The First Time Frolickers! More stories of TTC#1. All welcome!

[ImmaterialGirl]

A new thread for the First Time Frolickers and anyone else who wants to join in.

If you have been lurking for a while then now is the time to join!

Onwards for more BFP's!!

Kkas- Good luck on the CA bar! It's such an awful experience. I hated waiting for results and had an eyetwitch from stress from September to November. At least you have TTC to distract you . I can't even imagine dealing with both at the same time!

Did you go to law school in the US? My DH is from the Czech Republic and we sometimes talk about relocating to Europe, but I'm intimidated by the prospect of becoming eligible to practice anywhere else.

My history does make me read a lot more into everything my DH does. I actually spoke to him just a bit ago. The baby thing is fine, it's the possibility of semen analysis that he's not into. I really hope we manage to get pregnant before we have to get into that. He'll end up doing it, but he won't be happy about it.

Hello there aly and kkas - I''m a lawyer too!

I do mainly defendant insurance litigation, not the exciting criminal stuff.

I'm in a similar situation in that DH would probably be fine if we never had children. He is basically ambivalent about it and I can't imagine having to broach the subject of semen analysis with him!

He knows he will be fine if we do have a baby, but we have finally, after 6 years, paid off all our loans and got into a decent financial situation (mainly down to him) and he would like more time to enjoy ourselves and go on holidays and things.

But I'm going to be 32 in a couple of months and I just think we can't keep on living as if we're 25, especially if we want more than one child.

So basically I am doing the "trying" and he is just going along with it. I haven't involved him at all in dates, or best times to shag. He doesn't refuse though and obviously the decision we had about me coming off the pill was mutual.

Funnily enough we would love to live in the US. When we lived in the UK we would go on holiday there a couple of times a year and just love everything about the place. It's just so hard to move there though.

So many lawyers on one thread! Ozzie, it's too bad we can't just trade places for a time. I would love a break from criminal law. It's exciting, but it can be too much sometimes. Congrats to both you and Kkas for paying off the loans. I can only dream of the day- and I've been practicing and paying for almost 7 years. I'm just accepting that they'll be there for 20 more years. Then I can start paying for my child's education!

It's good to hear that other people's partners are similar to mine. I know he's going to be great, he's just not that into it right now. I can't wait to see what he's like after we actually get pregnant, and especially after the baby gets here. He's already made it clear that he has no intention of being in the room during the birth. We'll see....

I've often thought adult work exchange programs would be a good idea!

Men are funny things aren't they? You hear in the news about these feckless types getting girls knocked up all over the place, yet my secure DH, with a good, relatively well paid job and happy marriage would be fine if I said I had changed my mind and didn't want children.

I think his thing is that he sees how some people turn when they have children - never doing anything "fun" and bowing to their child's every whim.

Years ago, before we were married, we (foolishly in hindsight) went on holiday with his friends and their two children. It was hellish - it was this dreary caravan park in France, everything took hours because of the kids and we had to stay in playing monopoly in the evening and being quiet so the kids could sleep.

I think that has stayed with him and haunted him ever since.

Morning everyone,

Sorry for everyone whos AF had arrived over the last few days

Well we are just starting the good time of the cycle, lots of legs in the air although now have no idea when I will be ovulating due to late period last month, but we are going for the shagging every other night (we may well be v tired if I have another 39 day cycle! )

My partner is similar, he wants children at some point but is not really bothered right now. He is younger than me (only a couple of years) and I think that make a difference.

On that subject fulham I hope your bf has seriously made it up to you.

Morning all,

agree with zippys hope your DP got you those flowers fulham!

All these lawyers! Funnily enough, I was saying to DP the other day that I'm considering jumping off the academia rollercoaster and retrain in law. I might have just been having a bad day though...

Ozzie we also have friends with kids that we often spend time with, and it does sometimes make you think whether you're really up for this. Their kids are all boys of the 'really boisterous' kind though, so I've decided we're only going to have girls!

I think I'm quite lucky in that my partner is very much into the idea of kids, and very supportive. In fact, I would have been ok with waiting a few more years (initially, now that we've decided I want to get on with it!), but he was keen. He is a bit older than me though, so that makes sense.
It's a bit unfair sometimes -he's an academic too and has had a decade of working all over the world, different interesting projects and different universities, and now he can settle down. Biologically I don't get that choice. He has however promised that in a few years when (hopefully) the kids are here he'll take a year off and we can go live in whichever interesting place I manage to land a research project

Morning girls.

