Praying and Hoping over 40 👶

[VioIetMoon]

I wanted to create a support thread for anyone 40+ who may need it . Hopefully we can get a thread going. Please feel welcome to join me to talk, rant or whatever you want to discuss to make this journey a little emotionally easier.

Im 40 and while I feel extremely blessed to have 1 child , I would very much love another. I've been pregnant 4 times between 37 and 40. 2 chemicals, 1 MMC and one birth.
We tried for about 18 years to get pregnant and nothing .
We then fell pregnant naturally but it ended in a very early loss.
After that we persued ivf a year later and fortunately it gave me my beautiful son.
We tried pretty much straight away for another but didnt have any luck. We then did another round of ivf shortly after my sons 1st birthday. We got 2 embryos and froze them as we were advised not to proceed with a fresh due to conditions not being desirable . You can imagine the shock when I found out we had unexpectedly conceived naturally during our ivf cycle. This sadly ended in a MMC .Baby had passed around the 6-7 weeks mark.
2 months later I found out it was pregnant again on NYE. Sadly that ended in another early pregnancy loss a few days later.

I'd love to hear your stories and im hoping that despite being over 40 , that our bodies are capable of creating and carrying a healthy child

Where are we all in cycles? I’m 5 DPO, but didn’t get a peak on my OPK sticks which worries me a bit, but pretty certain I had ovulation pain around the time I was supposed to ovulate

Fingers crossed for you @TheFutureIs!

My fertile window is tomorrow til the 26th, I'm not using OPKs at the moment - I will if nothing happens in a few months. My app was bang on with my son and I had ovulation pain on the day it predicted I'd ovulate last month so hopefully it'll still be accurate.

@BurningOuttmy strategy is pretty much the same as yours! I was tracking with opks and bbt at first but I felt like it was stressing me out more and I was obsessing over it so I stopped and started just tracking my EWCM. I think I’ve been quite accurate with it as most months my period comes exactly 14 days after the last day of my EWCM! I can normally tell that I’ve ovulated as the next day I feel tired, my six drive goes, etc. We try to dtd every day on those days of my ewcm but sometimes it’s every other day because of my work, I work shifts so sometimes we are passing ships, but we always seem to manage to at least dtd the day before ov and a couple of days before.

I beleive I’m 9dpo today so I’m absolutely praying! I had a couple of days of very very light spotting then it’s stopped today. But my boobs are still sore so hoping my progesterone is still up! X

That sounds really hopeful 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

How are you doing @Wingingitlife

Hi @TheFutureIsbelieve I’m 14dpo today and took a test it was negative so a bit guttered. I’m expecting my period tomorrow and have a blood test on Friday. So if it is going to come I hope it’s on time!

how are you doing?

My period arrived Tuesday. Had spotting Monday which I never usually do but by Tuesday it was obviously period. I’m a bit gutted by starting to resign myself that we won’t get our baby. My partner is amazing, despite him not having any children he always says that I’m enough to make him happy

@VioIetMoon I conceived through IVF at 43 - and she is a very healthy 2 year old now ! I didn't meet my partner until we were 38 - and she was less clear about having children then I was, so we took a while to feel ready, but yes - totally possible!! Best of luck!

I turned 41 in January and my partner and I started trying for a baby together last May. I have two children from a previous relationship (11 and 16) and we’ve now been together over 7 years, and waited till the right time to try for one together.

It took us 5 months, and I had three chemical pregnancies over the first four months. So it was a case of waiting for a healthy egg and sperm. Luckily it appears we didn’t have any other fertility hurdles. I’m now almost 28 weeks.

Neither of us look or feel “in our forties”. And it’s crazy how much my mindset has changed regarding pregnancy and conception post 40. Before now, I always though I would never try for a baby past 35 due to “the risks”, but my Down’s test for this pregnancy came back with a 1 in 350 which is the lowest statistic a 35 year old woman can get. So just being 40 doesn’t mean you’re written off biologically at all. In fact, it was likely my partners energy drink consumption and hot baths that were causing our early losses, and once he’d abstained from those for three months, we got our successful conception.

Definitely keep the hope and try and have the healthiest lifestyles you can to prevent any DNA fragmentation. I also lost over 3 stone the previous year and this brought my irregular periods; sometimes 40 days plus, right down to a more regular 28-30 day cycle with no spotting.

Thank you for the positive post @EmPeEf and congratulations on your pregnancy and weight loss (super impressive!). The “risks” meant I was on the fence for a long time - like you I have 2 healthy children and I worried about rolling the dice again, and the impact that might have on them. But the longing hasn’t gone away. I’m committed to getting all the testing we can but I want to give it one more try.

@TheFutureIs Definitely push your gp or ask to speak to another gp in your practice. After 3 loses they should be referring you to the recurrent clinic.
I spoke to my gp on Monday and she's sent a referral to the clinic

@EmPeEf ah thats lovely to hear and congratulations.
I had a positive on a test yesterday again, but i was only 10dpo so its still very early but ive never had a line appear this early. This is now the forth cycle in a row weve caught and im really hoping this doesnt end in another loss .
Not sure why I tested as its probably the worst thing I could have done as it only drives you crazy

Hi, can I join?

Had our first at 39 in the first cycle.
Now decided to see if we can have another at 43, 44 in a couple of months.

Nothing first cycle.
Have just had some tests back, FSH looks great but AHM is 3.15 so not great.
In 2 minds about trying in April as I will be going for a c section if successful and really don't fancy a Christmas birth... But equally realise our chances are low so perhaps we need to take them all

I don't think IVF would be for us - ahm too low and I don't think I would go the donor route but I guess it's a lot to think about. I am wondering whether we need to get some support sooner rather than later though to consider other options to increase chances.

@Littlebuzz Its a pot of luck. I know women who successfully had babies with their own eggs in their 40s. One being 44.
Have you had an AFC scan?
Oh really? Im the opposite, I would love a Christmas birth

I had testing in July 2023 and my AMH was 2.82. I conceived naturally (a happy accident) in Sept 2023 and again (second cycle TTC) last month. It absolutely is possible x

Hi everyone, I'll join. I'm 42, TTC 18 months without a whisper of anything. All tests for me and DH normal and good for age. Unsure if IVF is worth the cost at my age. Trying to focus on healthy lifestyle, weight loss and timing for the next six months.

@ttcnumerodos what were you advised was a short luteal phase? Mines generally 11-12 days which is the shifter side of normal but I'm wondering does it have an impact.

Thanks for all the positive stories!

Thanks!

For now we haven't had a scan just blood tests but may think about it depending how next few cycles go. I reckon it won't tell us a huge amount more.

I would have another c section and the reduced medical care over a holiday period, more limitations on dates for being scheduled and being in hospital away from my other child over Christmas doesn't appeal - plus having a Christmas birthday doesn't seem much fun for a kid! On the other hand, maybe every cycle counts.