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Original poster

Vasectomy reversal success??

890 replies

terrier141 · 13/05/2008 14:40

Does anyone have experience of this? Hubby has just had it done and we are nervously awaiting the outcome!

OP posts:
donste · 20/03/2009 17:30

I thought I was going mad...I really did. I also thought I was the only person that has felt this way and I was trying to stop myself feeling like this by telling anyone who would listen how much I did not want another baby and 2 were enough for me. Welshsurprise, would you recommend your surgeon then?
Did everyones DH just accept that they had made a mistake or were they all willing to go straight in for the reversal? My DH did say about a year ago "give it time, then you will just get over it". But now after 2 years he is thinking "hang on aminute maybes she is in turmoil about this".
What do you recommend for our next step? A visit to the surgeon together or back to our GP? (Who wasn't that knowledgeable to start with.
Also how quickly, usually do they say you can get it done from the time of the consultation?

Sorrento · 20/03/2009 19:13

We're almost at the collect eggs and put them inside me stage, have spent £2k and if I said to DH stop now i've changed my mind he'd be more than fine about it.

I think it took 4 years of going on about it and then when I realised we were near the point of no return then he agreed because much as he doesn't want another, he doesn't mind that much if we do so as it care falls 80% to me anyway i'm being allowed my baby
I think if I ever moan about morning sickness, or pregnancy or say i'm fed up with the baby he'll swing for me though

WelshSuprise · 20/03/2009 19:17

Hi Donste, My DH admitted he felt we'd made a mistake when we went out for dinner one evening and just blurted it out after seeing a baby at the table next to us. I was shocked he felt that way to be honest as he was always very matter a fact about the whole thing and hadn't mentioned anything up till that point.

We saw our GP on the 18th June for a referral, consultation was end of June and op was done on 11th July so within 2 weeks after initially seeing him. Each surgeon has their own set of success rates so ask what theirs is at the consultation and how many times a year they perform the op.

You'll find this thread so helpful with any questions you've got. I've met some lovely ladies on here and it's great to share your feelings with them knowing they're all going through the same thing

donste · 20/03/2009 19:21

How many children have you got Sorrento? I don't really like talking to others about it as many of my friends and work collegues can't have any so I am really lucky I have 2 but I feel incomplete. My DH just thinks that 2 is enough but the fact he went to speak to the GP shows he cares how I fell about it. He did start to say though that we made the decision to get the snip in the first place for a reason....but I reminded him that life changes and so do people....not quite sure what he thinks at the moment though as haven't talked about it for a few days as sometimes I do go on and on and I don't want to completely P him off.
How long has it taken you to get to the stage your at now? Then what happens next?

Sorrento · 20/03/2009 19:29

I have three already aged 8, 6 and 4.
I would say two is very easy compared to three and not wanting to put you off but everything is geared towards 2 children and it will cost you significantly more to have that third child, hence why going for the 4th won't make much difference to me because we already have to book 2 hotel rooms for example.

I did nag and I know that won't work for everyone but I feel there's no point in going in softly softly when it's so important because I should have had a dicky fit when he was arranging the vasectomy and I didn't and look where that got me.

We've been seriously discussing this and agreeing to go for it since August last year, we met with the consultant together in October, decided ICSI was the best option in November and we're now at the point where the sperm has been retrived and if I'm lucky I'll start down regulation in April and embryo's implanted in either May or July.
I have decided though assuming I get enough eggs, 2 at least then I am having 2 goes and if that doesn't work then I shall draw a line under this and move on.
Feel free to chat away, I can't tell anyone either as my MIL will go mental when she finds out, she thought the third child was 2 too many, she only had the one.

donste · 20/03/2009 19:41

That sounds so like my mother. She believes 2 is enough for anyone but more and more people are having 3 children. I have a freind who has 3 and she has actually told me not to go ahead as she has regretted having her 3rd. (obviously would not be without him now). Then I get the people who say it is becaause I crave having a girl - I have 2 boys - but I really don't think that is it.

