TTC after ectopic- looking for reassurance

[GalwayGurl]

Hi all,

I'm TTC after en ectopic pregnancy last year and finding it really hard.

My cycle has been all over the place, I don’t seem to produce positive OPKs, and despite having sex loads, no luck so far.

I have had a few occasions where I’ve had a very faint line but then it’s disappeared, making me think v v early loss. I don’t get upset about that, I know it happens loads. But it has also made me compulsively test, so often, and I find it really hard to leave it even for a few days ‘just in case’.

I also struggle with my new ‘normal’- I get so many pains/cramping/sensations that I never did before the first pregnancy, and I’m always so conscious of my body and worried about it.

I was wondering whether there are any other post ectopic gals also TTC who can provide some understanding and might even give me some tips for how to calm down and stop being so mental.

My partner is wonderful and understanding but I’d love to chat to some other women.

@GalwayGurl Hey! found your thread as was doing some googling about pregnancy after an ectopic. I’ve actually relatively recently found out that I’m pregnant again (I got a positive at 9dpo) and I’m 5 weeks today. I had an ectopic a year ago exactly, which was treated with Methotrexate. I did then have another very early loss (chemical pregnancy) in September.

I’m sooo anxious, due to my ectopic I have an early scan booked for Thursday next week at the EPU to confirm whether or not it’s in the right place or not. I have been having some mild aches/twinges on my left side where the ectopic was, but no bleeding etc so far (which I had last year) and have had very dark positive tests that have progressed so far. So hoping hoping hoping that it’s all good signs, I have also read (on the ectopic trust website) it can be very common to have sensations and aches where it was, this can be due to hormonal changes or perhaps scar tissue.

TTC is such a rollercoaster after the experience we have had as there is so much left over trauma. Do you mind me asking, did you have your tube removed or was it managed expectantly/medically?

I don’t have too much advise and I’m currently worried myself, but here if you need to vent to someone who gets it. Sending baby dust and luck your way ✨💖

@Blondepeach thanks for replying. I did actually type out a big long reply last night and thought I posted it but I must not have!!!

Congratulations on your current pregnancy, I hope it all goes swimmingly for you. How did you feel when you got a positive?

I totally understand your anxiety and imagine I'll be just like you, keen to get scanned at the EPU as soon as possible. The EPU I was at last time was a fantastic unit with lovely staff and strange as it sounds, I'm almost looking forward to seeing some of the midwives again despite the circumstances last time being so awful. Have you felt reassured by the contact with the EPU so far and the upcoming scan?

I have read about how common it is to feel many more pains/twinges/sensations than you ever did before an ectopic, and I know I just need to get used to them. But a good few months later I still find it hard and quite emotional.

To answer your question, I had methotrexate too. The first dose didn't seem to work, and my levels kept rising. Despite this, I had an awful reaction to it and was hospitalised in excruciating pain. I then had to have another dose a couple of weeks later and the pregnancy took just over a month in total to resolve. It was a very painful and traumatic time as I'm sure you remember all too well but I'm looking forward to moving on with a hopefully healthy pregnancy.

@GalwayGurlThank you lovely. I’ll be honest when I got my positive test, I feel like because I’ve had multiple chemical pregnancies (x3) and the ectopic I have learnt not to have high hopes - which is so sad! However this is the only time I’ve actually had healthy line progression and no bleeding, so really am praying this is it.

I do feel reassured that I’ve got the scan next week, but it will have been the sloooowest few weeks ever and the anxiety is building. I think I’m going to be a MESS on the morning of, like yourself I’ll be going back to the same place my ectopic was treated, which will feel weird and probably really triggering. But trying to go back to having positive thoughts, in between the anxious moments 🤞🏼😊

Im so sorry your experience with the Methotrexate was so awful!! I was quite lucky with it and didn’t get side effects, but I remember reading the horror stories and being terrified. I can only imagine that makes even more worried about it happening again.

How long have you been trying and would this be ttc for your first baby?

@Blondepeach yes I totally understand the not getting your hopes up. I’m finding it hard imagine feeling excitement just now. I feel when I get a lasting positive test the main thing I’ll feel is just fear. But I do really want a baby. It’s just the getting there that is so nerve racking. It sounds like yours is really positive so far- I’m so glad for you.

