Praying and Hoping over 40 👶

[VioIetMoon]

I wanted to create a support thread for anyone 40+ who may need it . Hopefully we can get a thread going. Please feel welcome to join me to talk, rant or whatever you want to discuss to make this journey a little emotionally easier.

Im 40 and while I feel extremely blessed to have 1 child , I would very much love another. I've been pregnant 4 times between 37 and 40. 2 chemicals, 1 MMC and one birth.
We tried for about 18 years to get pregnant and nothing .
We then fell pregnant naturally but it ended in a very early loss.
After that we persued ivf a year later and fortunately it gave me my beautiful son.
We tried pretty much straight away for another but didnt have any luck. We then did another round of ivf shortly after my sons 1st birthday. We got 2 embryos and froze them as we were advised not to proceed with a fresh due to conditions not being desirable . You can imagine the shock when I found out we had unexpectedly conceived naturally during our ivf cycle. This sadly ended in a MMC .Baby had passed around the 6-7 weeks mark.
2 months later I found out it was pregnant again on NYE. Sadly that ended in another early pregnancy loss a few days later.

I'd love to hear your stories and im hoping that despite being over 40 , that our bodies are capable of creating and carrying a healthy child

Usha and JD Vance just announced their 4th child, a baby boy, and she's 40! Due in July!

If its meant to be, it will be happen. If not, that's okay too! You've got a sweet baby to enjoy for the rest of your life already💝

I am 34 and still no kids ... I hope I have at least one by 40😂

I’m 40 and been trying 2 and a half years now
i do have older children from A previous marriage and I had them in my 20s
sorry to hear about your struggles. It’s unfair that it happens so easily for some and such an effort for others.

Hey, really sorry to hear about your losses.

I'm also 40 and will be trying for number 2 after I turn 41 next month. I got pregnant aged 38 after a one off so while I'm praying it's straightforward again I can't shake the nerves that it won't be.

Good luck!! x

Im 40 and have a teen. Have been off of contraception for over a year but nothing yet. Am starting to try to picture life without any more blessings but remain hopeful. Stories of older mums do give me some hope!

So glad to have found this thread, hope its ok for me to jump on.
I'm 40 this month 🙊
Currently trying for baby no2 since September 2024 🥴
Had a miscarriage in June, my 3rd after suffering 2 before my 🌈 baby was born in 2022.
My GP referred us for tests after my last miscarriage but everything has come back normal and basically told us its a numbers game and to keep going. So here we are! Still trying and being disappointed every month.
I was feeling possitve this month after having a strong positive ovulation test 3 days ago but woken this morning to heavy bleeding so assuming my period 🤔 bit fed up of it all tbh and not sure whether to give up. But how do you get past that feeling of your family not being complete 😪 my little boy not having a sibling to grow up with.

@Scoaf yes I completely understand and its so frustrating. That's my biggest worry, that my little boy won't have a sibling there for him when we're no longer around.
The fertility consultant has more or less told us the same thing regarding our 3 miscarriages that it's bad luck and to keep going

@Sa11yCinnamon fingers crossed for you 🤞

Hello! I’d love to join if that’s ok?

I’m just 43 and desperately hoping to have another baby, a little sibling for DD2. My partner and I met at 36 but delayed trying until 38 because he had a son from a previous relationship and was nervous about more. When we began trying we got pregnant immediately, then had three miscarriages in a year (two around 12 weeks and one chemical). Did two rounds of killer expensive IVF resulting in 7 embryos which we tested and all came back abnormal apart from one! Then got accidentally pregnant a week later with our magic girl 🥰 We started trying again when she was 9m and finally conceived a year later but had another MC at 10 weeks, the day before her 2nd birthday 🥺 We went back for our frozen embryo 2 weeks ago, and devastatingly it didn’t work. I’ve felt totally floored all week and terrified we’ve missed our window but I love being a mother more than anything else and would so love the chance to have another baby. So here’s hoping. No more IVF, just trying naturally and crossing everything 🤞

@VioIetMoon- are you going to do an embryo transfer soon with your two in the freezer?

I was told at 40 that % chance of conceiving (my long med for 2nd) was higher naturally rather than IVF, my advice is to be as healthy as possible and keep trying. Have a cut off point age wise and stick to it.

However In your shoes I would want to try with the frozen embryos too before giving up, you’ve gone through IVF and they have been created. Have you plans to implant them?

I hope it’s ok for me to join - I turned 39 in January.

After years of indecision we are going for DC3. DCs are 7 and 5. I had a very traumatic mmc in Dec 24 at 13 weeks (I needed 2 x units of blood - nearly bled out) and we decided to call it a day, but a year on and I can’t shake it.

If I conceive this month or next I’d just sneak the baby in before I turn 40.

Ive had loads of mcs in the past - some due to a condition that I’m now on treatment for, and some just bad luck (inc the last one), so sadly very familiar with the ttc stress! Hoping not to let it get to me this time.