I feel really bad complaining about my DP after reading these posts.

aly- First of all I would like to say its soooooooo nice to hear from you. It must be so hard trying to get through this on your own because your DH is not supportive on this situation. Youve only been trying for three months hun so im sure there is nothing wrong what so ever in that department and plus stress plays such a big part in concieving and youve been through so much and it also must play on your mind about DH as well which cant help. Try and talk to him but I know how hard it is to talk to DH's especially on a tender situation. Im sure you will be fine though babes an if he see's how much this means to u he will be more than supportive. As I said its only been three months and its been full of stress as time goes on im sure he will see how much this means to you maybe at this time he doesnt relise how much you want it.

ozzie - I didnt relise u were in that kinda situation as well. Im sorry to hear that but as I said to Aly prob the more time that goes on the more he will see how much it means to you and the more he will be supportive. You both are very career minded they are prob not used to the mumsy side lol!!

Good luck to you both. I think your all have BFP before xmas hits anyway thats y im sticking with guys as I want to go through this journey with you all ive never met such nice people in my life.

imma - zippys - Never got my flowers in the end just a sorry which he never says sorry very stubborn and yesterday he said to me we cant have a relaitonship like this cause im so tired I sleep alot. I can understand where DP is comming from so was nice to have a long chat last night and sort things he did hurt me with what he said though!! Hesent me a text this morning saying he has never been more happier in his life and how much he loves me so im a little more relaxed!! These hormones make you feel the worse ever your on a high or on a low its horrible as u guys will find out very soon.

Any more news guys?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ozzie i do insurance defendant litigation too. what a coincidence! boring though, isn't it? hehe. pays the bills i suppose!

aly that's good that you spoke to DH. I also know what you mean about spending time with other people's children as it can be quite exhausting and really put you off. that's exactly how i felt til about a year ago when my sis had a baby and i completely fell in love with her and decided i wanted one too asap. i think it's always different with your own children, and of course, you are the boss to make your own routines, etc. you don't have to let having kids ruin your life, although of course it is a big change.

imma training in law is definitely a big commitment, and the career is not as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. finding a training contract for qualifying in the uk can be very stressful and competitive too so you should only do it if it's what you really want i think. that's great that your DP is so supportive and also wants to give you the opportunity to work abroad. such an adventure!

fulham as always thanks for your optimism for us all having bfp's by xmas. it really keeps me going! sorry to hear you're feeling so tired but glad that you have made up with your DP.

no news today except a really sharp pain down there and continuing to have some CM. have no idea whether i ov yet or not and DH has been away all week, so there have been no legs in the air in our house!

oh well - onwards and upwards girlies!

here's today's list:
Sevans TTC#1 cycle 1 UCL? CD98
bluesnowfalcon TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL31 CD55
Aly323 TTC#1 Cycle 2 UCL 30 CD47
Sky27 TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL 24? CD35
YorkshireTeaDrinker TTC#1 Cycle 11 UCL 28/29 CD26
kkas TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL28 CD22
Ladyemmalou83 TTC#1 Cycle 3 UCL26-42 CD20
ImmaterialGirl TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL25 CD15
Spirael TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL28 CD15 (Post MC)
Curlycasper TTC#1 Cycle2 UCL? CD13
Zippys TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL34-39! CD9
Ozziegirly TTC#1 cycle UCL 27 CD8
fotheringhay TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28? CD8
CJ2007 TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL26/7 CD7
pixiestix TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28 CD6
claireinthecommunity TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL29/30 CD3
Confuseddoiordonti TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 27-28 CD ?
TishTosh21 TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL? CD?

Graduates:
Trying4Baby1 BFP 21Aug
Kaystar BFP 27Aug
Pepperonipizza BFP 12Sep
Fulhamgirl BFP 18Sep
Catni BFP ?

Hey aly, I'm in the US too! If not earlier, your DH will probably turn around once you become pregnant and it hits him that he is really going to be a father. It finally hits some men when the baby is actually here and then the baby has the father wrapped around his/her finger! I just think sometimes guys maybe never feel 100% ready to conceive...like they are waiting for some big sign to tell them they are ready! It's up to us to drag them along on the ride, ha! My doctor told me that she wants DH to get a semen analysis so I had to break the news to him. He wasn't excited about it AT ALL but understands that it needs to be done because we could potentially be wasting time if we just assume I am the only one with an issue. Hopefully he has nothing wrong but it's better to find out early on if there is a problem.