So last year in August when I got my first positive test that was the start of this journey and so I haven’t been TTC for long compared to lots of people. Obviously had to have the break of three months for the Methotrexate to be out my system so it’s not been that long after that either. I’m just finding already though that my mind is on nothing else at all.

Can I ask prior to conceiving, had you been tracking ovulation? Did it take a long time to get to grips with your cycle? I tried doing some OPKs last month but never had any strong lines at all, so I don’t really know what’s going on. I gave up doing that this month because I don’t want to over-stress about it all. Since getting back to not using contraception, I’ve had a couple of periods but very short cycles (21 days) and I don’t know whether that’s a bad sign of things not being quite right.

@GalwayGurlI completely get the fear, it takes all of the joy out of it to be honest 🥲

I think no matter how long you’ve been trying, the lasting mental and psychical effects of an ectopic are just soo heavy. Be gentle on yourself 😊

When did you come off contraception? It can take 6mnths and even a year for your cycle to do back to ‘normal’. I was on the pill from the age of 14 until 26, then we started trying when I turned 29 (may 2024 - we just did the pull out method until then haha) and I’m pretty sure it took my cycles well over a year to become consistent. Even now, I have occasionally months where my cycle is abnormally long, sometimes 40 days when my usual is 28-31 days. For me my cycle can be thrown off if I’ve got a cold/flu etc or I’m feeling stressed - which I seem to be in a constant state of when ttc 😂

So I’ve been tracking with OPK’s the whole time, it is super sensitive so you do need to test morning and night for sometimes around ten days as can easily miss your peak (I use the clear blue digital one but amazing tests are more cost friendly), I found I would only get a peak in the evenings.

BUT I would really recommend tracking your BBT (body temp) as this gives really accurate data around when and if you ovulate. You may already know this, but you can actually get an LH surge/peak opk but your body not actually release an egg, but bbt confirms that by a temp rise - I’ll attach one of my months charts. The only thing with bbt is that you have to be consistent and take it at the same time upon waking each day, so it can be a faff. I do think it might be worth doing for you even just for a few months so you can maybe understand your ovulation more.

lastly, do you monitor your cervical mucus? Another massive sign for me is that I get egg white cervical mucus on the exact same day I get my peak on the OPK, I don’t get loads but I can definitely notice it when I go to the toilet. So for me that’s a massive reliable sign to get having sex for the next few days follow that! There’s so many things to consider 🤯

@Blondepeach Thanks so much for this really detailed response! So helpful.

So I was on the pill prior to the first pregnancy, and then off it obviously. Then back on it just for the 12 week period that you had to wait to conceive post Methotrexate. I say that, I came off it a bit early, thinking that I'd be unlikely to fall pregnant again quickly anyway. So it's only been about 10 weeks I'd guess of being off that 12 week spell. My body is probably confused having been on/off/on/off the pill and you're right, it might take a while for my cycle to regulate. I went years and years with no periods (that's what the mini pill did to me) and I loved that at the time; it was so convenient, but it does mean I'm not used to what a regular cycle looks like. And obviously I could get pregnant before, and did, but I just hope that my body allows me to do that again soon.

Thanks for the info on BBT- I've been reading about it and it sounds wise to track. I've just been slightly put off tracking too much 'data' as I don't want to end up becoming (even more) obsessive/worriesome about things.

And yes I've deffo become more aware of CM, and have noticed times when I've had EWCM, so I guess that's a good sign that I hopefully am ovulating?

How are you feeling so far in your pregnancy? Hope you're all good and not too tired.

@GalwayGurlahh well 100% you should try and definitely give your body some more time to adjust from the pill 💕then after a little while if you’re still concerned about your shorter cycles then go to the GP and push for some bloods to check everything. What cycle day are you this month or are you having a break?

also with BBT it definitely does add another layer of having to think about something which I don’t think can be helpful, but it taught me soo much about my cycle. So it has its pros and cons!

Great that you are able to notice the EWCM, that’s definitely such a reliable sign that tells you your body is gearing up to ovulate. Again I don’t think it confirms ovulation, but it is healthy to have it and for me it is always bang on (or sometimes day before) I get my peak opk.

