just "relax"

[Optimistic66]

Honestly i'm pissed of with people saying "don't think about it", "just relax" and whilst they mean well, it's hard when you've been trying for nearly 18m.

Also even if you mention you you've done sticks - all i hear is don't do any of that - just relax and it'll happen.

rolls eyes.

I'm sorry you are all going through too - its so sensitive - and whilst its an awful things - its also comforting to know you are not the only one who gets given this shit advice.

I was so triggered when i made this post! It was that one to many post.

Honestly for me family and medical professional also feel the worse - like you're meant to be on my team and understand.

It's one of the most insensitive things someone can say to someone with infertility and/or anxiety as it implies that it's our own fault that we can't get pregnant. 'Oh, if you could only just relax then it would happen.'

But... no. I have PCOS and my husband has sperm motility issues. If we didn't temp and track ovulation and use a fertility cup thing then a pregnancy would never happen.

Son took 15 months to conceive (one day shy of starting IVF) and this pregnancy took 22 months (plus three miscarriages and one IVF round).

I'm never not thinking about it on some level.

There's someone on mumsnet who keeps posting "just relax" on the TTC threads whilst smugly announcing she had no real issues TTC. Gives me the rage every time, like why the fuck are you on the TTC board if it doesn't apply to you or you have no actual advice to give??

I relate to this so much ❤️

People have no idea how insensitive it is.

It implies that you're doing something wrong that's stopping you from conceiving which couldn't be further from the truth.

I hope you manage to find some joy and happiness in other areas of your life during this tough time. Wishing you all the best xxx