Anyway, lots of babydust to you all!

Hi everyone, I'll get my apology in first as this is going to be a miserable me, me, me post!

I feel like shit, I'm tired and grumpy. Period is super heavy, have just got back from Tesco where I bought loads of different sized boxes of tampons (ok, one regular and one super, but I only used to need regular!). Another bottle of wine did manage to find it's way into my trolly, together with a chocolate and vanilla cheesecake. Will be spending the rest of the day lazing on the sofa or in bed. The end.

(Good to have you back aly )

claire no need to apologise. That's what this forum is for -sometimes everything just sucks. It's good to complain!

I hope you're enjoying the chocolate and cheesecake and wine as much as possible. I think the MN motto is 'this too shall pass' -sometimes seems like scant comfort, but it is true!

Just remember that statistically we will all have BFP's by xmas...

and aly, sorry I didn't say so in my previous post, but very good to have you back. Sorry you've had such a horrendous time. I really hope you're doing better now, and glad to hear it sounds like it.

xxx to all

Thank you Immaterial, I had a little sleep and feel much better now

Still got the cheesecake to dive into and we're enjoying a glass of wine each at the mo (will be rationing the wine tonight - don't want to get into bad habits!)

ahhhhhhhh cheesecake!!!!! Now I want cheese cake, although I have the stomach ache from hell so not sure it would be wise (maybe apple pie would be ok on it though?) Claire sorry AF is being a cowbag to you, enjoy your glass of wine and cheesecake

I have now entered the dreaded 2WW . I had convinced myself that I wouldnt symptom spot, but now DH is starting to get excited about it all, so even before I OV he was asking can I test yet. He is now fully aware that there will be no testing for 2 weeks. It is very lovely to have him interested for a change.

I think you're right about men sevens . My Dad said that he was totally ambivalent and had to be talked into having me.

He was the first one to see me as I was born by EMCS. He said when he drove home that evening he was in tears and it was the happiest day of his life.

I have always been a total daddy's girl and we are still really close now and always have been.

kkas that's interesting that we do the same type of work. I don't mind it - although it depends on the place. I used to do solicitors'and accountants' negligence and hated it, it was so boring.

Now I do a variety of stuff from big catastrophic injury cases to construction claims, fire and flood claims, all sorts and it's a lot more interesting.

Plus in Australia you go to court for the slightest thing, so I am in court about 3 times a week which I enjoy, whereas when I worked in London we tended to do the smaller things by consent or over the phone. That hasn't caught on here yet.

I second that immaterial - I don't think it's a very glam career either! I do like it, but it's nothing like TV (mores the pity).

Sorry sevans not sevens

Thanks everyone for the welcome backs!

Claire I'm very, very sorry af has hit you so hard. It's bad enough when she arrives, much less in such a bad way. I'm so craving Wine and cheesecake now. I love cheesecake and could do with a few gallons of wine right now.

I think many men are just like my DH. I see him with our pets and nephew and know that he'll be amazing. I also know that even if we had a child accidentally, he would never say he didn't want it. It's just really important to me that he be on board, too. He has assured me that he is. He has actually been a real sport about the whole thing.

What really seems to get to him is the financial aspects (costs of preschool, etc) and a fear that he won't be "good" with the baby. It's funny because I'm usually the worrier. Especially when it comes to money.

Sevans, what part of the US are you in?

The way I try to see it with our ambivalent men, is that at least if they expect the worst, they may be pleasantly surprised.

If they are all for having a family and have a rose tinted view of what it will be like, the reality may come as a nasty shock!

My DH also worries about the financial implications. I guess it's good as he wants to be the provider and make sure that we have a comfortable and secure life.

I guess it's daunting for them because it's not really in their control. Plus men I think often are in a "if it ain't broke, why fix it" frame of mind. I know DH sees that we are happy, have a nice life etc, so why risk bringing in another factor which may change it for the worse?

Morning everyone,

Claire I hope your period is a lot better I know how you feel. This month as you know was horrible for me and all you want to do is curl up in bed! (with chocolate and wine )

Let us know if you do have any symptoms Ladyem, it is lovely how good your dp is being.

