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Conception

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Original poster

Is it to soon to be thinking about another baby???

40 replies

emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 09:14

Hi

My DD is nearly 8 months old. I love her to bits and she is the most contented little thing. Now that she is kinda nearing the toddler stage, I am really missing the baby times. (I don't know why!)

Everyone keeps telling us not to have more as my DD is so content, because they say our others will be terrors!

I know you are suppose to wait a year between to let your body have a break too. I don't know if this is just my uterus talking and saying to have another now, or what!

What do I do? confused, baby loving mom

OP posts:
posieflump · 31/05/2008 09:26

honeslty?
I would wait until she's one before making a decision
8 months isn't the toddler stage!
wait until she's moving around more and see how you feel
my sister got pregnant at 9 months though and it all worked out fine although she does find 2 boys 18 months apart very hard work

cupsoftea · 31/05/2008 09:27

go with how your feel

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 09:38

If I went with how I feel at this moment I would be calling my H and telling him to come home right now to try

However, I know that having a baby is a big thing and not something just to do on a spur of the moment which is why I am trying to be rational (trying)

My DD was an accident to be honest. I was on the pill and got pregnant 2 months after the wedding. Even though we are in our mid 20's and married...it was not looked upon as a good thing from our family. We made it work and changed our goals and she is the best thing that has happened to us.

My H has a great job and we are looking for our first house so I know that on that side of things we can handle it.

I loved being pregnant and I look forward to actually trying for the next one (not for the obvious reasons! ) I also know my H wants more and would be very happy to try now. We had talked a few months ago and decided to wait until next summer when she will be almost 2. I just don't think I want to wait that long and neither does he I don't think. Although I know our families would not be very happy about it...but it is for us, not them.

I hope I am making sense, cause at the moment it is hard to. I either want to go with my heart which says to have another, or my head which is saying wait a bit.

OP posts:
cupsoftea · 31/05/2008 09:40

sorry to say this - but you might not get preg staight away.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 31/05/2008 09:49

is she crawling about yet? I only ask because some of us who currently have 9-10 month old babies on the august 2007 thread are finding it quite difficult, the babies are constantly on the lookout for trouble they can get into, and apparently this nothing-is-safe stage lasts for quite a while according to friends with older children. If you're a coper, I say go for it, but I wouldn't want to be pg again just yet, personally, this stage is exhausting enough already!

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 09:50

Exactly which is why I am kinda thinking to try now?

My mom has a lot of infertility issues, and I don't know if it runs in families or not. She had me at 18 and didn't have my sister until she was 38, after a lot of trying and then finally In Vitro. Hopefully not TMI but we both have weird uteruses and cervixes. Both of ours are off to the side and our cervixes are like behind where they should be. I didn't know she was like that too until my Dr told me I was and then she told me she was too. She also has endometriosis which I don't know if that is hereditary or not.

For obvious reasons, I don't want to wait to long and then have all the hardship and tears my mom had to go through and then to be told that is it.

Because DD one was a suprise, I have never had to go through the thinking it through stage. So I am finding it difficult.

OP posts:
belgo · 31/05/2008 09:52

I have an 18 month gap between my two. I don't regret it - it was hard work and some times I wish they were a little further apart in age - but it's been well worth it. I really don't see why you should wait if you want another baby so badly.

Also, I became pregnant very easily with my first two babies. But it's taken me a year to become successfully pregnant with dc3, so fertility can be very unpredictable.

I don't see any reason why you should wait if both you and your dh are happy to try again.

cupsoftea · 31/05/2008 09:53

Don't know if it's hereditary but would ask your doc.

Once on the move they are more work but really imho there never is the right time to have another child but just the time when it happened.

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 09:54

Yeah she is crawling and pulling herself up on things already. She is a handful in that sense and I always have to keep an eye on her. She is talking (just 'hi' and 'dada') and has two teeth and all of a sudden I see her going off to college! She is just growing up so fast.

I don't want to have another one purly because I miss being able to hold my DD all day so I want a replacement. She is becoming independent and it is hard. So that is why I am kinda having issues and want to make sure that if I do try, I am doing it for the right reasons.

OP posts:
Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 09:59

Belgo: Are your two close? It is also hard to try and get the timing right so your DC are close (friend wise). My mom and my aunt are 7 years apart and my DH and his sister are 4 years apart and neither are close, and I don't want that.

Maybe I am picturing perfect movie families where everyone is all close and lovey

Also I was an only child growing up (until I was 19 but my sister is more like mine than a sister) and I don't want my DD to go through that even though I am sure there will be times that she would rather be an only one.

And I know my DH would have an entire football team if I would let him

OP posts:
no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/05/2008 10:03

I think if your both happy about it then go for it. Like someone said it may not happen straight away.
my baby is due in august and there will be nearly 19 months between my dd and the new one.
I dont doubt that it may be difficult sometimes,but as my mum always says if your at home with one might aswell be at home with another. As she had three under 5.Difficult at times but you manage.

I understand about feelinh broody I did almost as soon as I had her. My dh said lets wait until she is about 2 then try again.

