Assisted conception and the bits inbetween Part Two!.......

[spook]

Hi everyone.
New thread starts here....

Well done to your clinic - they are truly lovely if they have said that. Looking at my clinic's tarrif, you would only have got £200 back plus refund of HFEA fees etc, so am very impressed with your clinic indeed.

I so know what you mean about your DH being the strong one - my DH is a sunny optimist, and I find it very odd and difficult when he isn't like this.

Hope the pains don't get too bad or last too long. Will you take anything for them?

Spook - I'm so sorry darling, that is so rough. You must both be so upset...what a waste.

Bad news from me ladies too. No goer I'm afraid, sac had only grown a bit and there was nothing in it. Thinks it might be that I'm not producing enought hormoned to support a BFP because there didn't seem to be much activity in my ovaries etc...
I'm ok, don't think I had much hope if I'm honest but DP is pretty gutted - as far as he was concerned he was going to be a dad - end of...that's what you get for being positive - bless him.

Thanks for all your kind words x

Spook, that is so good about the clinic. Sorry you have lost the money for the drugs. Is there anything left that you can use for the next round? It made me cry thinking about you and your DH lying there being all upset. Mind you, you can't beat a good cry to help you cope.
So sorry about this, but good things to come I'm sure.
Mowmi, I'm so sorry about the scan. I was very hopeful for you. You sound as if you have prepared for this, you will have to be the strong one for your DH won't you.
What is next, will they look into the hormone levels to see how you can make the embryo stick and develop?
Lottie, eew you will have to have that thingy, what's it called..erm...sex!
It's not so bad once you get going. You never know...!
Are you revising for your counselling course this weekend? Only one more day to get that homework done.
I haven't contacted anyone yet, have been out most of the day, but will be sitting down tonight to write some emails.

Oh Mowmi. Buggar fucking bollocks. I am so so sorry darling. I too had every hope. You are sounding incredibly strong. I feel for you an your DH such alot.
I think the only way to get through it is to look to the future, try and be positive and have quite alot of wine.

Thanks to everyone else for checking in. I've just got back from the hospital. DH looks terrible His blood pressure is very very low but we managed a lovely cuddle what with drips and oxygen and scar tissue and my tummy.

My cramps are quite unbearable now actually. When I had my ectopic it ruptured and bled into my bowel, and now whenever I have cramping it is absolute agony right in my bum. So much so that I can barely sit down.
The nurses must have been looking at me wincing thinking I was barking...DH was the one in a gown.
We had a lovely sunny chat about holidays and where to take the boys for a big adventure this year. We were planning Costa Rica but not so sure now with the earthquake. Just nice to think about something different and dream away under such horrible circumstances.

Lottie-I would love your Menopaur. Thankyou so much. I think you are right to go for the long protocol for reasons I've already said....work taking your mind off the 2ww mainly!
Hi RB-are you writing those emails....we will know if you slack off you know

Spook I am so sorry to hear your news, and yours Mowmi. Both be kind to yourselves, I hope your other half feels better soon Spook.

About Cysts and IVF. They will aspirate it before you start taking drugs (the procedure is a bit like egg collection. You don't really want a cyst when you are PG, unless it cannot be helped as you have to be carefully monitored and it can cause problems.

OAP Glad to hear you are hanging in there - yes I am quite attached to my consultant if not the clinic, but being out of London with DS at nursery it is almost impossible for me to get to London. Whereas if i can do IVM it is apparently only 2 appointments and Oxford is not very far from here. Plus it may actually work for me!

((((((mowmi))))) ((((((spook & mr spook))))))))
(((((((what the heck, I'm in a huggy mood and I think we need it - everyone)))))))

Is there some retrograde star shit going on to hit two people in 24 hours!

Mowmi - so, so, so sorry sweetie. I am going to go for the silver lining with this bad news. In some ways, at least they think there may be a hormonal problem that is preventing you from getting and maintaining a BFP. if that is the case, then they can do something about it and as they do with me, give you loads of hormones for the first 3 months to help sustain everything. (I have no ovaries). However ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to you and DH, you must be gutted after all you have been through and the waiting. I really hope the next time is your time.

Spook - ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) to you and your family also. You must both be in some emotional whirlwind right now. I can't imagine how devasted you must both feel about the past few days. I am glad your clinic is doing the right thing. take care of yourself as well as your DH.

thinking of you both xxxxxxxx

Just my thoughts flibberty.

You lovely ladies have made me feel so welcome - I'm so sorry you are going through such tough times. Hugs to you and your dhs (gentle hugs for Mr Spook).

We had a long discussion the other night about our options. DH is in process of ditching the smokes and wanders around the house in shorts most evenings to chill the swimmers . These things can only help our chances but I feel like I'm heading for my 41st b'day in the summer (and yet another statistical plunge) at the rate of knots.

