Reassurance wanted about trying to conceive at 34 to 35

[BunnyLover92]

Hi all, I'm just looking for some reassurance really. I'm 34 in August and myself and my husband had planned to be TTC by now. Unfortunately a few months ago he has a major vertigo attack and still isn't better, he's been seen by specialists and they don't have answers just it should get better in time. He works in the rail industry and is stressed about having to reapply for his role whilst he is sick as he feels he wouldn't perform well in an interview. He's also become very depressed as a result of being poorly for so long.

We've agreed he needs to be in a better mental state before we start TTC, I'm just looking for reassurance from people who have conceived at 34-35. We plan to be one and done. He's open to doing fertility tests at a clinic so I'm also keen to know if you think that's worth doing.

I'm concerned I'm going to be too old but I can see his point of view and how he's feeling.

I came off the pill at the end of October when I was 38 and was pregnant by late November. Not 34-35, as you asked, but proof that age doesn’t always prove a problem!

You might be super fertile or you might not be. Same as in your 20s. Hopefully you can try soon. I had my second at 36. I think Jo Brand had her kids at about 42 and 43

I had mine fairly easily at 37 and 39. The one at 39 was actually an accident, but a happy one. We were planning to start trying a few months after

Fertility is so individual though. I’ve friends who had natural pregnancies in mid forties, and friends who needed IVF in mid 30s. Not age related, just underlying issues, or unexplained fertility. I believe their tests came back normal, so I’m not sure the fertility tests are that accurate. Unless there is a clear problem, like low sperm motility or morphology

I conceived a healthy baby quickly at 31, had a miscarriage at 34 and another healthy baby at 35. I do have a couple of friends however who suffered with infertility in their 30s, one of whom eventually had successful IVF, and the other is childless. There are no guarantees.

Had ds2 at 35 with one ovary and one fallopian tube.

I started trying at 29 and 3 years later all I have had is losses and am now doing IVF. There are no guarantees everything will be okay, and the longer you wait, statistically the worse your chances. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I am very glad I didn't wait until 34 to start trying.

Many many others start trying 34 and beyond, and conceive quickly and easily. The problem is you don't know which camp you'll end up in.

I got pregnant just as quickly at 25 as I did at 35 (straight away) but as PP said, fertility is so individual.

It’s very common these days, I work in academia and so many people are having babies in 30’s and 40’s. I had my first at 37, second at 40. My obstetrician had mums well into their 40’s
i hope your DH gets well soon, my MIL had vertigo due to Ménière’s disease and a friend had it due to labyrinthitis, they both got well

How is he managing his rehab and have Epley Manoeuvres been suggested to your husband @BunnyLover92?

I don’t think 35 would make much difference for most women as opposed to 30 or younger. Fertility doesn’t decline too much until after that and only dips radically after 40ish (I think). It’ll either be easy for you to conceive or more difficult. It’s just if it’s more difficult you won’t have as long to explore other options.

Just to add this article may be useful for your husband too

@BunnyLover92 I know neither of my posts have addressed your question but wanted to offer info.

Fwiw, had my first baby at 33 and second at 37, so although your concern is not unjustified, many women are waiting later.

Wishing you both, all the best.

I had my first at 38 (ivf) although we both have known fertility issues and im currently pregnant naturally at 40

Mid 30s was the average age of a first time mum locally when I became a mum. It's probably about 38-39 now. The demographic is 50 mins out of central London. I didn't know very many who had trouble conceiving

Got pregnant right way at 37.

Most people will get pregnant naturally at 34/35. The main issue is if it doesn't happen time will be against you if you opt for fertility treatments.

I do know a couple who tried at 35 and after a year switched to adoption. In the wife's words "she didn't want to go through all the stress of fertility treatment and then end up without a baby anyway." They adopted a little boy and then later his brother.

I had my first child at 31 and second (which was a total surprise) at 39.
I literally had my coil taken out in October 2020, got Covid from husband a week later and then conceived the following week.

Why spend money on fertility tests when you can just start TTC. Just go for it! If you have the money then sure do a fertility test but if you want a baby then you need to get jiggy.

Here’s wishing you a baby soon

If you have never been pregnant before (together) well you have no idea if you can get pregnant. Yes age can have an impact but 1 person might get pregnant easily, meanwhile another struggles. One of my best friends was in the struggles camp, they started trying at 35, tests revealed there was no known issue, it took them 6 years and they eventually had a baby via ivf when my friend was 41. I got accidentally pregnant at 42 from unprotected sex once, the fertility cliff edge we are led to believe is not necessarily true for everyone. It's luck of the draw. I'd just get on with trying rather than having tests that might mislead you into thinking you have time to wait.

Yes and unfortunately they don't help, it's thought to be neurological rather than inner ear related.

This is reassuring! I'm in Bucks so not super far from London but where I am everyone's having kids early 30's. It's mad how a few miles can change it.

First month here, no issues.

Because my husband is sick and has clinical depression 😢 he won't until he's better

I had IVF for my first at 29, conceived my 2nd naturally at 35 after 3 month

I had child number 1 at 34, and number 2 at nearly 40

As others say, so individual but in general I think you can relax, it should be straightforward. For me I conceived first month of trying at both 34 and 37, but then at 40, nothing for 3yrs of trying, when I assumed it’d be straightforward with my previous fertility. Good luck and I hope your DH feels better soon.

We worried about the same thing but was ok in the end