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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Everyone around me is getting pregnant. I just want to cry.....

45 replies

LaCerbiatta · 19/05/2009 12:12

My best friend told me today she's pregnant... and she was trying not to. Two more friends got pregnant when they weren't trying... Is it a joke??? Should everyone really just stop trying??

I've been trying for 6 months (I know it's not a lot), but my cyccles are all over the place and I don't think I'm ovulating... I'm on cd 31 and got another bfn yesterday. God knows when AF will come.... probably on day 50 like last month... The most annoying thing is how unsympathetic everyone (or those few people who I actually talk about these things with) is, specially stupid gp and dh

OP posts:

mamamila · 19/05/2009 16:54

oh dear, this thread caught my eye as i'm 26 wks and have just spent day with 2 dear friends who are desperately TTC. one friend has a long history of fertility problems and eventually conceived her dd after giving up on treatments completely, she's been trying for a year now and i feel horrible to be such a visual reminder for her but she's a great woman and i'd hate our friendship to suffer. she totally in 'the loop' on pregnancy though and so we talk about it a lot, although i feel ashamed to complain too much about MS and now back pain. her DH is taking supplements to boost sperm production too
the other friend after 6 months TTC is now starting to stress and has started using a daily pee stick to pinpoint ovulation, we also recommended she temperature take too.

just wanted to add support and say that your pregnant friends will be feeling for you, everyone wants you to be pregnant too

Tigresswoods · 19/05/2009 17:39

Hi there, your thread title resonated with me too. Although I am only 28 we have been TTC for 18 months. I now know I have PCOS and have been on Clomid for 2 cycles. Also got blood test results today to say that I did ovulate this month- thanks to Clomid- this is a great step forward for us.

However, I know how you feel, not many of my friends are TTC or have children but the 3 that are/have all "got pregnant the first month of trying" which is so not helpful to hear and they all seem to think it is really easy as it was for them. I have no one to talk to really so this forum is great. DH is fab too but I think he is sometimes a bit overwhelmed.

I just want to cry too sometimes, especially when the friends (mentioned above) all ask how it is going and clearly have no idea. I've been invited to one of them's baby's 1st birthday next month and I have now got to the point where I don't think I can consider going, very sad but true.

I know (hope) it will happen soon but its just the fact that it is a constant thought in my mind. I am CD 27 today of a 35 day cycle so should know more by the end of the weekend.

What else is there to say?

pinkypanther · 19/05/2009 17:53

Hello. This is how I feel too. In fact have been fighting back the tears all day today as am absolutely fed up (BFN this morning) - it is so rubbish isn't it?

Not wanting to highjack your thread but me: 30, PCOS, TTC for 12 months, one MMC (February 2009). 7 months without a period last year, only one period in 2009. On CD50 today (and counting...) and can't even start Clomid as no AF!

Hope things improve for you soon. Remember there are a lot of us on here in it together [waves at Tigresswoods and others on here - really useful tip about charting BTW!]

Tigresswoods · 19/05/2009 18:03

Ah pinkypanther, a lady going through the same as me. When i first came offthe pill back at the end of 2007 I went a LOOOOOOONG time wihtout a period and then when I got one there would be huge amounts of time between them. V frustrating.

I got myself checked for PCOS and clearly have it. At the same time I went on the GI diet, have to say am a good height/weight ratio but was told it can help and do you know why but I started getting more regular periods. I now have cycles lasting 30-35 days and was able to start Clomid.

Not sure of your situation and am clearly not able to give medical advice but going on the GI diet has either worked for me or been a massive coincidence. Also the food is lush and DH has also taken to it. I Don't follow it religiously but have cut out some BAD things like CocaCola (except with the odd Bacardi!) and generally things like chips.

Speak again soon and I hope your situation improves.

pinkypanther · 19/05/2009 20:14

Ooh - thanks TW. Will have to look at the GI diet as an eating plan but not as a diet IYSWIM - my BMI is 20 and I was told for aaages that I was too slim to have PCOS

Tugamommy - hope you feel a bit better having vented on here. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is pregnant and it's a bit of a slap in the face when people go on and on about how they fell just by looking at each other...

I am trying to keep my chin up with friends and colleagues because I don't want to be the mad old witch person that people are scared to tell about their pregnancy! If that makes sense.

Ailz · 19/05/2009 20:33

Cupcakefairy, I read earlier on in the chart that you wait for the temp to surge and then have intercourse. however after much reading on Fertility Friend online it says that once the temp surges it shows that ovulation has already occured and that it is too late for intercourse!!!!!!!! i am just writing this so that you can do your own investigating. good luck, hope it works for you.
Tugamommy i would definitely recommend charting for you because it will give you more of an idea of what is going on in your cycle, cutting out the guess work. and more importantly you will be armed with a chart when and if you do need to see a gynae. it will save time! we know time is precious! I too have a 3 year old dd, conceived first time, but second seems trickier. we are doing investigations (ttc for 18 months plus) however just to add my twopence worth, i think 6 months is very short ttc-time. it is a life time to you and i yes, but not medically. my advice chart, temp and ovulation predictor kits 14 days before period due (difficult i know) for a couple of months and then get investigated. you could try and get appt first as these things take time to come up unless you go private. good luck!!!