But when you see how quickly they grow and change we were more than ready to try sooner rather than later.
Good luck whatever you decide.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/05/2008 10:03

I think if your both happy about it then go for it. Like someone said it may not happen straight away.
my baby is due in august and there will be nearly 19 months between my dd and the new one.
I dont doubt that it may be difficult sometimes,but as my mum always says if your at home with one might aswell be at home with another. As she had three under 5.Difficult at times but you manage.

I understand about feelinh broody I did almost as soon as I had her. My dh said lets wait until she is about 2 then try again.

But when you see how quickly they grow and change we were more than ready to try sooner rather than later.
Good luck whatever you decide.

belgo · 31/05/2008 10:03

My two play together sometimes,and fight together! Pretty normal I suspect for two sisters close in age. DD1 is very protective of dd2, which is lovely.

You are in a stable relaltionship, your dh has a good job, you both want another child, you're enjoying being a mother to your dd. There's no reason for you to wait. What your family think isn't really important - there will always be people who agree and disagree with you, you can't please everyone, so you may as well do what's best for yoursleves and please yourselves.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/05/2008 10:04

Sorry dd decided to bang the lap top

ChippyMinton · 31/05/2008 10:08

Go for it if that's what you want.
Personally I found a close gap works very well - they fight play together, and can do similar activities etc etc.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/05/2008 10:09

I agree with Belgo nicely said
You are also lucky your dh would have many more. My dh says no more after this one.
(suprises me how they can dictate how many we have, where is the compromise?)
Always wanted a large family, but we will see. May change my mind after 2

princessglitter · 31/05/2008 10:25

My two are 19 months apart and it is hard work, but it is getting easier now (8 months and 2 1/4). The hardest bit was being pregnant and chasing a toddler, but I'm glad I have my two children and can enjoy them growing up together.

NorthernLurker · 31/05/2008 10:33

My perspective is a bit different from everyone else on this thread so far I have 2 and 3/4 years between dd1 and dd2. We started trying around dd1's second birthday and were lucky enough to get pregnant straight away. It has always been a great gap - dd1 was at nursery and playgroup so I had a bit of time alone with the new baby and I only needed a double pushchair for under a year. dd1 was fast becoming independant about dressing etc. It worked brilliantly and you could not have closer sisters. I've also realised that because of the gap we'll never have to pay for two at university at the same time - assuming they want to go and aren't doctors or something similiar!
I've then got 6 years between dd2 and dd3 and I love that gap too.
I know it's hard when you're broody (and what your family would think doesn't come into it - tell them to get stuffed if they try to control your life) but I would give some thought to the benefits of a bigger gap as well as to the more obvious ones of a small gap. Good Luck

littleboyblue · 31/05/2008 10:38

My ds is coming up 10 months and we've been trying for another since early March. DS has good days and bad, the early days were really tough as he had probs bringing up wind and got signs of colic within 2 weeks! And he cried ALL day every day until he was about 14 weeks old. But I want to complete my family sooner rather than later. I feel preg in April and was so happy but mc at start of May. Still trying so fingers crossed though. Good luck. X

NorthernLurker · 31/05/2008 10:40

LBB - sorry to read of your mc - good luck with the trying!

learningallthetime · 31/05/2008 10:45

I know exactly how you feel emmabemmasmum.

My DD is 7 months and I'm already missing the baby stage - Its gone before you know it!

We are going to start trying for another baby soon. I had a c-section so I have to wait for a bit.

I grew up like an only child, my brothers and sisters are at least 15 yrs older than me, and I want my children to have each other to play with - I know how lonely a childhood can be at times.

I also want to be able to take my them out on holidays and days out which we can all enjoy and I think a close age gap would be better for that.

I do worry about being pregnant and having a toddler but I think if you have to cope then you will.

littleboyblue · 31/05/2008 11:26

Thanx NorthernLurker, it's my 3rd mc in total and dealt with this one alot better, i concentrated on how much I've been blessed with ds and that worked for me. Anyway, Know what you all mean about the baby stage. DS still isn't crawling but when he could sit and hold things and play without me, it was that little bit of independance that really scared me.
Someone told me it easier with 2 very small dc as it takes some of the guilt away IYKWIM, if 1 crying, they have to wait while you sort out other etc and like everything else, the more you have to do the easy it all becomes. Apparently!
This is not my opinion, I can only imagine how hard it is with 2 kids under 3 but maybe there is some strange logic there?

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 31/05/2008 15:01

Thank you everyone for all of the kind words.

I actually thought for some reason I may be pregnant. I just had that weird feeling, even though I am on the pill (but I was with DD too!) So today I went to Boots and got a test and did it in their bathroom. I then proceeded to cry when it showed up 'not pregnant'.

I think that answered my question

I will talk to my DH when he gets in...and thank you again everyone for the support!

Littleboyblue: Sorry to hear about your mc. I wish you plenty of luck and happiness in the future

OP posts:
littleboyblue · 31/05/2008 21:26

Thank you. You too. X

schneebly · 31/05/2008 21:31

DS1 was 8 months ond when I concieved DS2 - deliberately! In fact we started trying when DS1 was 5 months old.

There is 17 months between them and they are absolute best friends. I love seeing them with each other. DS1 was not jealous of DS2 as a baby and the only stage I found really hard work was when DS2 started walking - He was a year old and DS1 was 2.5 which is quite a difficult age anyway. However it soon all fitted into place and they keep each other entertained and are very easy to look after!