ivf - try try and try again - and then, when you've technically given up, try one more time...

[bayleaf]

Hi
I was a regular Mumsnetter many moons ago - before the whirlpool that is ivf dragged me off to an ivf related site and there aren't enough hours in the day to be addicted to more than one site! I'm not sure what made me return tonight - but all of a sudden I thought - I DO NOT want to read more ivf stuff, I want MUMSNET again!

I have a dd who is 4 and a treasure, we tried ttc again starting when she was 6 months as I was 37 - tried for a year, saw GP - tried clomid ( for no good reason with hindsight!) then after 18 months paid to see a specialist only to find that, despite the nhs saying it was fine, dh's sperm was utterly useless. It was ICSI or nothing. We started optimistically _ I responded well, plenty of eggs, grade 1 embryos - but no luck - cycle after cycle - until our 7th attempt last summer - when failure coincided with major surgery for my dad, my mum's death and dh having threatened redundancy! Technically that was when we gave up...
BUt of course in your heart you never really give up ttc - so I started seeing a Chinese Medical herbalist as I'd read such great things about CHM - accupunture and herbs every week - even persuaded dh to do it, thought that if there was a vague hope of conceiving I'd do pretty much anything. Then before Xmas, when dh had a new job I hit him with the 'I want to do another cycle' line ( having prefaced it in such a way that by the time I actually said it he was just relieved that I wasn't about to reveal that I was having an affair and leaving him!!!)
This cycle went even better than all the others despite me now being nearly 41 - fertilisation had been going down and down - this time we were back to 11 grade 1 embryos - and I got pregnant. I'm 16 weeks now.
I spent the first 12 weeks in a state of such nervous tension I was a wreck, I have never felt so screwed up in my life, so near and yet so far - the chances of miscarriage so high.... When I got to 12 weeks and my NT scan revealed a 1/8,600 chance of Downs I was just incredulous!!! Tempted to ask if I could have the body of a 16 year old to go with the odds! Needless to say the baby's heartbeat- which had been VERY high ( high 180s) came down 20 beats+ a minute in a 48 hour period ( I have a doppler at home...)
Now I'M incredulous - but very happy - tempted to let myself worry ( I've had 3 miscarriages before dd)- but then I remember what it was doing to the heartbeat and just think 'no!' what will be will be, I'll cope as and when, for now I'm just going to be optimistic and HAPPY'
So the moral of the story is - if you can find the money - just keep on trying as long as you can bear....and then some more!

Fantastic!!

Hope its OK to bump this - I'm sure there are other mn's who will be pleased to read the thread.

Hello bayleaf, I do remember you from days of yore, and I'm so happy to hear your good news! Many many congratulations!

hi bayleaf ... I certainly remember you from t'olden days and I am SO pleased to hear your news. I too am a veteran IVFer having taken 6 cycles to eventually get my dd - not as many as you but I agree totally with the 'try, try and try again' theory for long as you can stand it.

Congratulations

oh bayleaf, I am so happy for you! I have very strong memories of talking to you at a London meal - bootsale bargains, mothers, and more.
I am really sorry to hear about your mother, but know she had been ill for a very long time and your father had been caring for her. Hope he is on the mend, after his operation.

Welcome back to mumsnet, glad you are around and good luck for the coming months.

OH Mumsnetters - THANK YOU so much, I have to admit to having very wet eyes at all your lovely comments - I've been missing for a week or so -nothing bad pregnancy wise - just manic due to staff absence at work ( perforated appendix whilst in Delhi - mmmmm - not nice!)and then a long weekend away whilst dad had dd...MMMmmmm VERY nice!!!
Tigermoth and Batters - yes I have happy memories of the one meet up I got to, the feelings were mutual(!) but then what hit me about that meet-up was that so many mumsnetters are just really nice people in the flesh too, people that you just instintively liked!
OldieMum and cookie - I remember you well from the ivf threads, at the time you made me think postive thoughts - that you could have success even after multiple cycles - as inevitably you think after 3 or 4 that if it had been going to work maybe it would have done so by now....
I'm glad I was of some use Ruth and congrats on your dd - it seems a long long time ago since those days of just plain ttc'ing but it is nice to be remembered!
Morningpaper - hope to see you on a pregnancy thread soon! I'm trying to use the doppler less since Mears advised that it might not be good for the baby.
GRMUM - thanks for bumping me up! And it's nice to know that I wasn't always talking complete rubbish at least in your opinion!
Renaldo - I presume you were at The Park - I was too but 'satellite' at Leicester. I think they offer an excellent service, I feel lucky to have 'fallen upon' them - to think I nearly went to Bupa in Leicester!
MYfairlady - this is totally unscientific of me but in your position I would give the chinese medicine/acupuncture a whirl and do one more ivf before going to doner eggs. MY eggs were looking granular and fertilisation was dreadful ( 2 out of 14) on my penultimate cycle (and had been going steadily in that direction - then after 4.5 months of herbs/needles I get 11/13 fertilise, all 8 remaining after transfer good enough to freeze, I get pregnant - and the nuchal result is 1/8600 - so presumably the egg wasn't dodgy chromosome wise.
I thought about CHM about 3 years ago ( after a friend had spectacular success with it)and didn't do it as I half thoughtit was expensive mumbo jumbo - now I wish I'd done it sooner ( and the price does vary enormously - so always shop around...)The ivf site is www.carefertility.com
Thanks again everyone - particularly those who I haven't said hello to by name, for you kind thoughts, it really really nice to read the thread

bayleaf I caught sight of you on the starting school thread - and just wanted to say many many congratulations on your pg - I don't know if you remember me, we were going through IVF at the same time but I got lucky quickly (ds2 is now 17 months).
Wishing you all the best for Sept.

Congratulations Bayleaf, that's fantastic news! Come and join us on the September ante-natal thread - the more the merrier!

Hey - huge congratulations bayleaf

You were on the ttc threads when I joined mumsnet.

OF COURSE I remember you Elliot - and I remember being CONSUMED with envy when you got so lucky after a not great response - and I kept getting great responses and no pregnancy!!! Promise not to hold it against you now!!! ( or at the time actually !)
Hewletsdaughter - I remember you too - I'd like to remember that time as the 'good old days' - but it wasn't really!
I will make it to the september thread soon - nearly have a few times and always wimp out...

I know bayleaf - it still seems completely surreal that we managed to get two wonderful boys from a grand total of 3 embryos! I'm certainly not chancing my luck again... I have to say that it all seems a very distant memory now - I do feel almost completely healed from the experience and I hope that no 2 will bring similar resolution to you. Although do you now have frozen embies you have to decide about?
I've heard lots and lots of fantastic pg news over the last month - lots of friends who for various reasons looked like they might miss out on motherhood - 2005 seems like a great year for miracle babies!

I know this is an old thread - but has anyone heard from myfairlady? I'd like to get in contact with her.

Great story :)
I've been TTC for 5 years. Just had first ivf cycle now on the dreaded 2ww. Only 1 out of 15 eggs fertilised, so hopefully this one's a good 'un!