My dp is like Ozzie's and alys he is worried financially, I am an accountant and so far been very career focused getting high up the career ladder at a relatively young age, however this has always been so I could work hard when young and then have babies

Fulham I am glad to hear things are better with your bf, I just hope the tiredness is not too bad, make sure you are getting plenty of rest.

I was ordering some Christmas presents yesterday (I know very sad and orgainised!) and so the thought of us all being pregnant by Christmas really hit home how soon that could be, lets keep our fingers crossed.

ozzie i also did solicitors about a year ago, but have since changed jobs and do more D&O/FI stuff now. although my biggest case at the moment is a brokers e&o case which is killing me. don't ask me how my boss thinks we can review 100 files of documents before a mediation statement is due in two weeks. guess it will take my mind off the TWW!

claire sorry to hear your AF is so bad. hope you enjoyed some you time yesterday.

sevans good luck with your testing coming up!

i am starting to think i didn't ov this month (or at least not yet). last month it was obvious cuz i had all the post-ov progesterone symptoms of heavy boobs, water retention and weight gain. this month my boobs are the smallest they have been in years (as well as my waistline, which i'm not really complaining about). but i feel really dried up and like nothing is happening. guess i'm still only on day 23, so i'll see where i am next week at this time i suppose. my trip to the states just got cancelled (due to horrendous document review - see above) so at least i'll have this weekend to bd just in case ov is still to come? just wish i knew what is going on!

Sevans TTC#1 cycle 1 UCL? CD99
bluesnowfalcon TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL31 CD56
Aly323 TTC#1 Cycle 2 UCL 30 CD48
Sky27 TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL 24? CD36
YorkshireTeaDrinker TTC#1 Cycle 11 UCL 28/29 CD27
kkas TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL28 CD23
Ladyemmalou83 TTC#1 Cycle 3 UCL26-42 CD21
ImmaterialGirl TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL25 CD16
Spirael TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL28 CD16 (Post MC)
Curlycasper TTC#1 Cycle2 UCL? CD14
Zippys TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL34-39! CD10
Ozziegirly TTC#1 cycle UCL 27 CD9
fotheringhay TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28? CD9
CJ2007 TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL26/7 CD8
pixiestix TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28 CD7
claireinthecommunity TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL29/30 CD4
Confuseddoiordonti TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 27-28 CD ?
TishTosh21 TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL? CD?

Graduates:
Trying4Baby1 BFP 21Aug
Kaystar BFP 27Aug
Pepperonipizza BFP 12Sep
Fulhamgirl BFP 18Sep
Catni BFP ?

Hello everyone, feeling much better today, thank you for all the supportive messages. Strangely funny really, period was at it's heaviest yesterday (CD3) and today it's barely noticeable, not that I'm complaining - just odd...

I did briefly welcome you back aly and I'm sorry to hear you've been going through such a tough time. What you said about your dad hit a chord with me, I'm not close to either of my parents and have been coming to terms with the state of our relationship recently. My own desire to have a family and imagining what that may/will be like (or at least how I would like it to be) has brought up (as I see it) my parents own short comings as parents. I wasn't terribly abused or anything but their influence on me growing up has affected me very negatively. Meeting and marrying DH and settling down for the first time, has brought me to a position where I can look back and see how their behaviour and actions resulted in a very unhappy individual (me).

Life is very good for me now (hence the TTC!) It's been tough recognising my parents for who they are but it has made me see who I was and why and I now have the ability to move on and become who I want to be

I too worry about becoming a parent, I certainly don't want to give my child the issues that I ended up with. As I and you are so aware of how we were (and still are) affected by the behaviour of others (parents) I'm sure we will watch our own behaviour and reflect on how we are doing as parents, kind of like a continual voice in your head (don't tell anyone about the voice though - they may lock you up )

I'm sorry you felt that your dad didn't want you - that is very sad.

And as for ambivalent men, well yes, my DH was one of those. I've been broody for about three years now and for most of that time he has not been keen on the idea, with finances being the main culprit. Admittedly, we really were not in a position (financially speaking!) to have a baby. Within the last few months he's been showing much more of an interest, coincidently, we've come to the end of two large loans this year, so it's definitely had an impact on him.