Can I just ask how you girls went about choosing a clinic? It seems like such a minefield and the cost varies wenormously. I am in South London if anyone has any recommendations...

Oooh - and just to ask one more question - can you expalin the abbreviations to me?
Ec? tx? FSH? Am an ignoramus!!!

Take care everyone.

I don't think I could add anymore than everyone has said. mowmi , spook you are in my thoughts.

spook I am so glad that your DH is OK and that they found the problem.

Bless both your boys for their shared grief and support.

HUGS ALL ROUND

Mowmi I am really really sorry to hear your news, I had my fingers crossed for you today.

Oh and patience I can't help on clinic recommendations but am sure someone else will be more local and able to help

I chose my clinic back in 2005 on the basis of excellent published results on the HFEA website and its nearness to me.

For the abbreviations......
EC - Egg collection during IVF
Tx - treatment
FSH - follicle stimulating hormone. For some reason this is the hormone that reproductive docs get all excited about as your level rises as you get older.

Ask away, we are here to help

Thanks so much everyone, I'm so sad but trying so hard! It's so tough... 2 of my best friends are very pregnant at the moment-neither has had an easy time of it, one is like a sister and had the worst time ever but... I don't know what I want to say... I'm just so sad...I'd be devestated if she read this - she has been a steadfast rock... I'm just really gutted and I think it's just hitting me...

Paitence I go to create in raymes park - I'm not having the best time but I do think they are wonderful.

Big hugs all (can't wait to get some puppy cuddles in!) Extra big one to spook and DP

X

Mowmi it is OK to be sad, and jealous of your dear friend or just not as happy as you feel you should be (jealous might be too strong a word). And this is the right place to express that. We all totally understand and it does not make you any less of a friend. they are just feelings.

Hang in there.

Sorry everyone for the massively self indulgent post.
I'm ok this morning (on train on my way in to work)I guess I feel like I almost got there and now it all seems so far away / impossible again! I guess that's what my friend thing is about - I'm so, so happy for them both but when I see them (we all work in the same office!) With their lovely baby bumps it makes me feel like it's still out of reach for me... Hard to descibe it's not jealousy as such... Oh you ladies know what I'm saying!!
We'd already discussed what next so the plan is to try again around May time. They want the us to wait for bleed, then another clear cycle before we try again.It's DH's 40th in april so I'm taking him to egypt to do the pyramids etc + a week on the red sea (he's obsessed with diving) I'm going to make an appointment for when we get back - best of both worlds for me I think... A good break, long enough to repair but plan of action too!

Thanks for all your kind words and support ladies.

Spook - how you both doing?
X

Morning all,
Hi Mowmi-what you are feeling is totally, perfectly natural and ok. My SIL is 13 weeks with an IVF baby atm. She called to tell me they'd had a 3d scan the other day (they're in Spain)...the very same day that DH was in hospital. I grinned and bared it but it still hurts (and they are my family and I'm so happy for them)
What you've been through is indescribably hard. You had it briefly then it was taken away. Be kind to yourself and resent away-its in your head, and it will go away eventually.
Look ahead to your holiday and your new cycle in May. And now they can target this hormonal problem your chances of success will be even higher.
I'm a real fatalist but I'm having trouble with the "everything happens for a reason" logic atm, I must admit!

Hope everyone else is ok today. Lottie I'll mail you this morning about your very kind offer.
I'm really crampy but strong pain killers are keeping it at bay. I'm going to go to the beach in a minute with the hounds-my favourite place when life is hard...good for the soul. I'm hoping that they have managed to get his BP up, and DH might be allowed home today. Wouldn't that be nice

Can I just say, you lot have been a bit of a lifeline for me the last few days.....you have really helped me get through a shitty and lonely situation. Thankyou for all the hugs (though if you could squeeze a little more gently please..remember my humoungous (sp) rack)

Lol-just had a text from DH "the fucker next to me is STILL snoring like a Bull Elephant seal"
I think he's feeling better.

It is very quiet on here today too.

Spook is your DH home yet? Sounds like he is ready to leave the hospital if his neighbour is bothering him that much

I too find it difficult to cope sometimes when friends are pregnant - and it seems they all have new babies or are pregnant at the moment. Sometimes I am genuinely pleased for them, especially if I know they have had problems getting or staying pregnant ( or if I actually really like them wholeheartedly) but there are ocassions when it is difficult. I think it is envy in some cases - when you hear women discussing which month they would like their babies born in, it is v difficult to not start ranting at them. But in mitigation, I've kept my fertility issues to myself and a few close friends who I know are also having issues, so I can't get too grumpy when people say tactless things as they don't know that I have issues....but it does seem as if the world is pregnant this month - I've sent 2 congratulations on your new baby cards out this week and have another 4 waiting to go in the next week or so.

