How long did it take you to conceive your first baby?

[renovationqueen]

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been trying for our first baby since October 25. Both 30, I've never been pregnant - he had a pregnancy with an ex that sadly didn't go to term.
My last cycle was the first time I had used ovulation strips and they were positive 2 days after my app said. I thought this meant that I'd been misjudging my ovulation and that's why we hadn't conceived.
Then 8dpo I had some spotting that I thought was implantation bleeding and got really excited but sadly came on an unusually heavy period yesterday.

Feeling unbelievably sad about the whole thing and was just wondering how long it took everyone to get pregnant with their first children after starting trying. Starting to worry that it might not happen but realistically if I've been wrong about my ovulation dates this is only the first month of being accurate.

Any success stories would be greatly appreciated.

4 years (I was mid 20s) via fertility treatment in the end. I don't know what current advice is but 20 plus years ago it was alternate days when trying not just around ovulation. It is very early days and most will get pregnant in the first 12 months so try not to worry too much (I know thats hard). What's your general health like? Focus on that, taking the right vitamins and eating well. Put yourself in the best possible position for pregnancy.

Its so hard to not let your mind take over

I got a BFP on the 5th cycle of trying but this was my second month of ovulation sticks - unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage but very luckily I got another BFP three months after and praying for a good outcome this time 🙏

Not sure if this is a coincidence but thought worth mentioning… I did notice that both times I got BFPs we had done it the day before my peak and the day after my peak test

good luck 🍀

It took me eleven months, aged 28. Then in contrast I conceived DC2 first time of trying, and DC3 after about four months of trying. This was in the days before ovulation tests were invented, but I had a regular cycle so just assumed that I ovulated on or around day 14 and concentrated trying around then.

Wishing you the best of luck, and try not to worry as you haven't been trying long - I know it feels like ages though.

I hate to say this, honestly I do, but it’s really not been very long for you op! It’s still well, well within the ‘normal’ realms, altho I know it feels like forever!
it took 18 months to conceive my first and 2.5 years to conceive my second.
Personally I’m not convinced ovulation strips are the exact science they’re supposed to be, they’re good to confirm you definitely are ovulating I think, but timing when you sex around it can be a bit disappointing because it isn’t as straightforward as ‘have sex on that day, have a baby!’

Thank you for replying, we definitely could be having sex more generally but we're both so busy and end up exhausted in the evenings and we've probably been putting too much focus on the 'ovulation date'.

Both active and healthy BMIs, we try to eat healthily with lots of fruit and veg so hopefully doing all the right things. I think I just assumed it would happen faster but it's really helpful to hear from others about their experiences isn't it 💐

Thank you for the kindness everyone, it's actually so reassuring to hear people say that we haven't been trying for long because it does feel like forever!

Hi @renovationqueen I just wanted to jump on and say that I'm almost in the exact same situation as you. We're in our early 30s and have been trying since September with no hint of a bfp. I did use opks for a couple of months but I found it made me more obsessive and then more sad when it didn't happen so I've stopped using them. You're not alone and fingers crossed our time will come soon!

Hi @GladDenimGoose, thank you for the support it's nice to know that we're not alone! It's easy to think everyone else is just out there having happy accidents and getting pregnant straight away but realistically it's not like that for a lot of couples. Good luck and hope you get good news soon ❤

Hi OP. I was 29 when started TTC the first time and it took 8 months to conceive baby 1, 5 months number 2 and 11 months number 3.

I remember finding it frustrating at times, especially as you say hearing of so many accidental pregnancies.

We bought a conception lube called something like Sasmar Plus which apparently is meant to aid conception, maybe worth a try?

It’s great that you’re still relatively young and both in good health, that stacks the odds in your favour. Good luck!

Hi OP, it’s such an odd thing and there seems to be no rhyme or reason. I conceived my first on the first month, but trying to get pregnant again has been totally different. Took me 8 months to conceive my 2nd which sadly didn’t make it to term. I’m now just starting cycle 7 on my third attempt.
I have friends who were the other way around and took a while for their first but then the second was quicker. Also friends who seemed to take longer for both/all pregnancies and others who seemed to fall at the drop of a hat every time. You really can’t guess how it’s going to go! It sucks though, I totally get it

Mine were all pretty quick (a couple of months for no. 1, first month no. 2, about six months for no. 3 but that was after quite a big gap and I was 41) but I have so many friends who took ages to conceive no. 1, even had fertility treatment etc, and then no. 2 or even nos 2. and 3 came along really quickly and easily -- sometimes even accidentally. It really does seem to be a pretty random thing and for some women at least it seems to be a bit hard for the body to get going but then it gets the hang of it.

I think you're overly worrying. A year is totally normal for healthy couples. it took us about 6 months for first pregnancy, unfortunately had a miscarriage, then about 4 months to get pregnant again (using ovulation tests which we didn't before). it's very possible you were missing your ovulation, those apps are pointless really - it's the tests or temperature tracking which are more accurate. My ovulation was always a good few days after the app suggested. it's hard to strike the balance between being busy/occupied to take your mind off it, but also make sure you have some rest and connect with each other, and it's most important to have sex before ovulation. there's only something like a 25% chance each cycle.

