Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

ivf - try try and try again - and then, when you've technically given up, try one more time...

39 replies

bayleaf · 24/03/2005 21:25

Hi
I was a regular Mumsnetter many moons ago - before the whirlpool that is ivf dragged me off to an ivf related site and there aren't enough hours in the day to be addicted to more than one site! I'm not sure what made me return tonight - but all of a sudden I thought - I DO NOT want to read more ivf stuff, I want MUMSNET again!

I have a dd who is 4 and a treasure, we tried ttc again starting when she was 6 months as I was 37 - tried for a year, saw GP - tried clomid ( for no good reason with hindsight!) then after 18 months paid to see a specialist only to find that, despite the nhs saying it was fine, dh's sperm was utterly useless. It was ICSI or nothing. We started optimistically _ I responded well, plenty of eggs, grade 1 embryos - but no luck - cycle after cycle - until our 7th attempt last summer - when failure coincided with major surgery for my dad, my mum's death and dh having threatened redundancy! Technically that was when we gave up...
BUt of course in your heart you never really give up ttc - so I started seeing a Chinese Medical herbalist as I'd read such great things about CHM - accupunture and herbs every week - even persuaded dh to do it, thought that if there was a vague hope of conceiving I'd do pretty much anything. Then before Xmas, when dh had a new job I hit him with the 'I want to do another cycle' line ( having prefaced it in such a way that by the time I actually said it he was just relieved that I wasn't about to reveal that I was having an affair and leaving him!!!)
This cycle went even better than all the others despite me now being nearly 41 - fertilisation had been going down and down - this time we were back to 11 grade 1 embryos - and I got pregnant. I'm 16 weeks now.
I spent the first 12 weeks in a state of such nervous tension I was a wreck, I have never felt so screwed up in my life, so near and yet so far - the chances of miscarriage so high.... When I got to 12 weeks and my NT scan revealed a 1/8,600 chance of Downs I was just incredulous!!! Tempted to ask if I could have the body of a 16 year old to go with the odds! Needless to say the baby's heartbeat- which had been VERY high ( high 180s) came down 20 beats+ a minute in a 48 hour period ( I have a doppler at home...)
Now I'M incredulous - but very happy - tempted to let myself worry ( I've had 3 miscarriages before dd)- but then I remember what it was doing to the heartbeat and just think 'no!' what will be will be, I'll cope as and when, for now I'm just going to be optimistic and HAPPY'
So the moral of the story is - if you can find the money - just keep on trying as long as you can bear....and then some more!

OP posts:
wendy11 · 24/03/2005 21:38

Bayleaf - thanks for an inspiring story. We will get our dates to start our first attempt at IVF after my April af so we have it all in front of us. Really hope we have as sucessful an outcome as you although I don't know if I could keep going the way you have. It has really taken guts and determination on your behalf. On the other hand we have longed for a baby for so long and after the loss of our ds at 23 weeks (conceived naturally after 5 years of trying) I suppose I would do anything to hold our baby in my arms. You have given me hope for the future.

ChicPea · 24/03/2005 21:39

Wonderful news! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

pupuce · 24/03/2005 21:44

Hello Bayleaf - I remember you !!!!
Congratulations - I am SOOO pleased for you!

mancmum · 24/03/2005 21:56

I have seen you on the IVF board don't post but lurk there - a hangover from years of TTC.... really pleased for you -- you are an inspiration!

Pes · 24/03/2005 22:00

Bayleaf - a truly inspiring story. I am about to embark on ivf and honestly don't think I could go through what you have and still carry on. Very best wishes - keep us informed

moondog · 24/03/2005 22:02

Bayleaf..fantastic news!!!! Hooray!!
Wendy Praying that your wish will come true. XXXXX

aloha · 24/03/2005 22:02

Wonderful news! I remember you too. Welcome back. When is your baby due?

bayleaf · 25/03/2005 09:00

HI all - especially Pupuce and Aloha - it was nice last night when I logged on to see that there were still lots of familiar names, Pupuce I remember your advice and help so well from the early days of GF with dd - I kind of think of Mumsnet as haveing changed since then as its grown - but I was really struck last night by old the humour and camaraderie on the threads, there were lots of LOL moments which made me wonder how I stayed away so long,- you certainly get cameraderie on ivf sites - but humour can be lacking for obvious reasons!
I'm due, depending who you believe, on the 11th or 12th of September - I'm telling people the 12th as I just can't cope with thoughtless people doing ''oh no'' type reactions. Well to be fair that should read I WILL be telling people, as I've told the absolute minimum of people so far - but I'm so fat that when I go back to school after Easter I don't think I'll be able to hide it anymore.
Good luck Wendy and Pes - if you need a really good ivf site for advice then try www.carefertility.com
Ivf isn't fun - I always used to joke that next time I chose an expensive hobby I was going to make a better choice but as long as you realise that it might well take 3 goes, given likely rates of success, and prepare for the long haul ( prepare for the worst, hope for the best...)then it's frankly do-able, just expensive and inconvenient! ( and to think some people have sex, in the comfort of thier own homes, for free, enjoy it AND get pregnant - outrageous!)