Im feeling physically all good so far, just the mental side I’m struggling with. I’ve been taking progesterone since my positive test at 9dpo (due to my multiple chemical pregnancies) so just hoping this has helped and that my scan is good news next week 🥲

@Blondepeach

I’m day 18 of my cycle right now and having very major PMS symptoms right now and have been for a few days so I have a horrid feeling my next period might arrive before it’s even been 21 days. Honest to god being a woman is so shit 😂

I’m glad you’re physically well but I completely understand the mental anguish. I’m hoping your scan gives you some peace of mind to relax and enjoy a bit.

What is the progesterone you take and was it prescribed by the GP? Did you find them helpful in trying to assist you with this pregnancy or has most of the contact been with the EPU? I know it’s slightly different in different areas.

@GalwayGurlOh no really! What symptoms do you get before your period? Did you opk this month?

Thank you (regards scan) I just want this week to speed up so I can get an official answer of where this goes from here. I had a teeny bit of brown spotting last night when I went for a wee, but progesterone did make me a little constipated (well, very!) so I’m not sure if that maybe caused the spotting - I’m hoping so anyway 🥲

I was actually prescribed it by my GP, but I had been to see a gynaecologist privately (I have private healthcare with my work) last year and he had prescribed it too, which I had shown my GP. I’m not sure if they would have given me it if not. They are also aware I’m having investigations for recurrent miscarriage, so I would say that’s why they prescribed it too. I will say it’s a faff and not very pleasant to take, x2 pessaries a day 12 hours apart - I’ve had to put alarms on my phone otherwise I forget 😬 it also leaks out throughout the day. But obviously worth doing if needed! It’s 400mg of Cyclogest x

So I was getting horrendous pains in my uterus and my boobs were so so painful. Plus really emotional. And right enough last night I started bleeding. Two weeks four days! Since my last period! FML. I started crying uncontrollably to my OH about how unfair life is being a woman 😂 so anyway… then I bled a little last night, and by this morning it had totally dried up and it’s like I never had it at all. An overnight period. Honestly my body is just all over the place. I did do a PG test too just in case, this morning, but it’s a negative.

Good luck with tomorrow, I’ll be hoping for you that it’s all plain sailing. Some spotting is absolutely normal and lots of people do have it. But obviously I understand it still must feel a little worrying.

Thanks for the info on progesterone. Since first being pregnant I’m finding out whole new worlds on all the related medicinal/terminology stuff.

@GalwayGurloh no, you predicted right then! I can imagine why the shorter cycles will be stressing you out, maybe book something in with your GP and push for some bloods that may reassure you? Sometimes good to just get the ball rolling and you feel a bit more in control of the situation. Are you taking any supplements?

A positive update from me, my scan this morning showed a pregnancy in the right place and measuring 5wks + 6, so very accurately 🥹💕 I was honestly shaking like a leaf before my scan, I really was expecting the worst outcome. I hope that it can give you some hope, as I genuinely had so many aches on my ectopic side and had convinced myself that it was another - the sonographer said the twinges are normal and after an ectopic you because ridiculous hyper aware of any sensations x

So I actually did phone the GP and got a quick cancellation appointment for this morning for bloods- so I was really glad they acted on that. Knowing that they’re looking at it is putting my mind at ease a bit. I know I need to have a normal cycle to have a chance of conceiving so I’d like it sorted out. I’m taking supplements that include vitamins and folic acid. Any others you felt were worth taking?

Great news about your scan! I’m so happy for you. Hope you can relax and enjoy pregnancy.

@GalwayGurl Oh that’s good, Im sure you feel slightly better knowing you’ve got the bloods done as sometimes you really have to push dependent on your GP.

Ive taken a few supplements on and off (sometimes would get lazy) but the last 3 months I was really consistent and I took:

Pregnancy/conception multivitamin which already includes Folate/folic - a brand called Metagenics (they do really high quality vitamins)

Myo-Inisotol powder (apparently great for irregular cycles and especially people with Pcos which I was told I could have) - Metagenics. I really felt this helped with my ovulation timing as I had a few longer cycles before being consistent with this.