Hi girls.
Where are you all???? I miss everyone.
DH came home yesterday afternoon with enough drugs to stock his shops. He's ok, just in an incredible amount of pain.
He's happy enough now though lying on the sofa watching the football.
I'm down today. Not sure why-I was quite upbeat yesterday. I just feel so sore and bloated (I honestly look about 5 months pregnant..my belly and boobs are absolutely huge)
I can't stop thinking about all that time and all those bloody drugs we pumped into my body. All for nothing.
And I know its nowhere near as bad as what most of you have been through. The 2ww with nothing at the end, and Mowmis AWFUL experience.
Just being a bit selfindulgent I guess. I will wake up tomorrow feeling a hundred times better I hope.

Crikey OAP. Thats ALOT of friends babies to contend with. I realise how blessed I am to have my boys. It all seemed so easy back then. People really have absolutely no idea of the emotional rollercoaster that is TTC. I know I didn't in my former life.

Mowmi-hope you're ok and managing a peaceful weekend.

Hey Lottie-are you stressed sweetie? Hope your weekends going ok and its not too manic xx
I'm going to have that large chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc now. That may put a smile on my miserable face

Hi Spook, you must be exhausted after the past couple of days, and your poor DH, I really feel for him. I hope you manage to get some rest tonight, I'm sure you will feel a bit better tomorrow and keep popping the painkillers, it will be a lot better soon.
Magnolia I just wanted to say thank you for the hugs, they were very nice and timely.
Have just eaten far too much home-made toffee (recommended to cheer you up Spook and Mowmi)which seems to herald the immanent arrival of AF (good). Sorry to disappoint Spook, I haven't contacted the clinics yet re the cyst, but will soon.
Sooty thank you for the info re the aspiration of the cyst, that is heartening.

Hmm toffee....sounds lovely. I had a phase of being addicted to the chocolate covered toffee from Thorntons when I was pregnant and walking past a Thorntons shop every night before getting the train. Yum.

DH has gone to London for the week now so DD and I are all alone for the first time in about 6 weeks. Feels very quiet at home

spook did you wake up feeling better today?

rowingboat any progress on your cyst? My clinic thought I had one at the first scan of a cycle after starting stims and got quite het up about it as I think they are a problem during a cycle as they will produce oestrogen and dampen down all the hormones you are taking. If you have a cyst before the cycle starts then they should be able to do something about it.

Lottie how was your weekend? Calmer than the last one?

Hi everyone, back from my short break. Really sorry to hear the news while I've been away. Big (or rather gentle) (((hugs))) to you Spook and Mowmi. Hope they can sort out the hormone issue Mowmi. Really glad that your clinic is being good about not charging Spook. If you're still looking for a break, I can recommend Yosemite - one of my favourite places ever.

I've tried to catch up with the last week of posts. I hope your aching ovaries are better now OAP, Pinkie and Rowingboat, unless it does mean you're pg in which case ache away . OAP only 2 more days before testing, fingers crossed for you. Rowingboat - have you found out anymore about the cyst?

NappyValley - really like your website. Unfortunately don't know anyone in your area to send your way.

Thanks for the welcome Bumpless and Flibbertywidget and hello Patience, NMM, Roseca, Soosy and anyone else I've not 'met' before. Hope Thursday went OK Roseca. Bumpless - Switzerland sounds lovely, I lived in Geneva for a few months in 97. I have told my parents, but I know what you mean about support. I told my mum I had some good news the other week and she got all excited - only for me to have to calm her down and say that my good news was just about my mortgage payments . I hope AF stayed away for you and you have good results from your FSH test.

LL your post about pg boobs made me laugh - my pg friend is already a G cup at 23 weeks and not sure where she's going to buy her next bra as G is as big as Marks go. I found your treatment breakdown for Patience very helpful. If you're still looking for a short break, I can recommend the place I just stayed in in the Cotswolds. Was just a room in a pretty village, but had it's own front door and kitchen - stocked with breakfast things, wine and chocolate.

I have my first appointment at NURTURE tomorrow. Got my bloods back and I think they're OK, except for a low neutrophil count. Was 1.9, only 0.1 below the normal range so hoping it was just because I had a cold when the bloods were done. Have googled and only seems to be a problem at

Hi all,

YHope everyone is ok and had good weekend. spook hope you are doing ok.

issy pleased your results came back ok, i go to the fertility clinic tomorrow lunchtime to get results and find out next steps. Af due between monday and wednesday so not sure if should test in the am any advice anybody