I had my daughter a month before I turned 36, and I had my rainbow baby son when I was 41. Between having my daughter and my son I had 2 MCs and a MMC with twins at 13 weeks. I had given up hope and then we were blessed with my son. I did take Agnus cactus, B12 and pregnacare supplements and when I found out I was pregnant with my son I immediately started using Cyclogest pessaries for the first 16 weeks, so that may have made a difference.

@Presently83 Were very torn between transferring a frozen embryo or doing another collection. Id like to hope that one of our frozen would result in a healthy pregnancy but it's the unknown. If neither worked, we might regret delaying another collection. Its just the financial aspect to consider. We plan to make a decision next month. I actually had a positive test again after I made this post but it didnt stick. I think it was a very late implanter.
If time was on our side , I think we would just keep trying naturally. Ever since we did the last ivf round we are getting pregnant so easily but the problem seems to be holding onto the pregnancy.
Im sorry sorry your FET didnt work.
Sending you lots of love

@VioIetMoon yes it’s hard to know what to do. If money was no object I’d definitely be going for a few more egg collections to try and find another euploid, but sadly we’re just not in that position right now. So I’m just going to hope for the best naturally. Two embryos in the freezer is a great insurance policy, and since one already gave you your son you do know that it can work 🙏🏼

Hello ladies!

I’m 41 and TTC #4. I have 3 with my previous partner (a singleton and twins). I have been with my current partner for almost 7 years and he doesn’t have any of his own.

It’s been 8 months since my bf and I started ttc after I had my IUD removed and on month one I sadly had a chemical pregnancy. I’ve had absolutely no luck since and even started spotting between periods over the past 2/3 months. I went to see my gp but she was a bit dismissive if I’m honest and said because I have already got children I wouldn’t be able to get any help on the nhs (even though my bf has no children which doesn’t seem fair). I’ve booked in for some blood tests but it’s been difficult to catch them at the right time as my periods are different lengths from month to month, between 23-29 days.

I turned 41 in January and I’m starting to feel the pressure! Xx

Hello @Wingingitlife. What’s your ttc strategy? I usually just wait until I see the famous “EWCM” and then try every night for 3-4 nights and have had good success with that.

I usually conceive quickly/easily but then have had lots of mcs. I was pregnant 3 times in 2024, all conceived first go, all mcs - a chemical, an 8 week loss that I knew wouldn’t work out as was behind in growth at 6 weeks, and a horrible 13 week one where everything had looked fine until it wasn’t. Then I had 2025 off ttc.

So this is cycle 1 ttc for me after a long break and no idea if things have changed now I’m older and whether it will take longer. I’m cd 1 today so let’s see how it goes!

I’m 42, had a mmc that was discovered at my 12 week scan last Sept then closely followed by a chemical pregnancy and another early miscarriage.
I’ve had some bloods taken by my gp, and so far everything is coming back normal including my fsh levels so I’m not giving up yet.
I have my 9 year old who was conceived “first try” and our missed miscarriage was conceived only a couple of months after coming off the pill.
My partner doesn’t have any children but is amazing with my DD

Hi all, I've been reading all your stories. I'm 41, have DD8 (conceived first go) and have been TTC #2 for 18 months. Had a chemical last March and told yesterday at an early scan (following bleeding) there was no sign of pregnancy, should have been 6weeks ish so another chemical I think. We've seen an infertility consultant with the NHS, had bloods, hycosy, SA for DS and all normal. I have a short luteal phase and I think low progesterone so looking at how to address that naturally, and will see what consultant says at my next appt coming up.

I go between feeling like I can't keep going with TTC and wanting to focus on DS, and feeling like I don't want to give up yet. My 'end date' for trying keeps moving forward. I don't feel old at 41 or have issues with being an older mum, but I worry about the future, the financial implications of another DC at this stage, and also grieving a bit the circumstances over the last 6 or so years that have delayed us from trying before now.

Sorry that's a bit of an essay - feeling a lot of feels today but glad to have found a space with people in similar positions xxx

Thats interesting the support you’re getting from NHS. When I went to docs after third miscarriage I was offered blood tests but nothing further. He passed me to gynae but he got a message back saying it’s basically my age (lesser egg quality and genetics was the phrase used)
Has left me a little despondent if I’m honest

Oh I'm sorry you've not had any support @TheFutureIs- I would push further on that. I know it's hard to advocate for yourself but you deserve their care. There are NICE guidelines for recurrent miscarriage and id have thought you'd be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic? Sending 🫂 xx

Weirdly they’re denying any knowledge of the clinic

The NHS fertility/mc care is pretty patchy and awful in my experience, so sorry for what you’ve been through @TheFutureIs. What blood tests did they offer? The ones you’d want are for clotting issues (unlikely since you have a dc) and then hormones inc AMH - it is worth doing those first and then if no issues moving to other investigations, which might be what they intend? Another one worth checking is thyroid.

They did loads, thyroid was definitely one and came back normal

Hi all, my dh sperm test came back ‘normal’
but having a look at the report, the morphology (normal forms) was 1% when it has to be over 4%
but motility/volume were above average
im just wondering if this may delay things or if it’s still consider fine because there’s plenty of it? Does anyone know more about this?

I’m not sure, have you put the results into AI to see what it says? It gave a useful summary of my blood results