of trying) that ended in a miscarriage. I then got pregnant when I was 41, again in the first month of trying, and that resulted in my daughter.

I have several friends who also started their families in their 40s - two of them have had 2 children since turning 40, the rest of us have just stuck at one. And pretty much everyone I know who has children had them over 35.

I'm 32 DH is 31. We used condoms before so no birth control hormones to mess up my cycle, I have normal 29 day textbook cycles. We are healthy non smokers. My mum conceived four children without trying.

We have been trying for 10 months now with no luck for our first just feel like it's never going to happen.