Ailz · 19/05/2009 20:39

Pinkypanther, you know they can give you some pills to bring on a period (god the name of them is gone from my head! - someone else will know!) it is a contraceptive and is usually given to people who want to take clomid. you may know this.

Tigresswoods · 19/05/2009 21:51

Pinkypanther- same! I am about 23ish BMI so use the low GI thing as a sensible way of eating, nothing else. What do you have to loose?

cupcakefairy · 20/05/2009 10:03

Thanks Ailz - I know ovulation has already ocurred by the time of the temp rise, but the egg is still viable for 24 hours- I was just oversimplifying when I said the surge is time for bd... you should start bd every other day from when you start getting more fertile-type mucus and until after your surge if you're trying to conceive. (My DH and I have practised Natural Family Planning for 3 years as our way of avoiding pregnancy too )

Pinkypanther I can totally relate to the 'mad old witch' thing! I really don't want people to feel they can't talk to me about babies or pregnancy cos I love all that stuff! So it's good to be able to talk on here

Original poster

LaCerbiatta · 20/05/2009 12:06

Hello everyone!

Well, I'm feeling a lot more positive today. Yesterday was just dreadful! To make it all worse my mother called me in the evening to tell me about two neighbours that are pregnant and about my cousin's new-born baby! I felt like throwing the phone out of the window!

But, I know now that I was pre-menstrual, because AF arrived today. I'm actually happy about it, at least I had a normal length cycle!

I also bought the fertility kit from boots, which I'll use for at least this first month. I know that once you get the temperature rise it?s already too late, but at least it will be reassuring to see it! I?ll also be curious to know when in the cycle it is happening.

Well, new cycle, new start?. Good luck to everyone and thank you for your support!

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Original poster

LaCerbiatta · 20/05/2009 12:13

mamamila: thanks for your post, it's good to hear from someone on the other side as well.

I totally understand about not wanting to be the mad witch, cupcake, that's why I don't discuss ttc with anyone. If people ask me when I'm having a second one(and they do bloody ask all the time!)I always say that it's not the right time and that we might start trying in the next year. I feel like such a failure! I suppose that's the part that dhs don't get, isn't it?
I made the mistake of telling a friend at work tha I had my coil removed and now, everytime I feel slightly unwell, or hungry, or not hungry, or anything, she'll always ask 'so, is it kicking yet?' and 'you and your hubby have to put more effort into it'....It drives me mad! And I know she means well, but unltil she's in the same situation, I don't think she'll understand...

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mamamila · 20/05/2009 18:47

thanks, i just posted on impulse but i wondered aftwards if i'd done the right thing..

good luck!

Ailz · 20/05/2009 21:35

Cupcakefairy oh thank god you knew that, i just thought what a waste of all that lovin' if that is what we can call it at this stage!
Tugamommy I am starting to think that those people who are phoning me to tell me about newly pregnant people are doing it to hurt my feelings which is stupid. and as for the people asking when you are going to have another child, well my postman asked me the other day!!! i barely know the guy except to open the door for the odd parcel! he is lucky he didnt get that parcel across the head! no, of course i nodded and said 'oh yes hopefully some time in the future when we are ready' grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ailz · 20/05/2009 21:47

Pinkypanther it is called ProVera!!! it came to me. maybe you know this but it is a contraceptive that brings on a period, so that you can start your cycle and take clomid etc.
good luck, hope this helps

pinkypanther · 21/05/2009 19:55

Thanks Ailz! I am going to see my GP on Wednesday next week so I will talk to her about it then.

Hope everyone else is well and feeling ok today.

pinkypanther · 22/05/2009 11:06

Update from me - AF arrived last night (on CD54 I think) and am now in negotiation with DH about Clomid. He doesn't want me to take it yet and wants to try again for one more cycle. I have threatened to take it anyway and he says that if I do then he will refuse to BD with me this month!!!

If I do start taking it then might see some of you on the Clomid thread...

Tugamommy - we must be pretty much in synch now so let me know how you get on this month.

Ailz · 22/05/2009 22:52

pinkypanther congratulations on AF arriving! What are we like eh! one thing i was wondering, why does your dh hate clomid so much? I took it myself for 4 rounds, mostly ok, some headaches, just very exaggerated symptoms of everything. heavier bleeding, strong ovulation pains (which are kind of handy actually, but a bit painful). It took a bit of a toll on my skin though. My skin does not need much encouragement to break out, but the clomid left it very dry around the jaw bone area, i mean really bad, still is about 6 months later. just something for you to think about if you have slightly dodgy skin like me! which most people dont, lucky them.
Good luck with it all and you may just have to be extremely seductive and irresistible and he will have to give in to your charms!!

canttouchthis · 24/05/2009 11:37

my DH feels that constant reminders of 'babymaking' puts him off sex so I don't even mention the B word. I'm doing the reverse psychology this month and saying to myself that it would be the end of the world if I fell pg! hoping it works...

Good luck and hope things change for you soon.

Ailz · 24/05/2009 16:11

yes we have to be very conniving and scheming us ladies!

Original poster

LaCerbiatta · 26/05/2009 09:06

Hi pinkypanther! Yes, we are in synch aren't we! Good luck with the Clomid, if you do decide to take it.
I have an easy week, only have to commute for 2 says, so hopefully will be bding enough! Am feeling very hopeful this month, which is not good for disappointment!

Anyway, good luck to everyone!

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