CoQ10 - also Metagenics

I read on here that everyone had read a book called ‘it starts with the egg’ which talks a lot about certain supplements, that’s why I added in the Coq10 for egg quality. I tried to tell myself that even if it was quite expensive each month, it hopefully wasn’t going to be forever that I’d need to take all of it ☺️

Thank you (about the scan) 💕

Hello OP, not exactly what you're asking but I had an ectopic in 2017 and have gone on to have two healthy babies, if there's any questions I can answer from the other side I'm happy to help x

@Statsinyoureyes thanks, that’s really nice.

This morning I actually got a faint positive on a test, meaning Tuesday’s bleeding obviously wasn’t my period and I am, I guess, early pregnant… (I’ve retested and got the same result)

I would be so excited about this if it sticks around. But I’m also a tad worried as the last pregnancy started with similar- a day’s bleeding shortly before I got a clear positive test. But some women get implantation bleeding right? I know not all bleeding has to be worrying.

Did you get good care during the first non ectopic pregnancy you had? Apart from an extra early scan, was it any different? I guess once you’ve had a scan and seen it’s in the right place it’s the same as any other?

thanks for all the time 🙂

Yeah you should contact your EPAU as soon as possible, I had a scan at 4 weeks - nothing could be seen so they got me back in about 10 days later, then they saw that tje pregnancy was in the right place. From then on it's back into the normal system. With my first after the ectopic I didn't have bleeding, but I did with my second.

Thanks so much @Statsinyoureyes

Tried to call them today but it was ringing out. So will call again tomorrow and get in asap. Feeling excited but in a bit of a limbo till I manage to get seen. Hopefully won’t be long!

I had an ectopic many years ago. Nearly died. Had ovary and tube removed. Fell pregnant again 5 months later. He’s 37 now. Plus I have another son of 28 x

@Rainydaycat that’s lovely to hear that you had two sons so soon after your awful ectopic. Thanks for commenting.

Fingers and toes crossed for you! Keep us updated. Pregnancy after ectopic is very nerve-wracking so don't be afraid to lean on your midwife and go to the maternity unit if you're ever worried, they are usually brill. I had a lot of very painful cramps at the beginning of my first pregnancy after the ectopic and I also experienced pain in the ectopic site. The midwife explained it could be the scar tissue being stretched a bit as your uterus grows. But still get anything concerning checked out as life is too short to worry in silence x

@GalwayGurlJust seen your positive test message - tentative congratulations!! 💕how are you today?

Thank you @Blondepeach I’m feeling ok. I feel definitely pregnant, like last time. My boobs are huge and sore and I feel all kinds of things down below. It feels just like last time but I’m trying to tell myself that doesn’t mean it’ll be just like last time.

I got through to the EPU today and they said I was to phone back in a couple of weeks if still testing positive a they’d get me in for a scan. Said too early just now to try, wanted it to be 6 weeks, and they didn’t mention doing any bloods. So I guess I have to just wait for now! It feels like such torture, the thought of waiting so long (I know it’s not really long in the scheme of things…)

My tests are getting a tiny bit darker each day but they’re still very very faint indeed. Trying not to read too much into that either.

@GalwayGurlsending you all of the positivity 💕 do you know what dpo you are?

the wait it definitely torture! Try and keep yourself as busy as possible but obviously prioritise rest too. Maybe you could call the EPU in a week and push to actually get a scan booked in, I’m sure not having something booked makes you feel even more unsure x

@Blondepeach Thanks, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to call back a week tomorrow and ask to book in the appointment so at least I know it's scheduled. The wait is torture but I'm still testing positive and trying to keep a positive mindset too! How are you doing now?

@GalwayGurl Yeah that’s a good idea. Haha I tested pretty much everyday for about 12 days from 9dpo to check progression 🫣

Im doing ok thank you, I definitely feel different. I keep getting really nauseas when I am hungry and the only way to cure it seems to be to eat. I know it’s early but I ended up telling my work as I work 50% in the office and know I would really struggle on my commute (it’s around 1 hr 40 mins) as been feeling very sicky when waking - they’ve said I can wfh when needed so I’m pleased about that. How are you feeling?