OP posts:
Demented · 25/03/2005 09:24

Hi Bayleaf, welcome back to Mumsnet! Nice to see you again and huge congratulations on the pregnancy!!!

ladymuck · 03/04/2005 18:58

Another one here who remembered you - so glad that you've got here at last. I have 2 IVF ds's (though only 4 attempts in total), and still remember the rollercoaster. LOL at wanting the 16yo body though - mine definitely came through all the drugs looking a lot saggier! Many congratualtions and well done for having the courage to go for it (and talk dh into it!). Hope the next few months are thoroughly uneventful for you.

OldieMum · 03/04/2005 19:29

Congratulations. I am so happy for you. I have some idea of how you feel, as we finally got our beloved DD after six IVF cycles. All the best of luck to you.

renaldo · 03/04/2005 19:30

warmest hugs bayleaf
had a failed attempt myself just before christmas (have 3 already by ivf in notts) so feeling encouraged by your sucess!!

myfairlady · 07/04/2005 19:44

Yes Congratulations bayleaf, I wanted to ask you what the IVF site you were lurking at is, could you tell me the address?
I have one IUI and 2 IVF cycles behind me. My numbers are up, or so the doctors tell me. My FSH level at 15.3, I'm 39 and we really really want to have kids so much. It?s all rather heartbreaking. The result of both cycles were abnormalities in the eggs, one Downs syndrome diagnosed at 13 weeks (we had a termination, heartbreaking) and the 2 eggs collected last time were fertilized abnormally because they reckon the quality of the eggs was low, hence the wall lining thin and 2 sperms got into both eggs creating eggs with 3 sets of all chromosomes (serious abnormality)
I am now surfing like crazy trying to find answers to this problem. They say my eggs are fast running out and the ones I have left are not of great quality. I would really like to hear form anyone with a similar experience. Our options are egg donation or adoption. I would prefer donation as I would like to see my husband in my child. Prefable would be to keep trying with my own eggs but are the signs trying to tell me something or should I try to defy medicine? Coming to terms with never procreating myself is a bit of a shocker, and very fresh, only found out 2 days ago. If anyone has any answers or leads, thank you.

Sorry to be bearer of bad news rather than good on this thread. Maybe I should start a new thread? What do you think?

hunkermunker · 07/04/2005 19:49

Congratulations Bayleaf!

mears · 07/04/2005 19:53

Congratulations Bayleaf - I remember you too. Hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

morningpaper · 07/04/2005 20:14

Excellent Bayleaf, I am 15 weeks so very close in date. Congratulations! I'm not sure I'd ever leave my armchair if I had a doppler at home though...

bundle · 07/04/2005 20:20

brilliant news bayleaf!

myfairlady, i'm sorry to hear about all the problems you have been having, i remember you well from your posts re: ante natal testing. I don't have the technical knowledge to answer your questions, but hope that someone can offer you some advice, xxxxxx

SenoraPostrophe · 07/04/2005 20:24

welcome back, bayleaf and congratulations!

myfairlady · 07/04/2005 20:24

thank you bundle nice to hear from you

bundle · 07/04/2005 20:30

which clinic are you at btw?

uwila · 07/04/2005 20:31

Myfairlady, I remember your story well. Best of luck. Thinking of you...

Bayleaf, congrats!

myfairlady · 07/04/2005 22:26

this was at guy's hospital in london

bluebear · 07/04/2005 22:53

Fantastic news Bayleaf and welcome back - I remember you too.

Ruth21 · 08/04/2005 03:13

Bayleaf! Congratulations! We were on the ttc board together--it must have been two years ago now. My dd is now 16 months. You answered lots of questions so patiently and thoughtfully. I have wondered how you were getting on. So pleased for you.

(Have been through various names since then, but changed back for this!)

GRMUM · 08/04/2005 04:30

When I opened this up I was so hoping it would be you Bayleaf. I don't know why i remember you so well - I guess that you posts always struck a cord with me. Anyway many,many congratulations.
I realise you won't want to leave all your friends on ttc but hope that we will see you too!

Swipe left for the next trending thread