Over 40 conception, pregnancies and big age gaps…

[Wingingitlife]

Hi I’m just wondering what people’s experiences are of being 40+ and getting pregnant naturally, also having older kids and then starting all over again?

I’ve already got 3 kids and I separated from their dad around 8 years ago. I had never thought about having any more children however I have a new partner of 6 years and we would like to have a baby together. He doesn’t have any children of his own. While I am excited at the prospect, I have to admit I am also absolutely terrified! Partly at the thought of starting all over again and party at the thought of getting pregnant again (my last pregnancy was a twin one and I was ill all the way through, the thought of having another set of twins is also a bit scary!). Any advice and encouragement would be great 😂

Similar situation here
ttc #4 with a new man and I’m 40
Been trying 2 years so far so I was hoping I would have had a baby by now!
my youngest is 10 so a bit of a gap- also thinking my body may cope with pregnancy different as it’s so long ago.

good luck! I think worries are normal with making such a big decision

Hi!! Oh similar situation to me then! Yes my youngest (twins) are 10 also! And my eldest is 18 🫠 I actually still have my coil in at the moment but about to make an appointment to have it removed. I have said to my partner though IVF isn’t an option if I’m not pregnant by 42 I’m done 😂 he understands luckily we had this conversation when we first started dating as he is quite a few years younger than me. But he is amazing with my kids and I just know he’d be an amazing dad and I want him to have that new baby experience 🥰

Not quite 40 yet but will be in November.
I already have 3 children (19, 14 and 5) and am currently in the early stages of pregnant with number 4.

Had no intentions of having more but split with my ex husband and met someone else. Like OP said, he's amazing with my 3 and has always wanted children and I just know it will be a great experience for us. He's wonderful and I'm really excited for the journey.

Good luck with your journeys ❤️

Edited to add. My partner is also slightly younger too OP!

Oh @Sjb85congratulations!! Do you mind me asking did it take you long to conceive? Xxx

Thank you! It was about 5 months for me so not long at all. We weren't actively trying, not tracking ovulation or anything like that, just not using protection and seeing what happened. Shocked it was so fast but I'm wondering it maybe the fact that we weren't putting any pressure on ourselves helped xx

Oh wow! That is quick 🤗 I think that’s the approach I’m going to take too 🥰 just relax and hope for the best. My family is complete in reality, another baby would just be a nice addition! ❤️ xxx

I am 40, have a 13, 10 and 3yr old and very early pregnant with number 4. I thought I was in perimenopause so stopped my pill to try and give my body a rest from the hormones, had a 91 day cycle and then fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned but we are all over the moon. My older two from a previous relationship were both fertility treatment babies (PCOS) but my now husband just looks at me and I get pregnant (fell pregnant first cycle with my 3yr old too) 🤣

Oh wow @LadyWhitehouse1😆 it’s nice to hear of ladies having a positive experience. I feel like when you google fertility over 40 it’s all doom and gloom!

I am 40 and just found out today I am pregnant. Although I have had 2 chemicals and a MMC in last 12 months so very nervous as only 9dpo. My children are 13 and 14 I am unsure how they will feel xxxx

My eldest was 14 when I had my youngest and I was really worried what he'd think. To say he adores his little sister is an understatement, and she adores him. He loved her sleeping on him as a baby and spent hours upon hours just cuddling her. She's 5 now and he takes her for days out together. It melts my heart how close they are, and always have been.

@Joleyjojocongratulations!! This is also a worry for me. Funnily enough it’s my 18year old that I’m most worried about. I think she felt a little pushed out when I had the twins as she went from being an only child and then they really took over our lives! She’s off to uni in September and I’m worried she will feel a bit replaced

I’m very similar. I’m 40, been with my new partner for 7 years. I have two children already, 15 and 11. It would be his first. I fell pregnant last month, first cycle but sadly ended in a chemical. But it was good to know his sperm can get there at any rate 😂 he said he was relieved about that at least lol.