Sorry about the long and mostly me, me, me post again, sometimes it helps to write it all down, I hope It's of some use to you all too!!

oooh another odd period claire - more good company! Glad you're feeling better. Sorry you've been having a tough time aly. You two have made me really reflect on and be grateful for my parents, and realise I probably took their good parenting for granted. So thanks for the much-needed kick up the bum!

I worry a lot about the practical issues - the money and childcare etc, and about my own abilities as a mum. I just know DH will be great because he's spent so many years working with kids before his current career and is a really laid back person - in a good way. So, another blessing to count. I won't go on.

On the TTC front - I have no bloody idea where i am! So, from the attempted military precision of last month, I'm just trying to grab him every couple of days. Although I haven't seen him since yesterday morning and won't till tomorrow morning.

Temps wise, my thermometer never seems to get a solid reading. yesterday it climbed and climbed until thermo shut itself off after 10 minutes. I've ordered a new one. But it's probably me and not the thermometer that is broken!

Hope you are all ready for a good weekend.

I've been a bit slack in checking and posting lately, sorry about that. I think I'm heading for the 2WW now though and will endeavour to show my face a touch more.

No idea when/if I've ovulated... But I've been grabbing DH every other night for about the last week, so if it happened then I was ready! And he doesn't get a break yet, I've got him pencilled in for duty until at least the end of next week, just to be sure.

Sorry to hear about the bad AF claireinthecommunity. Sounds like hopefully it'll be over soon though!

There are so many people from abroad in here! Mind you, I can't talk... I'm currently working on emmigrating to Canada.

Oh, gotta run! DH needs rescuing from the station.

Hi all,

Sorry to hear about your horrid AF Claire, hope the cheesecake worked.

Like Curly I'm reflecting on how fortunate I am in having the supportive parents I have. My dad died 10 years ago and, although I still miss him to bits, I'm soo grateful that I have a lot to miss - he really loved me and my sister (in a very non-demonstrative, English sort of way !). And now I have a great step dad, who I know will be as thrilled as my mum is going to be should we ever manage to produce a grandchild.

Aly i was so to hear about your dad's attitude. But I agree with the previous wise posters that blokish lack of enthusiasm for having kids does generally disappear once they meet their offspring in person.

I'm showing signs of PMT at the moment so am expecting AF tomorrow or Sunday. My early testing last week (and again yesterday )did nothing other than reduce the 2WW to 1WW. So I've already resigned myself to starting again for another month.

Hope you didn't get an unwelcome visit this morning Yorkshire -as we say, it's not over til it's over...

Spirael good to hear from you, hope you're doing well.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Today is sevans' 100th CD! I'm not sure what kind of emoticon that calls for... Hoping the meds will kick in very very soon!!

Sevans TTC#1 cycle 1 UCL? CD100
bluesnowfalcon TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL31 CD57
Aly323 TTC#1 Cycle 2 UCL 30 CD49
Sky27 TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL 24? CD37
YorkshireTeaDrinker TTC#1 Cycle 11 UCL 28/29 CD28
kkas TTC#1 cycle 2 UCL28 CD24
Ladyemmalou83 TTC#1 Cycle 3 UCL26-42 CD22
ImmaterialGirl TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL25 CD17
Spirael TTC#1 cycle 3 UCL28 CD17 (Post MC)
Curlycasper TTC#1 Cycle2 UCL? CD15
Zippys TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL34-39! CD11
Ozziegirly TTC#1 cycle UCL 27 CD10
fotheringhay TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28? CD10
CJ2007 TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL26/7 CD9
pixiestix TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL 28 CD8
claireinthecommunity TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL29/30 CD5
Confuseddoiordonti TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL 27-28 CD ?
TishTosh21 TTC#1 Cycle 1 UCL? CD?

Graduates:
Trying4Baby1 BFP 21Aug
Kaystar BFP 27Aug
Pepperonipizza BFP 12Sep
Fulhamgirl BFP 18Sep
Catni BFP ?

Blimey 100 days. Ive hit 87 before but never 100. I agree with Imma, I hope the meds kick in soon. Fingers crossed for you Sevens.

Hope the nasty witch kept away YTD.

I have entered the 'Zits' phase of my cycle, my face looks like a volcanic mountain range. Plus lower back is rather delicate today, and lots of lower cramps. This probably always happens, however during the 2WW Im clearly more alert to it.