Friend TTC at 45

[berrytree2024]

My friend is TTC at 45.
I was a bit taken a back when she said but kept positive.
I don't know anyone who has had a baby at this age. I think it might be a myth 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's her second . Her beautiful son is now 5.

Do you think I should say think again ?

Why do you think your friend isn’t aware of chances of conception at 45? It’s hardly sacred knowledge which only you possess. And as to whether it’s worth her time is a decision for her and not you: it’s her time. It’s not mean to you to say that.

Do not say that!

Why would you say anything?

She is presumably of reasonable intelligence and therefore aware that the odds of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy to term diminish with age.

It’ll either work out for her, or it won’t. No need for you to present facts she is already aware of.

I'm trying to save her from extreme disappointment. She tends to over focus on things.
Anyway the chances are like 0.5%
I don't believe anyone who says they got pregnant naturally after 45.

Is she a child, utterly unable to find out her own information?

How about saying it in a nicer way like "that sounds like an exciting but potentially challenging journey - I'm here to support you"?

You're allowed your opinion but as others have said - she has access to Google and is more than likely aware of all the probabilities and what she needs is support!

It's not up to you to decide for her if it's "worth it" or not as that's a value judgement unique to each of us, and her level of "worth it" sounds like it's different to yours, and that's ok.

Her tendency to over focus is not your problem.

Successful pregnancies after 45, especially naturally occurring ones, are less likely. Everyone knows that. However they do happen.

Leave her to it.

Has she asked for your opinion?

I got pregnant naturally 3 times in my forties, the last one I was 44. I'm sure in her mind there is a cut off point beyond which they will accept it won't happen. I was going to carry on trying while I was 45 then I think I would have accepted it.

Don’t say that to her -presumably she wants a second because she doesn’t want an only child.
Its none of your business.
Lots of women have natural pregnancies in their 40s these days.

You can say what you like I don't know why you're canvassing for validation on the internet. You sound a bit over invested in what your friend decides to do around her fertility though.

I have a friend who is 44 and single. She still thinks she'll be able to meet someone this year, settle down and have a baby. It's called blind hope. I think her chances are more or less 0% but I won't tell her that. Of course I don't encourage her dreams or say anything to give the impression that it will happen - but I'm her friend. I'm here for her when she realises she's not going to be a mum. If she asked my opinion I'd say it's very unlikely to happen. But she hasn't asked my opinion because deep down she knows the truth.

She's already had one baby at 40, I'm sure the medical experience of that has made her aware of age-related risks and likely outcomes.

If comments are being mean, it’s only because you’re treating your friend like an uneducated idiot who’s got no clue or access to Google

@berryfree why don't you believe that anyone over 45 can get pregnant naturally? Of course they can. And do! I know 3 women who've had babies naturally in their late 40s. No, it's not common but it does happen.

What do you think your friend should do? Get on contraception immediately? Stop having sex?

Nah this is a wind up. No one would genuinely post on a forum about saying this.