Hi Everyone,
I'm 23 years old. And boy do I have a lot to ask. I am a bundle of nerves and I am confused, lost and desperate. I went to the Doctor in December complaining of pain in my ovaries. They performed 3 ultrasounds (Pelvic & Transvaginal) on me (January, February, and April). The first ultrasound only showed black circles (on both ovaries. approx 4 in each) which they told me where liquid-filled cysts. They did the second ultrasound to monitor the cysts and see how they had changed. It turned out a couple of them had gotten larger (as had the pain! It is debilitating at times. ) Then my doctor told me to wait a menstrual cycle or two and get another ultrasound done. Stupid me, I was too busy working (my boyfriend and I are opening a cafe together and we are finally nearing our opening day) and so I didn't get the ultrasound done until last week. A few days later the doctors office called me and asked me to come in immediately. Of course I was panicking. You see, my father passed away suddenly from cancer in October. He had only been diagnosed a few months prior. I am terrified of also having cancer. (My aunt had breast cancer, grandmother colon cancer, and others). Well, the doctor told me that now I had a large (4.4 cm solid mass in/on my right ovary, and my ovary measures approx. 5cm)) and 4 smaller liquid cysts in the left ovary. He told me it is "ON" the outside of the ovary. That same day I met with a gynocologist who told me it was IN the ovary. So I am super confused. The gyno also told me (with what seemed like great certainty) that it is a BENIGN TUMOR called a Dermoid and that I was born with the abnormal cells to create a dermoid. But when I look "Dermoid" up online it shows as a CYST not a TUMOR. So is it inside, or outside? Tumor or cyst? I barely had time with the gyno (about 3-4 minutes) in which time he casually told me he would perform a Laparoscopy surgery which would consist of 3 "small" holes (1 above my belly button, 1 to the left of it and 1 to the right) and they'd use these tools to do 1 of 3 things: (1) remove the cyst, (2) remove the cyst and the ovary, or (3) IF they determine it is cancerous, perform a complete hysterectomy!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe this. So ofcourse they had me sign these stupid papers authorizing them to do a hysterectomy in the event the surgeon finds cancer while he is in there. So I won't know anything until I wake up!! I asked him if he could do a biopsy or some sort of test before surgery to find out if it is cancer so that I know whether to expect all my reproductive organs to be GONE when I wake up or not but he said no and didn't explain why. (It was EXTREMELY difficult to speak to this man. And because of the insurance I have, he is my 1 and only option. I also called ALL the other gynos authorized by my plan and none of them could do it for me- either their available surgery date is later than my scheduled date or they simply don't do laparoscopy) Why can't he test for cancer NOW?? I have read online that other people have been tested for levels of CA125. Or others who have had biopsies. Why can't I have one? So yesterday I went to see my Primary Care doctor to try to ask him some questions because I know he will listen- a little. But basically he told me that I shouldn't try to control things that I can't control and to live life for today. This worries me because that sounds like the speech someone would give to a dieing cancer patient, seriously! Wonderful man (my PCP but I'm so scared!!) Everything these doctors are telling me makes it sound like they all think I have cancer. Oh, to make things worse, after my 3 minute session with the surgeon (who did not explain to me what would be done pre-op, post-op, how I would feel, any complications that could occur, or anything that I should expect in general), I went on to sign the papers and I totally freaked out knowing that at age 23, unmarried and without children I was giving them the permission to give me a hysterectomy! (Keep in mind that all this happened in less than 1 week; on Monday I had the ultrasound, Thursday the doc tells me is a mass, Thursday afternoon the surgeon tells me its a Tumor, benign but a Tumor nonetheless and that I need surgery and could come out with a missing ovary or worse a hysterectomy.) So in 1 day I've gone from worried to panicked to TOTALLY FREAKING OUT HYSTERICAL mess. I panicked and they called the surgeon in who YELLED at me as I cried exactly this: "If we find it is cancer, you are going to die! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!" Oh man I was a mess. He left, super pissed off I couldn't understand why. And I reluctantly signed the papers (I did this because the soonest surgery spot he has is 3 weeks away and had I waited until Monday to sign who knows when his next spot would be. And I am desperate to get this thing out before it consumes my ovary.) That's another thing, when I went to my PCP yesterday I told him I was concerned waiting 3 weeks would be the difference between being able to keep my ovary and having to get it removed. What if in 3 weeks, this supposed "Dermoid" grows just enough to consume the ovary and they have to take it out? I am only 23 years old and I want children one day. I understand it is still possible to do so with just 1 ovary but my other ovary is just as sickly. It has 4 smaller cysts and who knows if one day they turn into a dermoid(s)? Does anyone out there have dermoids in both ovaries? Is this even possible? And I've read that Dermoids can grow on the face, in the skull, on the spine, and in the ovaries. If if was born with the cells to create a dermoid in my ovaries does that mean that I could one day have dermoids in those other places as well? Or is this very unlikely? Also, I have a million questions about the surgery if anyone could answer them please. I read online (because I've ONLY obtained information on my own online, and NOT from the surgeon) that in order to do a laparoscopy, they have to pump your body with Carbon Dioxide so they can see your organs clearly. How long does it take for the CO2 to be absorbed and/or released from your body afterwards? My boyfriend and I were going to open our cafe around May 8th (after 1 YEAR of construction/preparation) but now with all that has happened I'm not sure if we should open before my surgery (May 21) or after it. Any suggestions?? I'm just so angry. I lost all this weight (35lbs) to look and be healthy for our healthy eatery and now I've read that I'll look pregnant from the CO2 for possibly weeks afterwards! not to mention the pain I am to expect, especially in the right shoulder I've heard. Any remedies for getting rid of the CO2 faster!? What about post-op.....did anyone experience urine retention? If so, what can you do to avoid going back to the hospital for a cathedar?.......and if you had an ovary removed along with the cyst, were they able to do this through the laparoscpy with the 3 small holes, or did they have to cut you open? (The surgeon mentioned somehting to me about opening me up but I didnt understand if this was to remove the cyst or to do the hysterectomy.) And I know youre thinking I should go back to the surgeon and ask more questions but I simply cannot. You didnt see this mans face. He was pissed. I honestly think this is what happened: I was in the room with the paper gown waiting for a FEMALE doctor to come in when he came in and started to ask me what was going on. I asked politely let him know I wasnt comfortable with a male gyno and that I would wait for the female. He obviously was defensive and left. I just wish I hadn't opened my big mouth and pissed him off. Little did I know that he was going to also be my surgeon! Argh. What do I do? How can I find out if it is Cancer NOW? I looked into freezing eggs and even freezing embryos just in case I wake up without a uterus but theres no way I could afford that. Especially now with the business about to open and my boyfriend and I counting our pennies to make rent for the place. Would egg/embryo freezing even be an option for me physically and with the time I have before surgery? (3 weeks) I left a message at a local fertility center just in case so I can go for a consult next week.
Anyway, thanks so much for reading my NOVEL of a story. I hope someone out there can ease my worries with some answers for me. I just want to know what to expect. I can't bear the thought of waking up to them telling me they took out my ovary, or worse, that they did a hysterectomy. Can you tell I am panicked? I can't even sleep. Much worse, I have yet to tell my mom and sisters. I don't think my mom can take this after everything that happened with my dad.
Thanks again ladies. I can't wait to hear from you all. -Take Care