TTC after ectopic- looking for reassurance

[GalwayGurl]

Hi all,

I'm TTC after en ectopic pregnancy last year and finding it really hard.

My cycle has been all over the place, I don’t seem to produce positive OPKs, and despite having sex loads, no luck so far.

I have had a few occasions where I’ve had a very faint line but then it’s disappeared, making me think v v early loss. I don’t get upset about that, I know it happens loads. But it has also made me compulsively test, so often, and I find it really hard to leave it even for a few days ‘just in case’.

I also struggle with my new ‘normal’- I get so many pains/cramping/sensations that I never did before the first pregnancy, and I’m always so conscious of my body and worried about it.

I was wondering whether there are any other post ectopic gals also TTC who can provide some understanding and might even give me some tips for how to calm down and stop being so mental.

My partner is wonderful and understanding but I’d love to chat to some other women.

How are you @GalwayGurl?

Hello- sorry I forgot I haven’t updated here!

How are you doing? Hope work has been ok and the nausea isn’t too bad. Have you told many people you’re pregnant? I know you’d said at work before.

I had a scan yesterday. Couldn’t see much detail and couldn’t see a heartbeat yet but I’d been told beforehand that can be pretty normal. But most important thing was obviously to check it’s in the right place, and it is! So I feel really reassured.

Another scan two weeks tomorrow scheduled in to hopefully see in more detail. Feeling like a big weight is off my shoulder already though. Think I’m just over 6 weeks (that’s going in calculators that take my short cycle into account) but will get more of an idea at next scan.

Thanks so much for thinking of me 🙂

@GalwayGurlAhh that’s amazing news that yours is also in the right place, I’ve seen that it’s quite common that they can’t see a lot that early. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your next scan ☺️

Im doing well thank you, I had a scan today at 8wks + 3 and all is good and measuring how it should. Absolutely crazy that it is actually starting to look like a real little baby now. It all just feels like an out of body experience to be honest 😂 we actually have ended up telling a lot of family, mainly because I was at my partners mums birthday at the weekend and it was so obvious due to me not drinking (we like a drink so people would have guessed haha). I’m feeling pretty sick at points but it seems to be when I’m hungry, so eating makes it go away. I’m also not really fancying any healthy food which is unusual for me, I’ve had x2 McDonald’s and a kfc in the last week, oops. I’m working from home too as know I’ll struggle on my commute.

Have you got any symptoms currently? Are you keeping it all quiet? X

Thanks so much!

Really glad to hear you’re doing well. It is all surreal isn’t it? I feel like once I have a little bump I’ll start to feel it’s more real. That’s good you’ve been able to WFH. I’m a teacher or else I’d like that too 😂

We have told some family and I’ve also told a fair few friends, ones who were really there for me last time. I figured if things went wrong again I’d want the same support.

So far my symptoms are having absolutely ridiculously big and sore boobs all the time 😂 and feeling pretty wiped out. The fatigue is overwhelming sometimes. But I’m otherwise well.

I ended up at the out of hours clinic at hospital last night with a fair bit of bleeding. But they were satisfied it was nothing to worry about. It does seem to have stopped today. It did throw me though. You said you’d had a little spotting before, is that right?

@GalwayGurl omg I can imagine being a teacher will be challenging on the days you are feeling sick/knackered - hopefully you don’t feel too bad!!

I’ve told all of my close friends, mainly because for the last year and a half all of them have known my cycle each month as they were all very invested and hopefully for our ttc journey. To the point where my best friend was seriously invested in my bbt chart each week😂

My boobs were so sore and then they’ve really dulled down, which scared me last week but obviously my scan was all good so I think symptoms can fluctuate massively.

So sorry to hear about your bleeding and hospital visit, how are you getting on now? I did have some spotting, it was just brown when I wiped one day but I think it was to do with being very constipated 🫣 I haven’t had any since but I am also on progesterone which a lot of people get prescribed for bleeding. Definitely push for another scan if it continues, it can also be completely normal 🤞🏼

Hello @Blondepeach

Sorry I'm so useless at remembering things just now 😂 and I'd forgotten all about this thread.

How are you doing now? Hope all well and feeling good!

I am fine post that one night of bleeding; it seems it was quite random and I haven't had any repeat of it whatsoever.

I have another scan on Monday coming which I'm looking forward to for more reassurance. When I had my first scan, they could see the foetus was in the right place but couldn't see much else detail so they scheduled a follow up to try and see more. So I feel happy about that.

@GalwayGurl Hey! How did your scan go yesterday??

I am feeling alright actually, super tired but not so nauseas now (which also worries me a little but trying to not to obsess over symptoms). I have my next scan on the 9th April when I’ll be nearly 13 weeks, so just waiting patiently for that 🤞🏼

@Blondepeach nice to hear from you 🙂

so it wasn’t great at the scan, sadly. The fetus hadn’t grown as much as it should have and its heart rate was very low.

The midwives were very kind but honest and said it didn’t really have a good prognosis. But miracles can happen and the heart rate could improve, so we’ll scan in another week and see what’s happening then.

I am trying to be positive, keep busy, and have a ‘normal’ish week until then. Just hoping for the best, really, as that’s all there is to do!

Glad you’re doing ok. It’s not really long till you’re 13 weeks- that is so exciting! Have you got a little bump?

@GalwayGurl Oh lovely I’m so sorry that the scan has caused you more anxiety and that it wasn’t good news for the moment, really really praying for a miracle to happen for you and this little one.

This is not said in any way to try and diminish what’s currently happening, but with both of our worries regards having another ectopic, it’s really positive that we both know we can have a pregnancy that implants in the right place. Continue holding some hope and as you said try and keep busy this next week ❤️

although my 8 week scan was good, I can’t help but worry something will go wrong before my next scan. I’m debating booking a private one, however it is only two weeks away so just not sure whether to hold off. It’s like even when you get reassurance, you start worrying about the next hurdle anyway.

no bump here yet, I do get quite bloated in the evenings but that’s about it at the minute

@Blondepeach Thanks so much. We are just hoping for the best too and trying to stay really positive. I'm 9 weeks tomorrow. Every day I manage to stay pregnant we are celebrating and trying to keep a really positive frame of mind, though of course we know the risks.

It is absolutely a great thing that we could both get pregnant successfully in the right place and I hold onto that definitely.

Of course I understand the constant worry! You can't just rest easy when you've had things go wrong before, but it sounds like you have a good healthy pregnancy and just need to keep reminding yourself of that- no big issues like the ectopic here, just a nice normal pregnancy which is going to go swimmingly.

Will keep you updated after Monday's scan.

@GalwayGurl I hope it was good news for you yesterday ❤️ if it was not, please don’t feel you need to update her. Sending prayers x

@Blondepeach you’re so kind, thanks for thinking of me.

Monday sadly wasn’t good. Today I’ve had surgery and it’s been a pretty tough day. I have no desire to upset you so that’s all I’ll say.

We will pick ourselves up and be as positive as possible. I have an amazing partner and there’s lots to be positive about. But it’s been tough.

I am so glad you’re having a positive looking pregnancy and it sounds like you’re onto a winner. I wish you happiness and good health all the way through, and a gorgeous wee baby!

@GalwayGurl I’m absolutely gutted for you, I’m so sorry. To go through this emotionally but also having to have an operation which is physically tolling too.

Sending you loads of love and healing - having a supportive and loving partner at this point makes the world of difference, so it’s amazing that you do have that 💕

there will be a point in the future where you can come back to this thread and update it with happy news, it will absolutely happen for you 🤞🏼✨