Personally I can’t wait to go back into baby mode. My boys are so large and grown up lol, and my eldest especially loves babies and children. I’m looking forward to being a multi generational household as I always wanted children of many ages 😊

I agree @EmPeEf
my kids are so independent now, I’m so ready for one more bundle to carry about and snuggle with and I think my 3 would adore a baby in the house

I'm 40 have a 15 yr old a 4 and twins 3 yrs old married a second time and ye didn't take long lol

@EmPeEfyes I think that’s what I’m concerned about as well 😂 actually getting the sperm to the egg 😂

I’ve just booked my appointment with the nurse for Monday 23rd to have my IUD removed 😬

Awesome ☺️ I have to admit, since I had my coil out, my partner and I’s sex life has improved regardless of TTC. There’s something a bit sexy about being able to make a baby every time you do it 🤣

I’m all for this! 😆

I had my iud removed this morning so I guess it begins!

I have just turned 40. I got pregnant very quickly at 37 and had an uneventful pregnancy and easy birth.

We have struggled with our fertility the 2nd time around. I got pregnant quickly we when started trying again but had a MMC at 10 weeks. Then went on to have two chemicals, and I'm currently pregnant but we have been told it is likely to be another miscarriage due to slow progression. Scan in 10 days or so to find out.

General consensus for me is that my egg quality has declined, tho I seem to have enough of them. Hopeful that one good one will come along soon!

We have had all the tests and have no known fertility issues.

We will start IVF soon to - as my husband calls - buy more tickets to the lottery!

@RooneyRufingers crossed for you that everything turns out well this time! 💜

Ok so update: I had my iud removed on 23/6, my sex drive sky rocketed that day which I just assumed that was because of the rise of estrogen after removal. 24/6 I had egg white discharge and my sex drive was still really high for the next couple of days. I did ovulation tests from the 24th onwards but they were just really faint for about 4 days till they disappeared. No strong positives. I haven’t had a period for years because of my iud but the month before I got it removed I had a small bleed for a couple days which I just tracked as a period (this is my second iud and after about 3 years in my periods returned but irregular so I assume the same was starting to happen again). Based on this according to my flow app I was due to ovulate on the 27/6. However I think if I have then if it’s not unusual to ovulate straight after removal I think that maybe I have ovulated somewhere between 23-25th 🤔 my app thinks my period is due around the 13/6.
Anyway so yesterday when I wiped I had some bloody discharge. Today I’ve had some light-medium bleeding. I’ve had a banging migraine since yesterday and heightened sense of smell. I have no other period symptoms, usually, even when I don’t get an actual period when my IUD was in place, I would get absolutely ravenous for chocolate, very very sore boobs and I’d have a really low mood/irritability for a day or two before I turned. I’ve had none of this!
has anyone experienced anything similar to this and turned out to be pregnant?

Hi, I know this is an old post, but just wondered if you minded giving an update? I’m in the same situation as you…. Looking for some positivity! Thank you :)

Hi @Riverofhope! There is hope. After the post above, i did go on to have another miscarriage. We went through some pre-testing ahead of starting IVF, that, due to recurrent miscarriages, did a bit of a deeper dive on my husbands sperm. Turns out, we had issues on his side that needed treatment and didn’t come up in standard fertility testing. We weren’t really even candidates for IVF until this was sorted. We had to wait 6 months before starting ivf, make lifestyle changes, see more specialists, take more supplements and then finally in October I got pregnant naturally. I am now 25 weeks. I was over 40 so everyone just assumed the issues we were having were because I was older, and whilst this probably played a role - it wasn’t THE role. I’m grateful to the one Dr who suggested that it might be something else and insisted we test my husband further. Miscarriages and infertility are 50/50 - don’t forget this! I hope this gives you and others hope - do your research and don’t settle for it being down to the “quality of your eggs” - it just might not be.

45 and i had my 4th child with my second husband, tale end of last year. I was 44 when we conceived, completely natural pregnancy, all screening tests came back as low risk and we have this amazing little person now that has bought a lot of joy.

My older children are 18, 14 and 12. They adore their sibling and do a lot in terms of cuddles, interactions and just being lovely humans.

I am very conscious to ensure that their lives remain as uninterrupted as possible, they're all at different stages and the baby is our responsibility.

Am I exhausted? A little but equally I'm a generally active and well person meaning I don't feel decrepit or run down.

Is it hard? Yes, so hard but worth it. A very differentl experience to my older children but not in a negative way.

I did have a lengthy and painful miscarriage history, I think 13 or so consecutive ones before we had our baby. It is a tough road. But if you're aligned and committed, go for it.

All the best :)