PAINFULLY broody

[Bobbins]

Simple as that really. Just went down the road to get a pint of milk and saw this bloke putting his maybe, four month old baby in the car. I felt horribly jealous.

[kaz33]

Ah yes, but you weren't looking at the bags under his eyes.... or the sick on this jumper...

[Bobbins]

True

But it was such a nice little bundle, and he looked like a right bruiser, but all kind of gentle.

Sorry, I am potentially a baby stealer, after losing my little boy.

That is totally untrue by the way. I am still a trusted baby sitter. goodness knows why!

[SamboM]

Poor you Bobbins, I can remember feeling exactly like that. It took me 4 years to finally get my dd (now 8 months) and I used to feel like that a lot. It didn't matter if they looked like cadavers and were oozing vomit from every orifice, I still thought they were lucky.

Now she's 8 months I'm feeling it again - no 2 here we come!

[SamboM]

Sorry Bobbins, I had no idea. Have just read a bit about what you've been through. You are very brave and I'm not surprised you feel jealous.

[Bobbins]

I'd much rather deal with the puke and excrement, rather than the big gaping hole. There were so many smiles and joy, and so much love and hope.

Sorry, I think I'm having a bit of a bad day.

I'm not feeling that bad really. Just a big green jealous thing! but life really is OK.

[interested]

Bobbins

Sorry for being so naive - but what is your situation? You say you lost a baby - was that your first and when was that.
You are obviously feeling rather sad at the moment - and with so much "trivia" going on in all the thread I don't want to trivialise your suffering

[Bobbins]

SamboM> no worries.

Between this site and mainly the excellent support I have received from so many people, I have got through it, so far, as best I can, and, I suppose, relatively unscathed, and feeling strong and positive. It's still incredibly hard sometimes, and often it's the silliest little things that set me off.

[SoupDragon]

Sending hugs your way, Bobbins.

[SamboM]

Can't imagine what it must be like for you. As you say all that happiness and now nothing.
Thinking of you.

[kaz33]

Sorry Bobbins

[Bobbins]

interested> my little boy died just over a year ago. He had pneumococcal meningits and it went un diagnosed after many visits to the doctor.

yes, he was my first and only. I'm sure if you do a search on my name, if you are really interested, you'll find more detail.

I have used and abused and been wholeheartedly gratified by the support I have received here.

[Bobbins]

yuk...looks like I'm looking for attention, yet again. I'm not. I just REALLY want another baby!

[Bobbins]

kaz> not a problem, honest!

[SamboM]

Are you trying for one?

[SoupDragon]

I didn't think you were looking for attention, Bobbins!

[Bobbins]

I'm sure its something we all feel when we want another baby, knowing how wonderful (and dreadful at times) having a child can be. All those exciting, but difficult, new experiences.


And all the different stages. I feel like I'd be starting from scratch, but even more scared perhaps, if I even manage to have another one.


It is so much hard work, but I found my experience incredibly rewarding, even though it didn't last.

[Bobbins]

SamboM> I'd like to be...but my silly ex couldn't cope with my feelings I think...he bailed out...so now I am with someone who has never had a child, but actually seems much more responsible, but doesn't feel ready for bairns. I've been concentrating on my career for the last couple of months, and that has been working really well, but I want to make a go of having another VERY soon.

catch 22...I really do love the new partner.

[janh]

Awww, Bobbins, have been wondering where you'd gone - can and can't imagine how it feels for you to see someone else with a baby and wanting yours back - Harvey always sounded like such a treasure.

I know you will get there again - just a question of time and circumstances - do go on laying your grief on us, won't you? (It's what we're here for.)

xxx

[Bobbins]

Anyway> I really love seeing people doing lovely things with their kids. Looking through the jealousy ...it really warms the cockles of my heart as it were. That is why I started the thread....perhaps. I don't want to go over old ground!


I so heart the "things kids say' thread!!!

[Bobbins]

janh> I was looking back ove old thread I've been on earlier, and realised all the great feedback from you that I haven't responded to, but felt like it ewas too late to resurrect now.


Just wanted you to know...I appreciate it, and look forwards to communicating more, and sorry if I didn't look like I was responding. My Mumsnet addiction is slightly sporadic, and sometimes I have to "walk away from the keyboard"!

[Bobbins]

correction....over old threads

[Mum2Toby]

Isn't it lovely bobbins - that thread has been making me laugh all day!

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but you're story has touched everyone that has read it I'm sure. And one day I hope you have another bundle of joy ... or 2 and that you can watch them grow up and have loads of children of their own!

In the meantime... loads of hugs and I hope tomorrow is a better day.

[Bobbins]

Mum2Toby> its great. I read them out to my office mate!

Now....this is a horrible confession...but I have to say it, and hope it doesn't sound snobby...or looking at my own motherhood through rose tinted bi focals...but I feel so SAD when I see nasty types treating their kids horribly...I can't STAND IT....EUGH...


Realise the gift you have...FOOL

[Demented]

Loads of hugs Bobbins.

[dot1]

oh Bobbins - lots of love and support coming your way - I didn't know about your loss until this thread. Hope your wait for a baby isn't too long.xxx