Sorrento · 20/03/2009 19:47

This will sound mental as I want another one but if I could have my time again I'd only have 2.
I sort of feel as if I've cooked my goose anyway by having the third so might as well have 4th because I miss the baby stage, but if i'd stuck with 2 I think I'd have long moved on by now as most of my friends with 2 have.
Financially it will make a huge difference it's much worse than going from one to two.
But of course it might be a girl which would be fantastic or he might be the next prime minister
I want another girl if anybody was giving me a choice but I feel if it's a boy then for DH it was worthwhile if that makes sense, I know if it's another girl MIL will be like what was the point of that then
My mother also thinks I'm mad lol

donste · 20/03/2009 20:13

I do feel lucky having 2 boys as I was such a horror when I hit my teens and my mam always said to me "just you wait till you have daughter and she turns out like you".
My MIL had 6 so she can't really say alot....you have me thinking maybes I should just stick with the 2 then..lol.
I do have days when I think 'really could I cope with another' but then another day I will be proper yearning for another. My 2 are now 7 and 4 soon to be 8 and 5 as they were both April babies. I just get this panic feeling that if I am going to do it then it just has to be now so there is not a huge age difference.

3kidz · 23/03/2009 11:57

been reading with interest and wish you all lots of luck.

Me and OH have been together for 4 yrs I have 3 kids from my first marriage and he has 3 from his first marriage so 6 between us However I can't help but hope/wish/pray for a child of our own together a bit selfish I know as we both already hve kids.I am 32 he is 42 so quite a gap between us.He had the snip after his last child with his ex wife.

I knew from early on he had had the op done and it didn't bother me until last yr I didn't say anything to him for fear of upsetting him but this year he brought it up himself and said he wanted a baby with me I was chuffed.

He saw his gp last week who said it wasn't worth paying for it and all the heart ache it would cause and as it was just over 10 yrs since the original op the chances of conception were really low.I did look into it so knew that really but it's the fact that it was my partner that booked the gp appointment and who wanted it then there was no discussion gp said it categorically wouldn't work so thats it

suppose i hoped he would do it anyway and a miracle would happen feel gutted but what can I do I love him and it looks like it's him and our kids from previous relationships or I move on and I can't as I love him too much.Tryng hard to accept that statistics were agaianst us and it is saving us from pain but can't help but wonder what if..........

good luck and lots of hugs to you all going down this route yourselves

Sorrento · 23/03/2009 16:03

How can the GP know that ?
I would go and see a consultant and get a 2nd opinion, there is absolutely no way a GP can say it will not work and there are other options too if you were of a mind to look into them.
What the GP means is that he won't fund it which is another matter altogether.

3kidz · 23/03/2009 16:26

oh no I know that I looked into it I never expected him to I realise that we would have to pay and don't expect otherwise why should I/we be treated any differently.

His exact words were that because it had been done so long ago it really wouldn't work and that the heartache it would cause trying isn't worth it and that is word for word seriously.

Although we looked into statistics I think because those exact words come from the gp my partner now thinks thats it end of the road.

Could try to persuade him otherwise but I haven't pushed a huge debate as appointment was last fri and his gran died a few days prior and funeral arrangements etc are being made and although her death was expected after a long illness it didn't seem really appropriate.

I have today looked up success stories from people who hve gone on to have a baby after a reversal that was more than 10 yrs ago but I guess to a point I'm clutching at straws??

Don't get me wrong I really want this but money is a big issue if I had my way we would fund it come what may but I think thats another thing my partnr is worrying about as gp has been so unpositive about it.

