Just relax and you’ll get pregnant

[hovebaby99]

If I hear this one more time! Infuriating, even when I try to not think about it and relax I can’t because I’m so aware of my body and how it feels

Any advice on how to relax and not think about it?

for refs I have regular acupuncture, and take my bbt. I have very regular cycles 28 days. Both husband and I have had some private tests - everything is fine. I have a slightly high amh
This month I am taking Mac’s root, baby aspirin, pineapple core and cough medicine! Trying it all as going into 8 months TTC

Absolutely nothing wrong with recreational sex when you're drunk and on holiday, OP, but if you're not ovulating at that moment in time it won't make the blindest bit of difference.

You started a threat about how annoying it is when everyone tells you to just relax and you'll get pregnant, and most people have responded telling you to relax.

Relaxing is good but it has nothing to do with getting pregnant.

Humans look for patterns and cause/effect.

So if you relaxed or ate pineapple or adopted a child and then got pregnant, people are going to think “Aha, that is the reason you got pregnant”

But if you continued stressing about not getting pregnant, and then got pregnant, nobody is going to think “Aha, the reason you got pregnant is that you kept stressing”

I was like you, tried everything including ovulation test, bbt, pineapple core, fertility lube, vitamins, legs up, put a menstrual disc in there to keep sperm close. In the end I got pregnant TWICE when I did nothing and was least expecting it because we didn’t really tried that month. To be fair your only on month 8 and it’s completely normal for it to take over a year.

Of course if you aren’t ovulating, you won’t get pregnant, but I dont think you can say that relaxing has nothing to do with getting pregnant, there are plenty of studies showing stress can increase infertility…

also the reason people are giving advice about how to relax is because that is what the OP asked for…

This was me too.

We tried ‘properly’ for around a year, but overall it was a little bit longer than that, I was heartbroken and stressed every month I got a negative test.

I finally mentally accepted we wouldn’t have a baby, i stopped tracking ovulation, and we went on holiday to Rome that same month, I ate and drank what I wanted and we really enjoyed ourselves. Theee weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test.

Baby was conceived on carbonara and Tiramisu 😅

Well I found the best way of relaxing was to start telling people who told me to relax to go fuck themselves. 😅

It's just a platitude people say because there's an awkwardness in the air when they know you are trying and failing to conceive. It used to really get on my nerves when I was struggling to conceive (took 2 years but it happened in the end for us but zero to do with me "just relaxing" - impossible to do when you are stressed about not being able to conceive.

One of those annoying sayings like "everything happens for a reason".

Great comeback!

there is an element of truth in it
my own parents married in 1955, no pregnancy forthcoming in over 7 years. They had the tests available back then and found nothing to explain it. Mum and dad decided adoption wasn't for them and decided to come to terms with a child free future. Booked a couple of expensive holidays abroad and mum fed the top tier of their wedding cake to the birds weeping as she did at all the lost hopes and dreams. She told me that was November 1963. I was born late August 1964. Mum was 33 at the time, old to be having a first baby in those days. My brother came along 21 months later at the first attempt. There are countless other similar stories in peoples family histories.

Please dont give up hope.

Update… I took two months out, stopped the tracking, temp testing, turned all the ‘trying to conceive’ settings off on my phone, drank, went on a holiday, gymed hard, ate what I wanted, booked in the with gp for some more blood tests and lo and behold I’m 5 weeks pregnant!

cant quite believe it, but anyone reading this and in the thick of it my heart goes out to you, you can’t see the wood from the trees at some points. Sending baby dust to anyone reading and thank you for the kind comments on this OP

Oh my gosh, congratulations OP!!! So happy for you :) just shows how much stress all the obsessing and tracking must cause, as it was exactly the same for me. How exciting!!!

I'm really pleased to read your update, Congratulations!

(However, I still think people should stop repeating platitudes about just relax and it will happen because it very plainly doesn't "just happen" for a lot of people).

I am delighted with your update OP; congratulations!

I haven’t read the full thread but I want to say that people told me to just relax…but it turned out that undiagnosed endometriosis had ruined my eggs and fallopian tubes so it was effectively like I’d had my tubes tied. They only discovered this at my egg retrieval. So I hate when people say ‘just relax’!

I am 23 weeks pregnant with a little boy now though thanks to ivf. Oh and all my tests with the NHS said I was ‘normal’. But there are loads of things the NHS won’t investigate.

My mother’s advice to my neighbour was to drink cherry brandy before having sex. My mother and my neighbour both said it worked.

Oh wow, congratulations! Can’t believe you started a thread with this title then it happened for you!