Have I made myself infertile due to abusing my body for years?

[Prayingicanfixthis]

When I was 11, until around 14 I was pretty severely anorexic. I didn’t become extremely underweight, but I started as likely morbidly obese, and ended at bordering on underweight. I got to this point via pure starvation, and I was definitely malnourished.
Then at around 17, I started dating a man who was a fair bit older than me. He gave me chlamydia. I only discovered this recently at ~20 years old when he messaged me out of the blue to let me know to expect a msg from the sexual health service soon as he had been tested for chlamydia, and suspected he gave it to me all that time ago, and that he was sorry.
This was such a shock and hasn’t stopped playing on my mind about the effects of what the chlamydia could have done to me throughout this time.
I did a lot of ‘party drugs’ from 16-18, the thought of it now makes me sick but I did abuse mdma and cocaine very very frequently throughout that time.
Just to make matters worse, my mum has PCOS and it took her 10 years to have me, and had to have IVF.

Do you think all of this abuse to my body over the years has permanently damaged my reproductive organs, and has effectively rendered me infertile?
Or is this reversible, if so, what can I do?

I’d just like to add that I know I will be judged for all of these things, and I know I may seem like an awful person. Trust me, I regret everything I have done far more than you could imagine. It causes me great distress and sadness thinking of what I have put myself through, and the long term effects it might be having on my body. If I could do one thing, it would be to go back in time and do things right.

If you’ve been having regular unprotected sex for over 12 months go see a doctor and tell them you are struggling to conceive and ask for further tests. If they do ask about tracking etc you can say you have sec on or around ovulation and track your periods, which are regular.

That’s right in the middle of the healthy bmi range OP. No need for the rabbit hole, you’re at a great weight for your height in terms of fertility.

when very young I
took loads of drugs
played havoc with my body with mad starvation diets
had chlamydia and got it treated
was very promiscuous

3 children born very easily a few years later, 2 I didn’t try for

if a damaged human body couldn’t produce children there wouldn’t be any incidence of babies born with FAS or drug dependency

try not to worry

Did you have to do anything at all to have them? Or just simply have unprotected sex at the right time? How long did it take you to conceive?
I hope you don’t me asking so many questions, but your situation sounds like mine and this brings me some hope, thank you

Sorry also do you mind me asking how long did you have chlamydia for before getting it treated if you know?

Thats brilliant thank you!

If youve been having regular unprotected sex for a year then you have been trying and you can go to your gp and seek further testing. There are also options to do this privately.

Like others have said, people who are the height of physical fitness with perfect diets struggle to conceive and people in the grip of active addiction do get pregnant. Lifestyle absolutely impacts but it's not the be-all and end-all. Wishing you all the luck in starting your family and I would recommend the boom 'it starts with the egg' if you are looking to move into more proactive 'trying'.

You've alluded to a tumultuous younger life, this can make for some of the best parents as you've seen it, done it and can really be there for your kids in their difficult periods. But pregnancy can also be a real risk factor for relapse into eating disorders and the newborn stage with absolutely impact anxiety and underlying issues. You clearly know that you want a family and have so much to offer and want to maximise your chances. Focusing on mental health is just as important as physical health and lifestyle changes as you start this next adventure.

Have you actually been diagnosed with chlamydia and then properly treated?

the risk of chlamydia is that it can cause damage to a fetus and cause a miscarriage but if you have been treated that shouldn’t be a problem

another risk is that it can cause inflammation/scarring of the tubes AND/OR womb itself and that can cause difficulties in conceiving/carrying to term

to diagnose these issues you need two different procedures- HyCoSy which is specialist ultrasound to test openneness of fallopian tubes
and a different procedure called hysteroscopy where a doctor looks inside your womb with a camera (and can remove scar tissue there and then). Second one is often overlooked in bog standard fertility clinics but is very important and done in those who have high success rates with difficult cases. You can’t see scar tissue inside the womb on the ultrasound so that’s the only way.

i don’t know if these can be done via NHS but they can definitely be done privately

and you may not even need that but if you are worried that’s what I would do given your history

and good luck! You’ve done nothing wrong

Yes, do this. They won't ask about ovulation tracking in my experience. Not using protection and regular sex = trying.

Find a counsellor to work through this guilt with. It doesn't need to wreck your life. You're not a bad person, just not perfect, like everyone else!

You're busy blaming yourself for not being pregnant - for all you know, if there's a problem it may be with your partner.

I was anorexic for years and years until I was quite a few years older than you are now. My cycle didn't return until I was 26. Anorexia is an issue for fertility whilst you are sick as supooresses your cycle. Once you are a healthy weight things will be okay again - which you are.

If you were anorexic before starting puberty it can cause you to never go through puberty and leave you infertile. That didn't happen to you or you physically would never have got pregnant at all (when you had a miscarriage). This is extreme and only happens to a small number of children - Nikki Grahame was one example.

The drugs are very unlikely to have done anything. Even people in active addition to hard drugs like heroin get pregnant. Some recreational use that isn't current won't matter.

Now the chlamidya is a genuine concern. Have you actually had this diagnosed and tested for? If not do that straight away.

If you do have it, and have had it for 3 years untreated, there is a risk you'll have damage to your fallopian tubes.

This happened to me. A boyfriend cheated on me and I didn't know I had chalmdiya for over a year. This lead to me having two ectopic pregnancies and losing one tube. My other tube is showing clear, but I haven't managed to get pregnant yet. You don't need tubes for IVF so you can still get pregnant.

It's random unfortunately. Fertility issues can happen to people who do everything 'right' and meanwhile people doing everything 'wrong' get pregnant every day and have their kids taken into care. It's not fair, but it's just the way it is.