Will discuss it more with him over the next few days

Sorrento · 25/03/2009 14:20

Wow we have a date, I am to start down reg in May around the 23rd which seems like a million years away and is a bit depressing but at least we're getting there, something to aim for.
So looks like I'll be pregnant in June and having a March baby, everyone is born in March on my mums side of the family.
Added bonus being I can fly to Oz for Christmas so need to start saving up for that now and I can bring back a bugaboo for 2/3's of the price, it's all good !

sunshineday · 25/03/2009 15:38

Sorrento it good you have a date to aim for now, hopefully the time will fly by.

pinkmook · 26/03/2009 16:31

Good luck sorrento xxxxxxxx

Sorrento · 26/03/2009 20:45

Any news from you pink ? How are things progressing ?

pinkmook · 27/03/2009 07:00

Hi Sorrento, well GP has greed to pay for the IVF drugs so that saves us £500 or so :-). Have an appointment with the counsellor on 23rd april (she had to cancel last time) and we are awaiting the results of all the blood tests to check if I have Cystic fibrosis or some such thing or if either of us has aids or hepatitis! Then hopefully we will get some dates!

You OK apart from being impatient to start? xx

pinkmook · 27/03/2009 07:01

That should read gp has Agreed to pay....bloody A key keeps sticking, think DS has shoved some food down there! LOL!

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 11:32

I'm well thank you, driving DH potty no doubt fed up of waiting though.
Is GP grandparents or General Practitioner ? How ever did you manage that if the latter ?

pinkmook · 27/03/2009 14:38

GP as in General Practioner!! I know, I think he feels a bit guilty about so flippantly and easily filling in the paperwork to send paul for the vasectomy, then he told us we could have it reversed on the nhs - which we could not, so a bit of a fuck up all round for him. Then all the pain and stuff DH suffered after the vasectomy, and the gp is a very family oriented fella, has 4 kids and loves children so maybe thats why, dunno, I'm just grabbing the prescription and running LOL!

Did you try asking your gp? The consultant at the fertility clinic told us to, said its unusual but worth an ask!

x

Sorrento · 27/03/2009 19:13

I have an appointment for next Saturday lol
Dh reckons it's end of financial year so we might have a chance.

pixiejazz · 27/03/2009 21:12

Hi all,
Just an update, dh had vasectomy reversal on Wednesday. Not a good result as although original vasectomy done only 6 years ago it seems that he has suffered a "blow out" on both sides meaning that there was no sperm present. The procedure was abandoned as consultant said that it was pointless in reconnecting tubes.
We were both gutted as really though that this was it for us and it hit us pretty hard. Anyway now having collected our thoughts and reflected on the past few days we are now looking at our options and remaining positive.(well can't say the same for dh as he is black and blue and swollen like a good un!)
Will keep you all updated, good luck to you all with your plans x

pinkmook · 28/03/2009 11:53

Sorrento - thats exactly what my DH said when we went! Let us know how you go.

Pixiejazz - so sorry your reversal went badly. Stay with us on here - its rapidly turning into an IVF thread!

Welsh - you ok?

Terrier You ok too hun?

Anyone else I've not mentioned, hope you are all ok.

3kidz · 28/03/2009 12:44

well hve discussed things further with partner and now he says he has changed his mind because I know I am repeating myself but as gp has said chances are so low considering the length of time ago the original op was done.

feel gutted

think i will move away from this thread now have been strangely addcicted to reading all your stories.

good luck to all. xxxx

Sorrento · 28/03/2009 13:23

((((3KIDZ)))) I know this is bugger all use to you because I will feel the same if I don't have a babe by next year but I have sat in the fertility clinic and seen the tears and heartache people go through for one baby and if I get mine I shall never shout, smack or look funny at it I'll be so grateful, but I also feel like that towards the children I have now too, they are an absolute blessing.

3kidz · 28/03/2009 13:32

they are a blessing your right and part of me feels selfish and that I should be greatful when some people can't have 1 child

part of me is resentful because it is him that has caused us not to concieve I know I am out of order I really do he did what he thought was right back then.

all in all i feel like a cow but can't stop thinking the way i do

really do wish you all the very best of luck