Try not to worry, everyone is different and theres usually no reason for a delay.

I concieved first month of trying for both children which gave us other worries, we've never relaxed on the contreception despite husband having the snip and both of us being well into our forties now.

For me it was 7 months after I came off the pill. There was 1 month of Covid isolation in there so that month didn’t count! It was month 2 of actually tracking my cycle as I realised that leaving up to chance and sporadic sex wasn’t going to be enough.

Are you both getting enough vitamin D? And protein?

If you are both feeling too tired to want to have sex then aside from the obvious thing that's missing you may be run-down?

Both of your lifestyles are relevant. Look at It Starts with the Egg but almost all the lifestyle advice is equally relevant to your OH

Three years and Clomid treatment (despite natural ovulation) for my first pregnancy and second month of trying with no intervention for my second.

We spend so many of our earlier years avoiding pregnancy that we assume when we're finally ready it will happen quickly. I vividly remember how distressing that time was but try not to worry it can often take 12-18 months to conceive.

Good luck.

Coming up to 3 years and still not a single BFP. Tests done all fine so it’s unexplained.

All three of mine were first month of trying - and I realise how incredibly lucky that is.

4/5 months of trying really isn't that long - even when you do everything 'right' you still only have a % chance - but I understand how it can be consuming.

Fingers crossed it happens for you soon OP.

18 years , he was born through ivf.
Trying to conceive #2 and did ivf again after over a year or nothing happening again and fell pregnant naturally, transfer was cancelled and had to the freeze the embryos .
That ended in a MC at 6 weeks
And then I fell pregnant every cycle for 3 months , all loses around 4 -5 weeks
Im now pregnant this month again, currently only 4+5 so very early. The body is baffling. I struggled for so many years just to get pregnant now I can get pregnant without effort but my issue is trying to maintain the pregnancy

It took me about 5 months and I was tracking with ovulation sticks every month (1st month I got pregnant but sadly had a chemical)

the things I noticed the cycle I got pregnant (am now 22 weeks) are that we DTD every day from 5 days before ovulation, peak day and day after. Also used pre seed lube this cycle. Oh and I had also started taking vitamin d about 2 months before my BFP as I was slightly deficient.

I was taking cough medicine (mucinex) too but I also did this other cycles where I didn't fall pregnant.

good luck!

I had my first in my 20s and got pregnant first try. I'm now 32 we've been trying unsuccessfully since August for our second.

I didn't even know vaguely when my ovulation was before, let alone what an opk was! This time I've been religiously opk testing, tracking my temperature, vitamins etc and nada.

But like others have said, up to a year is very normal and not concerning. The odds are something like 25% a month even with well timed sex. Wishing you a positive test very soon!

First cycle trying for me at 30. But after having our first child, I then suffered 3 losses (also all very quick conceptions), so I suspect I may have hyperfertility (so conceiving quickly can be a bit of a curse rather than a good thing!). Hyperfertility can be the cause of conceiving straight away but ending in losses, as the body just let's any embryo - good or bad - implant.
First thing I would suggest is tracking so it's good you are doing that. I did that from the get-go. I also used sperm-friendly lube.
How long it is taking you is still within the realms of normal.

I've had 6 pregnancies, all in my mid-late 30s.
3 months
6 months
2 months
1 month
5 months
1 month

Lifestyle is important as pp have said. Alcohol as well as diet. But I'd also reconsider how often you have sex. You say your cycle is regular - do you mean 28-30 days? If so, it's probable you're not ovulating before CD13 (but nothing is certain). I'd have sex every other day from CD8 to CD18. Even if you were certain you ovulate on eg CD15, just having sex once on that day will not be as effective because sperm go stale! If you choose not to have sex, your DH could make sure he - erm - refreshes his supply every two days instead!

If you want to check you are ovulating, you need BBT. LH strips do not confirm ovulation for certain. BBT would reassure you that you do in fact ovulate, help pin down the likely day, and often tells you plenty of other things about your cycle.

First month. Rather to my surprise as I was 39.

This is a good point at the end. I see so many people say LH sticks "prove" they are ovulating but they really don't. Most people most of the time only have one surge and then ovulate, but you can have a surge, not actually ovulate and then surge again a few days later and actually ovulate then. This is less likely if you generally have regular periods but it's not impossible. There's a big study somewhere where they found that something like 6% of women were actually in their fertile period on any given cycle day between day 3 and day 28, or something ridiculous like that (obviously the ones still fertile on day 28 were going to have a long cycle, even if they weren't expecting it). If you are able to do BBT consistently (I appreciate not possible with all lifestyles and e.g. harder with small wakeful children) that's really the only way to confirm you actually ovulated. My periods got more regular after I had a child but before then my ovulation was all over the place -- in fact I learnt to do fertility awareness in the first place because it was so annoying never having the first idea when my period might turn up.